Show Notes
What do you do when someone you love gets that diagnosis, the one nobody should ever have to hear?
Josh and Katie get real about how grief and faith are not at odds. Every situation is unique, and many of us have stories of well-meaning Christians saying insensitive or poorly timed things in painful seasons. They’re passionate about equipping the church to honor and support each other through the hardest times, which is why they sat down to share simple tools to help us rally with compassion and empathy, love well, and believe for miracles together.
Whether it’s your spouse, parents, friend, or someone in your small group, this one’s for anyone who wants to love like Jesus in the hardest seasons.
How Jesus Leads the Way: When Lazarus dies, Jesus doesn’t just shed a tear. He weeps, overcome with grief over what has already happened and over a death that should never have been. But He isn’t grieving the future, because He has faith for that. After Lazarus has been dead four days, Jesus calls him out of the tomb. He grieves what should never have been while holding faith for what’s coming, and He shows us that the fullest picture of love carries both at the same time.
In this episode: What to actually say (and what to skip) when you first hear the news
You do not need someone else’s faith in order to have faith yourself
Ask the spectrum question, then honor whatever room they give you
We grieve what has happened, but we don’t grieve the future
Whatever path they choose (traditional medicine, alternative, or nothing at all) , add your faith to it and triple team this thing
How to follow a family’s lead with their kids, whether you’re the parent, the grandparent, or the friend driving them to soccer practice
Scared yourself? Offload to the Lord, not to the family you’re carrying
Contending for someone’s healing or breakthrough? Send this episode to your crew and start a prayer group. Here’s how: Ask first. Find out where they are on the spectrum and what kind of prayer they’re comfortable with.
Gather your people, whether that’s your small group, your friends, your roommates, or your family, and commit to believing together.
Make a sign-up sheet so someone is praying with them every day or every week.
Pray over them and take communion together, thanking Jesus that by His stripes they are healed.
Carry the practical stuff too: meals, rides, babysitting, a mowed lawn.
Keep showing up. Mustard seed faith keeps bouncing back and doesn’t quit.
Let's mustard seed this thing.
Chapters 00:00 Grief and faith aren’t at odds 00:23 Walking with someone through a hard diagnosis 02:49 When someone isn’t believing for healing 06:33 Asking the “spectrum” question 09:04 When the news catches everyone off guard 10:27 Holding grief and faith together 11:21 Jesus wept: the story of Lazarus 14:52 The boundary line for grief 18:58 Sitting with someone after a loss 20:51 Medicine, natural treatment, or faith: honoring their choice 24:49 When we don’t see the breakthrough 25:32 Talking to kids about a diagnosis 28:38 Where to take your own fear 30:21 Rhythms of prayer and communion 31:30 Mustard seed faith 33:24 In the doctor’s office 34:06 Closing prayer
Scripture: John 11, Romans 12:15, Matthew 6:34, Psalm 118:17, Matthew 17:20
More from Healthy Homes
You've torn it all down. So what now? Do you just stay deconstructing forever?Josh sits down with our good friend, Paul Anleitner, a longtime Twin Cities worship pastor, author of Based on a True Story, and host of the Goodmakers Podcast. They get into where deconstruction came from, why it's hit our generation so hard, and how you move through the valley instead of living in it.If you're the one wrestling, or you love someone who's been wrestling for years, this conversation is a good place to start.Looking to Jesus:The hard questions aren't new and they aren't off-limits. They're all over Job and Ecclesiastes. But Jesus doesn't leave us in the valley. He's the Good Shepherd who walks us through it. Acts 17 says God "is not far from any one of us." If you feel like you've gone too far to find your way back, you're closer than you think.In this episode:- Why questioning your faith isn't the problem, but staying there forever is- Why didn't our grandparents' generation deconstruct?- What happens when deconstruction has no end point- Thomas's story: a home group built on "we all hate church," and a prayer to a God he didn't believe in- Why you can't just self-author your own story because "civilization is a group project"Try this week:1. Ask yourself: What story is shaping how I see God, church, and myself right now?2. Notice which conversations leave you more cynical and which leave you more whole.3. Pray one honest prayer, even a half-hearted one.4. Take one small step: read Acts 17, call a friend, or show up on Sunday.5. If someone you love is in the wrestle, don't rush them out of the valley. Walk through it with them.Know someone who's been in the wrestle for a while? Send them this one. Part two with Paul is coming next episode.Chapters00:00 Episode Intro00:34 Meet Paul Anleitner02:49 Why deconstruction, and why now04:28 Where the word "deconstruction" came from07:36 Why grandpa didn't deconstruct09:10 Questions aren't the enemy10:09 When deconstruction has no end11:20 Ecclesiastes and the hard questions13:21 The anti-story underneath it all16:04 Seeing through vs. seeing to16:48 When the cynic becomes the hero17:46 If your friend is deconstructing18:26 Thomas's story20:48 "We all hate church"22:14 Praying to a God you don't believe in23:21 Put down the sledgehammer25:02 He kept taking steps forward25:37 Closer than you think26:23 There's no neutral space28:54 Can I just self-author my story?29:20 The return of deism33:13 Civilization is a group project35:20 A prayer for those in the wrestleScripture: Ecclesiastes, Job, Proverbs, Acts 17:27-28, Luke 15, John 20:24-29, Matthew 5:13-16, Colossians 1:17, Hebrews 1:3
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