Don't Call Me Darling

#004 Hairy Growlers, Dirty Sambos & Creeping Jesus

Don't Call Me Darling

Show Notes

Don’t Call Me Darling, Episode 4 Niall and Karen Boylan are back with another episode of Don’t Call Me Darling, where marriage, relationships, everyday annoyances and complete nonsense all end up on the table. This week, they tackle everything from wooden knives and forks that feel horrible in your mouth, to the terrifying experience of having a backseat driver beside you, complete with imaginary brakes and dramatic gasps every time you approach a roundabout. There’s also a trip to Coronation Street, where it seems half the residents are either in jail, heading to jail or probably should be, plus a look at Irish drinking culture, the people who refuse to accept “I don’t drink” as an answer, dodgy pub sandwiches and why a kebab suddenly looks like fine dining after a night out. Niall and Karen also ask why airplane food is so bad, reminisce about the unique experience of flying Aeroflot, and debate whether the whole tradwife thing is really as terrible as people make it out to be. Then things get even more personal. If someone gives you a cheap engagement ring, should you give it back? How soon is too soon to move on after the death of a partner? Are pet names for your other half sweet or just embarrassing? And what happens when your partner calls you something you absolutely hate? There’s also Milo the dinosaur, or is he actually a dog?, a conversation about hairy women and hairy growlers, and the strange things couples discover they apparently have very different opinions about. And if that isn’t enough, there’s music nobody can remember properly, including four fellas trying to identify the same song with completely different lyrics, plus a look at the alignment of the planets and so called planet parades, and whether staring up at the night sky makes us feel insignificant or just gives Niall another excuse to buy something expensive. As always, it’s Niall and Karen talking about everything and anything, agreeing, disagreeing, laughing at each other and giving listeners another glimpse into what life is really like behind the microphones.

More from Don't Call Me Darling

Oct 19, 2026

It's another week of marital madness, hilarious disagreements, outrageous conversations and plenty of laughs as Niall and Karen return with Episode 14 of Don't Call Me Darling! This week, Niall takes a trip down memory lane with his favourite old TV shows, including For the Love of Ada, Talking Pictures TV and The Footage Detectives. There's also Arthur's Mailbag, some wonderfully ridiculous names like Mr Pickles and Bunny Carr, and the mystery of why we say things like "Let's be frank!" Karen reveals more menopausal madness involving her friend Dee, while Niall wonders whether his wife is getting a little too close to Viktor, the AI assistant in her car! Is there room for another man in this marriage, even if he lives in the dashboard? The couple also get stuck into flying cars, bizarre car launches, Miss Ireland, a giant butt statue and the Irish obsession with shouting "Jesus, Mary and Holy Saint Joseph!" even when you're not remotely religious. And speaking of strange things, Niall has apparently been told he looks like Mick Jagger! Karen might have something to say about that! There's another explosive listener dilemma from a wife who's had enough of her husband drinking too much, doing feck all around the house and generally being, in her own words, "a prick!" Should she put up with him or show him the door? Plus, Niall has a rant about bloody bike lanes, and the pair ask whatever happened to good old-fashioned customer service. From KFC to McDonald's, have those enormous self-service ordering screens made something as simple as buying a burger a complete pain in the backside? It's nostalgia, menopause, marital moaning, mad technology and plenty of Irish humour. Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths. Join Niall and Karen for another funny, frank and occasionally outrageous episode of Don't Call Me Darling, where nothing is off limits and agreeing with each other is entirely optional!

Oct 12, 2026

It's another week of marital madness, outrageous confessions and plenty of laughs as Niall and Karen return with a brand new episode of Don't Call Me Darling, the podcast where absolutely nothing is off limits! Karen's bang on the head seems to be having some lasting effects, especially when she goes shopping and forgets the sugar and bog roll. Meanwhile, the family cat Cinnamon brings home a rather unwelcome present, and Karen's deteriorating hearing is causing a few problems, particularly when it comes to those intimate moments in the bedroom! Niall recalls a hilarious nightclub story, they discuss what it means to be sent to Coventry, and there's the curious case of the smoking doctor. There's also the mysterious Urinator, Niall's unfortunate need for a whizz, a theft at Holy Cross and Lilly's Holy Water font. Even a Wicklow county councillor gets dragged into the madness after a scary TikTok post goes viral. Things get even more embarrassing when Niall confesses to his late father about the 50p porn cinema he once operated in his bedroom! And just when you thought married life couldn't get any more exciting, the couple tackle the great domestic debates, including top loading washing machines, the correct way to load a tumble dryer and how to get rid of moss and algae. There's talk of "linner", why men seem to struggle with babies and the smell of death lurking in a dirty nappy, the Wimbledon Wombles, Rolex watch faces and a little James Bond 007 thrown in for good measure. Niall and Karen also tackle their latest listener dilemmas, debate why we desperately need more bank holidays and holidays in general, and somehow end up discussing lickers, suckers and slurpers while getting stuck into Moules Marinière! It's marriage, mayhem, embarrassing confessions and the kind of conversations most couples probably shouldn't have in public. Join Niall and Karen for another hilarious episode of Don't Call Me Darling, where the arguments are real, the stories are ridiculous and there's never a dull moment! Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths. Got a relationship problem, a funny story or a dilemma you'd like Niall and Karen to tackle? Email [email protected]. And don't forget to follow the podcast on Spotify and share it with your friends and family. Everyone could do with a laugh!

