Show Notes
Most of us know we should talk about the end of life - but almost none of us know where to start. In this episode, Melissa Reader is joined by Dr Ira Byock, one of the world’s leading voices in palliative care, to explore how we can live and love more fully by facing what we often avoid. A physician, author, and global advocate, Ira has spent decades reminding us that illness and dying are not just medical experiences, they’re deeply personal ones. Together, they unpack the four simple phrases that can transform our relationships - “Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.” - and discuss why planning for life’s later chapters should come from trust and love, not fear. This conversation also marks the launch of Violet’s Care Compass, a simple values-based tool designed to help families start these conversations early - around the kitchen table, not in the hospital corridor. Because it’s never too early to talk about the end.
FIND OUT MORE If you’re caring for aging parents, navigating your own next chapter, or just trying to keep all the balls in the air - you’re not alone. At Violet, we offer free tools and support to help families navigate the last stage of life with care and confidence. Visit violet.org.au to start the conversation. CREDITS Host: Melissa Reader Guest: Dr Ira Byock Executive & Audio Producer: Madeline Joannou - Mylk Media Find out more about Violet at violet.org.au For more information about Dr Byock's books, visit his website here. Agehood is the podcast that finally says what we're all thinking but rarely saying out loud. Hosted by Melissa Reader, CEO of Violet, we have the conversations that matter most: watching our parents age, being everyone's go-to person, the mess of love and duty, what it really takes to care for those we love, and yes, death, dying, and loss. You'll hear Australia's most trusted voices, from beloved broadcasters to respected experts, vulnerably sharing their own stories alongside practical guidance that actually helps. This isn't about having all the answers—it's about asking the right questions and knowing you're not alone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
More from Club Sandwich
Will I end up like my parent? Sarah talks to the ABC's Norman Swan, author of The Brain Cliff, about what the research says you can do about it, and why looking after yourself comes first.
How many people are in the sandwich generation? Until today, nobody knew. The number: 2.43 million people aged 35–70 currently help or care for an ageing parent. This number is expected to rise to over 6 million within 10 years. In this episode, Sarah Macdonald is joined by Melissa Reader (CEO of Vera and Commissioning Editor of Club Sandwich) to discuss Vera's new, nationally representative research conducted in partnership with YouGov. They explain why this group has been missing from major reports, and explore knock-on effects for carers' work and finances. "People often aren't counting themselves," says Sarah. "They're not counting the labour of love they do as labour; they're seeing it as love. But if you can get help in that labour, then you've got more time to love." Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide. FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au
In this bonus episode, Sarah Macdonald is joined by Melissa Reader to discuss new research into Australia's 'invisible army' of sandwich generation carers.
Sarah talks to Nicole Rogerson, CEO of Autism Australia, about raising a son with autism, the sandwich generation's double layer when ageing parents are added to the mix, and the blunt, funny, necessary conversation about what happens to a disabled child after you're gone.
She used to let everyone else win. Now she's got a trophy cabinet and a Rottweiler who reads her mind. Sarah visits a dementia day programme run by ECH in Adelaide to meet Gina, and get honest advice on respite, guilt, and the signs that are easy to miss.