Why We Chase the Unavailable: The Clinical Roots of Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Cycles

When someone you love is struggling with depression, addiction, or simply feeling lost in life, it can be heartbreaking to watch them lose their motivation and sense of direction. You can see their potential, but how do you help them see it too? In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon explores why having a sense of purpose is so important for mental health and addiction recovery, and how you can help a loved one reconnect with what makes life meaningful. Inspired by her mother's personal journey to sobriety, Dr. Kibby shares how finding a reason to get better can become a powerful source of motivation, even when recovery feels difficult. You'll learn: Why purpose and happiness aren't necessarily the same thing

Why are so many young men feeling lonely, lost, and disconnected? And why do the things they turn to for comfort often leave them feeling even worse? In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon explores the loneliness trap affecting young men today. From dating struggles and social isolation to looksmaxxing, online communities, and the pressure to be successful, she breaks down how young men can get stuck in a cycle that's increasingly difficult to escape. But there's a way out, and it might not be what you'd expect. Drawing on psychology, research, and her own experiences, Dr. Kibby shares three practical ways to rebuild connection, confidence, and a sense of purpose. She also discusses how parents, partners, and loved ones can support struggling men without falling into cycles of resentment, nagging, or overfunctioning. In this episode: Why loneliness and isolation can become a self-reinforcing cycle

What’s going on with young men? In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon sits down with Connor to unpack the rise of looksmaxxing and what it might reveal about a much bigger problem: young men feeling increasingly lost, lonely, angry, and unsure of what they’re supposed to be working toward. They explore how dating apps, social media, changing career paths, AI, rising costs, and the breakdown of traditional milestones have made it harder to see a clear path forward. When the old formula of “work hard, build a career, find a partner, buy a home” feels increasingly out of reach, online communities can offer something incredibly appealing: a game you can actually win. From looksmaxxing and “mogging” to self-improvement content and extreme appearance optimization, Kibby and Connor discuss why these movements can feel empowering at first—and how they can turn toxic when optimization replaces real connection, purpose, and growth. They also dig into the uncomfortable reality behind the quick fixes social media sells us: building a meaningful life is usually slower, messier, and much less algorithm-friendly. If you love someone who is struggling with their mental health, KulaMind provides tools, education, and support to help you care for them without losing yourself in the process.

One minute, you’re the person who understands them better than anyone. The next, you’re the enemy. What causes that sudden shift? In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon explains what’s commonly called “splitting” in borderline personality disorder (BPD), why intense emotions can lead someone to see themselves or the people they love as all good or all bad, and what’s happening psychologically when that shift occurs. She also breaks down what loved ones can actually do in the moment, including how to stay grounded, validate emotions without agreeing with hurtful behavior, set boundaries, and avoid getting pulled into the same cycle. Pasted text (2) If you love someone with BPD, intense emotions, mental illness, or addiction and you’re trying to support them without losing yourself in the process, this episode is for you. Learn more about KulaMind and support for loved ones at KulaMind

What is social media actually doing to our personalities, relationships, and sense of self? Dr. Kibby McMahon sits down with social media strategist and Pugs Media founder Connor Flannery to explore the psychology of growing up online. They talk about why negative comments can affect us so deeply, how parasocial relationships can become a substitute for real connection, what happens to empathy when our interactions happen through screens, and why social media may reward traits like narcissism and social climbing. Connor also shares his experience building an audience that generates hundreds of millions of views, how online criticism once pushed him to step away from YouTube, and why he now recommends that creators stop reading their comment sections. They also explore a bigger question: when followers, likes, views, and social status can all be quantified, does social media fundamentally change the way we see ourselves and other people? In this episode: • Why negative comments feel disproportionately powerful • Parasocial relationships and one-sided connection • How the internet may be changing empathy • Why online interactions can feel like “junk food” for relationships • The psychology of influencers and creators • Narcissism, status, and the numbers behind social media • How growing up online can shape identity and self-esteem Learn more about KulaMind: https://www.kulamind.com