Oct 5, 2026

Karen’s taken a bang on the head, but thankfully it hasn’t stopped her talking, and this week Don’t Call Me Darling is all over the place in the best possible way. Niall has a LOT to say about Aer Lingus WiFi and why getting the password sometimes feels like trying to uncover the Third Secret of Fatima. They also discuss the lost art of putting pen to paper, leaving the house looking like a complete state, the fake sick voice employees put on when ringing the boss and that strange phenomenon where your illness suddenly becomes their illness. Plus, are the days of nicking office stationery finally over? Is a woman’s body hair anybody’s business but her own? Niall and Karen get into loverats, cheaters and relationship boundaries, before discussing the 62 year old woman who packed in her crappy job, went travelling around the world and says she has absolutely no regrets. There’s also “gooning”, the bizarre and potentially dangerous Gen Z trend, Meghan Markle’s Advent Calendar, Tom Cruise apparently keeping chivalry alive and, for reasons nobody can quite explain, the return of the ghee as Chef Fatty reveals his roast potato secrets. And if that isn’t enough, Larry the Cat makes an appearance, there’s a baked beans world record and possibly a few windy days ahead. Finally, this week’s Listener Dilemma: ROAD RAGE! When another driver sends you over the edge, how far is too far? It’s marriage, arguments, laughs, nonsense and absolutely no filter. Don’t Call Me Darling, with Niall & Karen.

Sep 28, 2026

Episode Eleven of Don’t Call Me Darling sees Niall and Karen getting stuck into politics, relationships, attraction, religion, friendship and, somehow, a woman who married a bus. Could Karen ever enter politics? She has a few things to say about the Social Democrats, while Niall looks back at Bertie Ahern and remembers his own days with Real Radio. Then things take a slightly stranger turn with mechanophilia, the sexual attraction to machines, including the story of a 35 year old woman who actually married her bus. Back at home, Niall has a few complaints about Karen throwing perfectly good food in the bin because of best before dates, along with arguments over sausages, rashers, squeezing the bread and exactly who knows what they are doing in the kitchen. They also ask whether either of them would survive modern dating if they suddenly found themselves single, whether couples really need to sleep in the same bed to stay close and the ridiculous little things couples pretend they never argue about. Is life actually better with children or without them? Is intelligence sexy? And when it comes to physical attraction, does size really matter, or are we all far more obsessed with weight and appearance than we admit? Somehow, Pierce Brosnan and his Remington Steele days enter the conversation too. Destiny Divine joins the discussion as Karen attempts the seemingly impossible task of convincing Niall to believe in God. There is also the art of haggling. Would you ever ask for a better price, and can Niall rely on his legendary charm to talk his way into a bargain? Following the debate around Ed Sheeran, Niall and Karen ask another question: how important are close friends as you get older, and how many of the people we call friends are actually true friends? And finally, this week’s Listener Dilemma could test even the strongest marriage: “My wife wants her mother to move in.” Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths. It’s Don’t Call Me Darling with Niall and Karen Boylan.

Sep 21, 2026

This week on Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall and Karen Boylan tackle the questions every couple thinks about but probably should not ask. Should you ever reveal your “magic number,” or is your sexual history one figure best buried with the exes? Is sharing your location a sign of trust, or simply twenty four hour surveillance with a loving smile? They also discuss how much sex is “normal” in a marriage, and what happens when one partner wants far more intimacy than the other. Niall explains why supermarkets seem deliberately designed to separate couples, and why the most loving thing a man can do when his wife goes clothes shopping is leave immediately and keep his opinions to himself. They also ask whether money really buys happiness after spotting a wealthy, glamorous couple who looked absolutely miserable, although Niall admits he would still prefer to be miserable in a large house with the heating on. Karen reveals her latest collection of mystery insect bites, while they debate whether looking through your partner’s phone should be grounds for divorce and whether working from home is quietly destroying relationships. There is also the important business of naming the pandas at Fota Wildlife Park, although Niall is not entirely convinced they are actually pandas, plus why Karen can never successfully surprise him. Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths, with plenty more along the way.

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