Your Child's Nervous System Is Already Preparing for Back to School | #33
The Mindful Toolbox: A series dedicated to mental and emotional wellbeingShow Notes
"We had such a hard year last year. We can't have another one that's the same." "There's a buzz in the house this week, and it's not a good one." "It's like he's allergic to school." If any of that sounds familiar, and school hasn't even started yet, this episode explains why. I unpack the research behind why children's nervous systems start reacting to September before September arrives, drawing on Lisa Feldman Barrett's work on the predictive brain and Bruce Perry's framework of rhythm, regulation, and relationships.
I also explain why it's important to retire the phrase "school refusal" in favour of language that reflects what's actually happening: the child cannot attend, not that they are choosing not to. This episode covers: — Why the brain runs simulations of the future based on past experience, and what that means for a child heading into a difficult September — The difference between a child who's a bit more volatile this week and a child in a genuinely fragile place — 4 practical things parents can do this week: building rhythm, holding off on the school conversation, low pressure exposure to the school environment, and regulating your own nervous system first — Why full attendance in week one isn't the right goal, and what a more realistic one looks like This is the appetiser before the full EBSNA deep dive landing September 10. If your child struggled with attendance last year, or you're just bracing for the unknown, start here. The Mindful Toolbox is for parents of 11 to 18 year olds navigating neurodiversity, executive function challenges, and the pressure of school. Hosted by Sarahlynn, specialist educator, CBT practitioner, and IEFCC Level 1 Executive Function Coach (Enhanced), Connections in Mind. New listener? This one pairs directly with the EBSNA episode landing September 10, links in show notes once it's live.
More from The Mindful Toolbox: A series dedicated to mental and emotional wellbeing
Mock results are back. And if the grade doesn’t match the child you know, this one’s for you. Most parents read mock results as a verdict. They’re not. They’re a diagnostic tool. Once you know how to read them, the next three to five months look completely different. In this episode: why the mock format specifically disadvantages neurodivergent and anxious brains even when they’ve done the work. The Pygmalion Effect How to Unlock the power of Mock Exams Three things the result is telling you that the grade isn’t. The conversation to have tonight. And three questions to ask school.
After 10 years of working with families through exam season, the advice I keep giving is the opposite of what parents expect. In this episode I share three things that will support your child's performance more than any extra revision session in the weeks before a high-stakes exam. We cover the two-week rule: why reducing revision is more effective than cramming. Why your nervous system state is uploading directly to your child's brain and what to do about it. And the after-exam conversation that nobody has but that makes the biggest difference for anxious and neurodivergent learners. This one is for 11 Plus, pre-ISEB, GCSE mocks, or anything that feels high-stakes right now. Resources at betteringyouth.co.uk/mindful-toolbox-podcast-resources
Someone said to me this week: "I don't understand EBSNA. School isn't optional. Why aren't parents just sending their kids in?" And I had to sit with that before I could answer. Because the honest answer is: it's not black and white. In this episode, I walk you through what Emotional Based School Non-Attendance actually is, why forcing attendance can make things significantly worse, and the three safeguarding risks that sit at the heart of this, including the one between your child and you that almost nobody talks about. I also give you a framework for working out whether what you're seeing is a September transition blip or something that needs professional support, plus two things you can start doing this week that protect the most important thing: your relationship with your child. If your child has mentioned self-harm or not wanting to be here, please call your GP.
Every parent wants their child to rest over summer. And every parent of a neurodivergent child is quietly worried that six weeks off will undo a year of hard-won progress. Both feelings are right. And the answer isn't a revision timetable or a brain-training app. In this episode, I break down what the summer slide actually is and why, for ND learners, the real loss isn't academic content. It's the working memory, the routine, and the executive function skills that took all year to build. I cover the three things quietly shrinking your child's capacity right now (the structure loss, the sleep drift, and the motivation gap), and three fixes that actually work, including Bruce Perry's pattern regulation principle and why one daily anchor beats a whole schedule. No revision timetable. No pressure. Just three things to have front of mind before September arrives.
"She's lazy, she only does things she's interested in." "He knows the work, but the minute it's an exam, it just disappears." "She just won't start." "His teachers say he's capable. So why is it a battle every night?"