Ep. 349 - How to stop romanticizing your ex

How could your ex be completely in love with you one minute and then suddenly act like they want nothing to do with you? If you've been replaying your breakup trying to figure out how they could change their mind so fast, you're not alone in wanting an explanation. But there's something your brain may be doing with that question that is keeping you stuck far longer than you need to be. In this episode, I'm breaking down what may actually be happening when someone seems to "switch up" out of nowhere, why the ending can feel completely different to the person leaving than the person being left, and what to do when you never get an explanation that makes you feel better. Because there is a way to move forward even when part of you is still sitting there thinking, "But HOW did they switch up out of nowhere!?" Join the Beyond Your Breakup Membership to take what you're learning on the podcast and apply it to YOUR life: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/ Extra Resources Referenced in the Episode: Grief bubble - https://dorothyabjohnson.com/2020/02/24/the-grief-bubble/ How to stop feeling on the edge of tears after your breakup - https://dorothyabjohnson.com/2025/09/29/how-to-stop-feeling-on-the-edge-of-tears-after-your-breakup/

How do you get over someone you had an affair with for years, especially when part of you still believes you should have left your marriage for them? If you've been stuck for months or even years, replaying what happened, regretting your decisions, checking for contact, or begging your ex to take you back, this episode is for you. I'm answering a listener's deeply personal question about getting over a long-term affair partner, and we're going straight into the parts of this kind of breakup that can make it feel impossible to let go. There's a reason these relationships can be so hard to detach from, and getting back to the person you were before the affair isn't as simple as "just stop thinking about him." I'm walking through what I would actually work on with you if we were sitting together in a coaching session, including one counterintuitive thing you can do today that may finally start loosening the grip this person has on your mind. Beyond Your Breakup Membership: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/ Submit a Question for the Podcast: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/podcastquestion/

There's a part of you that knows you're supposed to learn to love yourself, take care of yourself, and build a life you love after a breakup… but what if you don't WANT to do all of that? What if, underneath all the "I'm independent and I can do it myself" advice, you're actually thinking, "I don't want to take care of myself. I want someone to take care of ME." I get it. I've felt that way, and in this episode I'm sharing a personal story that completely changed the way I think about what we're actually doing when we learn to take care of ourselves after heartbreak. I teach how to do this work in a way that leads to you being taken care of by OTHERS not just yourself. The Beyond Your Breakup Membership is now OPEN: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/ Submit a Question for the Podcast: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/podcastquestion/

If you've been wondering "What is actually the best way to get over my ex and build a bigger, better life?" I want to make this really simple for you. I've realized I haven't been nearly direct enough about the new way you can work with me, and after getting question after question from listeners, I knew I needed to explain exactly what I created and who it's for. In this episode, I'm breaking down the Beyond Your Breakup Membership and why I designed it differently from anything I've offered before. Whether you're secretly hoping your ex comes back, still obsessing even though you know he isn't right for you, feeling guilty about leaving, trying to repair a marriage after an affair, mostly over your ex but stuck in the final stretch, or completely ready to stop talking about your breakup and start building the life you actually want, there's a reason I believe this is the place to do that work. I'll explain the two steps we're focused on, what makes this different from my original Get Over Your Ex program, and what it actually looks like to have ongoing coaching, support, community, and access to my entire body of work while you build what comes next. If you've been waiting for a sign that there's a more direct way to do this work with me, listen to this episode. Beyond Your Breakup Membership: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/

If you know you don't want your old relationship back but still can't get excited about what comes next, there's a reason: your brain is much more comfortable with what it already knows than a future it has never experienced. Your ex, your old routines, and the life you built together are familiar, while dating again, becoming someone new, or creating a bigger and better life can feel vague, risky, or completely impossible to picture. In this episode, we're getting into the neuroscience behind manifestation and why your brain can actually reject the very things you say you want simply because they're unfamiliar. I'll share some of the ways I've learned to make a future feel more familiar before it arrives, including an exercise that completely changed how one woman thought about what she was trying to create. We'll also talk about why you don't have to make yourself miserable about not having what you want in order to go after it. If you're ready to stop letting your brain default to the life you already know and start creating evidence that a different life is possible, you're going to want to hear this one. Join the NEW Beyond Your Breakup Membership – https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/