Show Notes
S1 E16 – Unraveling Cassandra - This episode is a powerful meditation on truth, belonging, and the slow work of integration. She reminds us that identity isn’t rebuilt overnight—and that learning who you are is often a lifelong process, especially when the truth arrives after everything else is already in motion.
Cassandra’s story begins on what she calls her “re-birthday”—the night a DNA test revealed the truth about her origins and quietly dismantled everything she thought she knew about herself. What followed wasn’t a single moment of realization, but years of unraveling, re-integration, and learning how to live honestly inside a body that suddenly held a different history.
In this deeply reflective conversation, Kara and Cassandra explore how donor conception, secrecy, and late discovery reshape identity—not just intellectually, but emotionally, relationally, and culturally.
SHOW NOTES Kara and Cassandra discuss: The shock of realizing the story of her conception was never disclosed Navigating parental secrecy and the emotional aftermath of planned silence Meeting her genetic father and donor-conceived siblings The life changing impact of learning she is half Ashkenazi Jewish Grief for a cultural inheritance hidden from your childhood—and the pull to reclaim it Rebuilding identity after truth arrives late
Cassandra speaks with care for everyone involved, even as she names the cost of secrecy and delayed truth.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
More from Unraveling Me
S1 E51 - Unraveling Chris & Mary Chris grew up knowing he was adopted—and knowing his genetic family. His parents shared celebrations, built relationships with one another, and made room for everyone in his life. He calls it “integrated adoption.” But even with that openness and connection, Chris struggled with feeling slightly different everywhere he went. Recognizing the grief connected to his adoption brought a question he hadn’t known how to ask: “Is it okay that I feel this way?” His raising mother, Mary, answered without hesitation: “Of course it’s okay.”
S1 E50 - Unraveling Corey & Kendall Kendall always knew he was adopted. His parents welcomed his questions, and when his adoptive mother died, his father showed him the name he’d been given at birth. Kendall was ten. He searched through phone books, library records, and adoption registries, and petitioned the court three times for his sealed records. Years of dead ends left him believing he might never find his genetic family.
S1 E49 - Unraveling Stephanie Stephanie’s story is about what happens when a lifelong search for roots finally begins. It is also a reminder that success does not always mean finding every answer. Sometimes it means discovering where you come from, building relationships along the way, and finding the courage to keep searching. Stephanie was adopted at three years old from a Mother Teresa orphanage in India and raised in a white Catholic family on Long Island. She always knew she was adopted, but for most of her life, she gave little thought to the identity, culture, and history she had lost.
S1 E48 Unraveling Tom J Tom Junod has spent much of his career investigating other people’s lives. His profile of Fred Rogers inspired the film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and his essay The Falling Man became one of the most recognized pieces of writing about 9/11. But in his memoir, In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man, Tom turns that investigative lens on his own family.
S1E47 Unraveling MP MP grew up feeling like the odd person out. He looked different from his brothers, struggled to connect with the man he believed was his father, and was repeatedly reminded that his interests, personality, and appearance did not fit the rest of his family. At 13, he unexpectedly learned that his parents had married after he was born. That first crack in the family story left him wondering what else he had not been told.