Four-Star General Stanley McChrystal: What War Taught Me About Resolving Conflict

How do you persuade a president, negotiate with Russia, and build a coalition when change seems impossible?

David Brooks, bestselling author of How to Know a Person, explores how to bridge America's political and cultural divide, and why listening, empathy, judgment, and understanding people we disagree with may matter more than persuasion. Brooks, host of the new podcast The Permanent Questions and author of The Second Mountain, argues that many of the institutions shaping young people have become better at preparing them for careers than preparing them for life. We explore what universities should be teaching that they often are not: judgment, empathy, moral reasoning, curiosity, listening, and the ability to understand people whose beliefs differ from our own. David explains why intelligence and good judgment are not the same thing, why asking better questions can transform our relationships, and why understanding another person should come before trying to persuade them. The conversation ranges from America's political and cultural divisions to AI and education, meaning and faith, marriage and parenting, loneliness and friendship, and what David learned about suffering and character. At the heart of the conversation is an idea from How to Know a Person: in an increasingly divided culture, learning how to truly see and understand another human being may be one of the most important things we can learn to do. This is ultimately a hopeful conversation about becoming better listeners, better thinkers, better parents and partners, and better at living with people who see the world differently. BOOKS AND RESOURCES David Brooks How to Know a Personhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/652822/how-to-know-a-person-by-david-brooks/ The Second Mountainhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/3375/david-brooks/ DAVID BROOKS'S NEW PODCAST The Permanent Questions with David Brookshttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-permanent-questions-with-david-brooks/id6803240325 BOOKS DISCUSSED AND RECOMMENDED The Sense of Reality by Isaiah Berlinhttps://www.amazon.com/s?k=The+Sense+of+Reality+Isaiah+Berlin Community by Peter Blockhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/815995/community-third-edition-by-peter-block/ The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller and Kathy Kellerhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/309809/the-meaning-of-marriage-by-timothy-keller-with-kathy-keller/ Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Franklhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/206272/mans-search-for-meaning-by-viktor-e-frankl/ Morality by Jonathan Sackshttps://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/jonathan-sacks/morality/9781541675322/ The Tyranny of Merit by Michael J. Sandelhttps://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250770028/thetyrannyofmerit/ Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegnerhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/172500/crossing-to-safety-by-wallace-stegner/ Juvenescence by Robert Pogue Harrisonhttps://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/J/bo18596462.html

Angela Duckworth, bestselling author of Grit, returns with a powerful new idea: success depends not only on your character and perseverance, but also on the people, places, cultures, and environments surrounding you. In her new book, Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, the University of Pennsylvania and Wharton professor explains why grit and willpower are sometimes not enough. Instead of always asking, “What’s wrong with me?” Angela suggests asking a different question: “What’s wrong with my situation—and how can i change it?” In this conversation, Angela explains how to intentionally create situations that make success, better relationships, and positive change more likely. They explore how to recognize a culture that is holding you back, choose influential peers, find mentors without awkwardly asking someone to “be your mentor,” and design an environment that makes good decisions easier. Angela also discusses what Taylor Swift understood about the power of place, how parents shape children through behavior rather than lectures, and how changing the situation helped Angela and her husband navigate a crisis in their marriage. The conversation concludes with a wider examination of political polarization, social media, smartphones, public education, and the environments that increasingly separate us from people who think differently. Topics include: • Why grit is necessary but not sufficient • How your environment shapes your behavior and identity • When perseverance becomes a reason to remain in the wrong situation • How culture and peer groups influence career decisions• Practical strategies for finding mentors • Parenting through modeling rather than lecturing • Changing the situation instead of trying to change your spouse • Social media, smartphones, and political polarization • How to design surroundings that bring out your best Get Angela Duckworth’s new book, Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/situatedGet Angela's Best Selling Book Grit: https://www.angeladuckworth.com/grit

Blake Mycoskie, founder of TOMS Shoes, joins Stan to discuss his entrepreneurial journey through the lens of negotiation, from losing The Amazing Race due to wrong assumptions to building TOMS’ one-for-one model that donated over 100 million pairs of shoes. He shares negotiation lessons from supply-chain struggles in Argentina and China, early PR-driven demand he couldn’t fulfill, and a costly Nordstrom deal he “won” by refusing boxes that later backfired. After selling TOMS for nearly $1B and moving to Jackson Hole, Blake describes losing purpose, falling into deep depression, and seeking external fixes before realizing fulfillment required inner work. He explains the role of community, reducing mental-health stigma, his No Magic Pill podcast, and his “Enough” bracelet nonprofit supporting mental-health causes. ------------------------------------ No Magic Pill Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@NoMagicPillwithBlakeMycoskie Personal Website: https://blakemycoskie.com/Enough: https://blakemycoskie.com/enough Morning Water: https://blakemycoskie.com/morning-water

In this episode of All Things Negotiation, Stanford professor and former U.S. Ambassador to Russia Michael McFaul discusses the difference between autocrats and democrats. How leaders like Putin, Xi, and Trump think differently than leaders who seek to protect democratic institutions. As someone who has known Putin since before his rise to power, Ambassador Mcfaul explains why he is not interested in personal friendship with American leaders and how offering unilateral concessions yields nothing in return. Ambassador McFaul reflects on the Obama-era Iran nuclear deal, arguing it successfully constrained Iran’s program and that Trump’s withdrawal accelerated Iran’s capacity while failing to meet stated objectives. He explains how autocrats are paranoid about democratic ideas, and he traces Putin’s evolution and obsession with Ukraine. The conversation covers leadership, U.S. polarization and isolationism, President Zelensky’s wartime transformation, the strategic importance of aiding Ukraine for European security and Taiwan deterrence, and how China uses international institutions and new multilateral bodies while maintaining a limited partnership with Russia.