When ADHD mistakes spiral and resentment hits (Reddit Reactions)

Your partner has rehearsed this conversation 10 times. You’re walking in at one. No wonder it goes sideways. Dani Burford doesn’t have ADHD, but her husband, Sean, does, along with OCD tendencies. Dani, who works in marketing at Understood.org, joins Cate for a casual, practical conversation about the systems that help them stay on the same team. She explains how they use things like the “care meter,” a 1-to-10 rating that ends three-hour debates about paint colors, the mess monster, and who takes the blame for last night’s dishes. And why asking “What script did you write for me?” can calm a worst-case spiral. Dani and Cate explain the importance of talking about how you talk, the benefits of putting time limits on hard talks, and why alone time doesn’t mean “I don’t want to be with you.” They also discuss what to do when your way of getting things done doesn’t work for your partner’s brain — and why it’s rarely about you.

Research shows that girls with ADHD are significantly more likely to experience intimate partner violence.

Kink isn’t required to get something real out of a power dynamic. And for ADHD brains, it might be more than you’d expect

In this episode, a complex conversation about ADHD, femininity, gender, and why talking about the hard stuff is important.

We recorded our first-ever live show in front of a studio audience! Emmy Award–winning writer, director, and producer Adam Reid, co-creator of “Tiny Chef,” joined Cate to talk about ADHD creativity: what works, what doesn’t, when to dig in, when to let things go, and why finishing things isn't always the point.