Show Notes
You want sex. You care about your relationship. But when things actually start to happen… something shifts. You get in your head. You feel anxious, disconnected, or unsure of yourself. And sometimes, you walk away wondering why it didn’t feel as good as you hoped—or even feeling shame or guilt. In this episode, I’m joined by sex therapist and Certified IFS Therapist, Patricia Rich, to unpack what’s really going on beneath that experience. Because it’s not just about libido. And it’s not something you can fix by trying harder or “being more confident.” We’re diving into how different “parts” of you can take over during sex—pulling you out of the moment, creating tension, and leaving you feeling disconnected from your own desire. Once you understand this, everything starts to make a lot more sense. 💡 What You’ll Learn Why anxiety shows up during sex (even when you genuinely want it) How “parts” of you can override your desire and create inner conflict The difference between being present vs. going on autopilot during sex Why you might feel regret or disconnection afterward A simple way to start reconnecting with yourself in the moment
Chapters 00:00 Introduction to IFS and Sex Therapy 02:45 Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS) 05:34 Exploring Parts in Sexuality 08:27 Vulnerability and Intimacy in Relationships 11:22 Self-Led Sexuality and Awareness 14:12 Curiosity and Differentiating Parts 17:05 Practical Application of IFS in Sexuality 23:21 Exploring Vulnerability and Playfulness 25:41 Navigating Safety and Judgment in Relationships 28:07 Understanding Parts and Their Needs 32:13 The Complexity of Human Emotions 36:28 Communication and Vulnerability in Relationships 41:06 The Goldilocks Approach to Therapy 44:58 Training and Resources for IFS in Sexuality 👩⚕️ About the Guest Patricia Rich is a sex therapist and certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and consultant. She specializes in helping people understand their inner world so they can experience more connection, clarity, and ease in their relationships and sex lives. 🔗 Learn more about Patricia’s work: https://patriciarich.com (update if needed based on exact link you prefer) Want Help Applying This? If this episode resonated with you, there are a couple ways to go deeper: 🔥 Take the Free Quiz Find out what’s actually keeping you stuck: 👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com 💫 Work With Me If you’re ready for personalized support, my Pathway to Passion coaching program helps you reconnect with your desire, improve communication, and create a sex life that actually feels good again. 👉 https://HeatherShannon.co 🎧 Loved This Episode? Make sure you’re following the show so you don’t miss future episodes on emotional intimacy, desire, and building a better sex life in your relationship.
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