133: Raising Empowered Children: Insights for the Codependent Perfectionist Parent
Women In-Depth: Conversations about the Inner Lives of WomenShow Notes
In this episode of Women In-Depth, Alana Carvalho, LMHC, shares her insights on helping parents recover from patterns of codependency and perfectionism so they can raise empowered children.
Alana Carvalho is a licensed mental health counselor who focuses on helping parents, couples and individuals build balanced relationships by releasing old patterns and becoming more authentic. She is especially passionate about helping individuals see how healing codependency and perfectionism can lead to a more joy filled life. Alana has lectured on child development at The College of Staten Island. Her first book Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist's Guide to Parenting is now available on amazon.com. Alana maintains her private practice in Midtown Manhattan and is currently seeing clients virtually. You can connect with her through her website, Instagram, podcast or you can email her at [email protected]
Topics discussed in this episode: The importance of helping parents understand codependency and perfectionism (2:39) What is codependency? (8:57) How codependency can show up in parenting (9:34) How someone can begin to heal from codependency (18:31) What is perfectionism? (19:52) How perfectionism can show up in parenting (20:30) The double whammy of codependency and perfectionism in parenting (24:25) The impact of little, everyday kinds of trauma (29:08) The importance of emotional safety (35:20) Bringing faith and spirituality into parenting (42:59)
Resources: Alana's website: https://www.alanacarvalho.com/ Alana's book: Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist's Guide to Parenting Women In-Depth episodes on childhood emotional neglect (CEN)with Dr. Jonice Webb: Childhood Emotional Neglect: The Invisible Experience After Childhood Emotional Neglect: Healing Your Relationships with Your Partner, Children, & Parents
More from Women In-Depth: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women
"The areas that we struggle with the most, where we feel maybe we're the hardest on ourselves, or the most stuck… these are actually potentials for really building a strong foundation with your recovery." [20:47]
"[Dissociation] can happen with anything that is overwhelming or intense and I think it is important, especially to those who are highly sensitive, to be aware of because it's not just perceived danger or a lot of anxiety or stress. It can be something very positive that you actually want." [9:20]
"The body never lies and that is the truth."
"A large part of the work of The Mind-Body Stress Reset is coming to understand how important those sensations that run through your body are - coming to value them. I think we are a culture that overvalues our thinking-self and undervalues our feeling-self." [51:10]
This episode of Women In-Depth features Dr. Tracy Packiam Alloway, an award-winning psychologist who has conducted extensive research on memory and the brain. In this conversation Dr. Alloway discusses her recent book "Think Like a Girl: 10 Unique Strengths of a Woman's Brain and How to Make Them Work for You."