Why We Self-Sabotage and How to Break Free From Shame | Lauren McQuistin

Do you ever get stuck in a spiral of intrusive thoughts and can’t step away from them, even when you know they aren’t true? In this solo episode of Seen, I’m sharing what more than 25 years of living with severe OCD has taught me about handling intrusive thoughts. I’m not a therapist, and I’m not claiming to be an expert. These are the tools that have helped me most, and I hope they help you too. Almost everyone has intrusive thoughts, whether or not they have OCD. The thoughts themselves aren’t the problem. What matters is what we do with them. I talk openly about my own experience: the bedtime prayers I felt I had to repeat for hours as a child, the fear that I’d done something terrible, the contamination fears, and the all-or-nothing thoughts I still have around food and exercise. Join the community: 💌 Substack: Subscribe to Pandora's newsletter for honest reflections and thoughtful conversations about mental health, wellbeing, and life.→ https://substack.com/@seenwithpandora 🎧 Never miss an episode of SEEN! Listen to the podcast anytime, anywhere. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1Ku2D90pNwBLM17HvLxlB1?si=fbcad6ff3bb24bfa Apple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/seen-with-pandora-morris/id1649515453 ABOUT SEEN Hosted by Pandora Morris, Seen is a podcast featuring bold, brave, and honest conversations about mental health, wellbeing, relationships, and the experiences that shape our lives. Through personal stories and expert insights, Seen creates space for understanding, connection, and healing. Connect with Pandora Morris 🌐 Website: https://www.seenwithpandoramorris.com/📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seenwithpandora/💛 Recommended Resources: Explore Pandora's collection of mental health and wellbeing resources for additional guidance and support.→ https://www.seenwithpandoramorris.com/resources

Where do you start when life feels like too much?

How do you actually stop overthinking?On this episode of Seen, I sit down with clinical psychologist Dr Jessamy Hibberd, author of The Overthinking Cure. Her book opened my eyes to so many tools I had never thought of.Jessamy calls overthinking the problem that disguises itself as the solution. It feels useful, but she says the research shows it does not solve problems, and it should come with a health warning. We talk about rumination and worry, what happens in your brain when your mood drops, the expectation gap, perfectionism, and why modern life makes it so easy to overthink.Then we get practical. Jessamy explains what a doom spiral is, why you need to shift your mood before you try to think your way out, and why the research suggests it takes only about eight minutes. She walks through the five steps from her book and explains why clarity comes from action, not before it.In this episode, you'll learn:- Why overthinking feels productive, and what the research actually says about it- The difference between rumination, worry and healthy reflection- How to shift your mood first, and why Jessamy says it takes about eight minutes- The five steps to breaking the cycle, from noticing a thought to facing the fearIf your own mind has felt exhausting lately, I hope this one gives you somewhere gentle to start.Chapters: What Overthinking Is, And When It Turns Destructive (00:00) Why Overthinking Is The Problem Disguised As The Solution (02:45) What Happens In Your Brain When Your Mood Drops (04:52) The Link With Anxiety, And How To Spot Your Triggers (06:29) Why We Reach For Food, Busyness Or Addiction Instead (09:05) Comparison, Control And Why Modern Life Fuels Overthinking (10:31) Why Your Predictions Are Rarely Right, And Going Anyway (16:13) Doom Spirals: What They Are And How To Notice One (19:31) How To Break A Spiral, And Why It Only Takes 8 Minutes (21:14) Why Overthinking Preys On What Matters Most To You (23:14) The Spotlight Of Attention, And Why Thoughts Aren't Facts (29:16) The 5 Steps To Breaking The Cycle (34:19) Rebuilding Trust In Yourself, One Decision At A Time (38:58) Can An Overthinker Change, And What If You Feel Trapped (43:06) When Jessamy Felt Truly Seen (45:30)This episode is for education only and isn't medical advice. We touch on anxiety, addiction and disordered eating. If any of it feels close to home, please speak to your GP or a qualified therapist.

How can you tell the difference between a tough boss and a narcissistic one?In this clip, I'm joined by Kathleen Saxton to talk about narcissistic bosses, both men and women. We explore the one question that separates a tough boss from a toxic one, why female narcissists can be harder to spot at work, the exact phrases to use when your boss criticizes you, how to rebuild trust in your own judgment after being gaslit, and how to help a colleague who is struggling.

What if the independent, ambitious life you've built is the very thing you've started to blame for keeping love at arm's length?