Show Notes
In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, we explore a radically different way of understanding desire in recovery, betrayal, and marriage. Rather than treating desire as the enemy, our guest, Jay Stringer, invites us to see unwanted behaviors as signposts pointing to deeper wounds and unmet longings.
Drawing from Jay’s research with over 4,000 people, we discuss how fear-based restriction, shame-driven purity culture, and the pursuit of intensity often fuel addiction and emotional disconnection. We unpack how curiosity, compassion, and wholeness can help individuals move out of relapse cycles and support relational repair after betrayal.
For betrayed partners, we address how desire can go dormant—and how it can be reclaimed safely. We conclude by envisioning what “connected desire” looks like beyond crisis and where listeners can learn more in Jay’s new book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow.
More from Pure Desire Podcast
If you've ever been taught that your body is the problem, or looked in the mirror with shame and wondered how you could ever be free from porn, this conversation is for you.
In this episode we sit down for a conversation with Archbishop Joseph Naumann. Together, we explore the cultural roots of pornography addiction, its impact on youth and marriages, and why the church must break its silence to offer real healing.
Can the Bible be used in ways that actually cause harm?
Many couples desire deeper intimacy but struggle with shame, silence, or confusion around sexuality. When faith and sexuality become disconnected, it can impact connection with God, ourselves, and our spouse.
Many couples long for deeper intimacy but struggle to talk openly about sex, desire, and connection. Avoided conversations can create distance, misunderstanding, and loneliness, even in marriages built on love and faith.