Ep. 27: Behind the Mask: A Circus Performer's Path to Healing with Faegann Harlow

When Renee Spillane had a massage that left her feeling “alive” and “untouchable,” she didn’t know it would change the course of her life. She quit her stable job, trained as a massage therapist, and discovered that the real work wasn’t about fixing muscles—it was about listening to what the body was storing. This is a story about how grief, fear, and unprocessed emotions live in our tissues, and how a skilled practitioner can help bring them to the surface. It’s about learning to trust the wisdom in your body, honoring your own unique healing path, and discovering that sometimes the greatest gift you can receive is simply being seen. Episode Overview In this conversation, I sit down with Renee Spillane, an energy healing massage therapist from Adelaide, South Australia, who specializes in working with women through all stages of womanhood—from pregnancy and motherhood to grief and beyond. Renee walks us through her unexpected journey into massage therapy, the profound personal experience of her son’s medical journey that taught her about grief, and how she learned to trust the intuitive information she receives while working with clients. We explore how physical symptoms often point to emotional roots, how different areas of the body hold different emotions, and why the most powerful healing happens when we bring awareness to what our bodies are storing. Renee shares stories from her practice—of women carrying fear in their hips, grief in their shoulders, and the resistance that comes when we’re not ready to hear the truth.

Stacey spent her career inside healthcare. She knew the language, the protocols, the system… But when her body began to collapse, she was still dismissed, gaslit, and told to see a psychiatrist when imaging clearly showed she had a stroke. This is an episode on what it takes to keep going when no one believes you, about the exhaustion of advocating for yourself over and over, and about the courage it takes to keep going—even when you don’t have all the answers.

When Teresa Hobbs was left bed-bound after a minor fender bender, she couldn’t be near a computer, read a book, or even receive a phone call without blacking out. Her world had shrunk to staring at the texture on her ceiling, searching for shapes to comfort her. This is a story about what happens when you stop fighting your symptoms and start listening to the mechanism behind them—when you realize that the brain can get stuck on a loop, perpetuating danger signals long after the threat is gone. It’s about learning to dance with panic, to accept the unacceptable, and to discover that healing isn’t about eliminating intensity—it’s about expanding your capacity to be with it. Episode Overview In this conversation, I sit down with Teresa Hobbs, a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, Pain Reprocessing Therapy Practitioner, and Safe and Sound Protocol Provider from Utah. Teresa walks us through her decades-long journey with chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), from early warning signs in her twenties to a catastrophic nervous system crash in 2014 that left her bed-bound for years. We explore the shame of being told her illness was “in her head,” the relentless pursuit of fixing herself, and the pivotal moment when she learned to stop trying so hard. Teresa shares the neuroplastic understanding that chronic symptoms are often the brain’s stuck danger signals, and introduces practical tools like somatic tracking for rewiring. We discuss codependency, attachment, the window of tolerance, and why the most radical act of healing is often simply accepting yourself where you are—without judgment. What You’ll Discover * The fender bender that fractured her nervous system and left her bedbound for years. * Why her brain would black out from reading, phone calls, or even positive daydreams. * The painful experience of family members labeling her illness as “getting a payoff” or “all in her head.” * How trying too hard to heal—five hours of meditation a day, rigid protocols—actually impeded her recovery. * The liberating invitation: “You don’t have to work so hard to heal.” * Understanding neuroplastic symptoms: how the brain perpetuates danger signals long after the initial trigger. * Somatic tracking: meeting sensations with curiosity and non-judgment. * Why pain reprocessing therapy works best when symptoms are between a 1 and 5—and when to just take the medication. * The connection between codependency, attachment disruption, and chronic illness. * How learning to tolerate panic transformed her life—and gave her the courage to live fully. Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction & The Big Question of the Podcast 02:00 - Welcoming Teresa Hobbs from Utah 04:00 - The Early Warning Signs: Fatigue in 2003 06:00 - The Fender Bender That Fractured Her Nervous System 08:00 - Bedbound and Blacking Out: The Most Terrifying Period 10:00 - Family Members Who Said It Was “All in Her Head” 12:00 - The Fixing Mindset: Five Hours of Meditation a Day 14:00 - “You Don’t Have to Work So Hard to Heal” — A Pivot Point 16:00 - Moving Out of Her Parents’ House and Into Healing 18:00 - Physical Stressors: Cavitation Surgery and Upper Cervical Chiropractic 20:00 - The Last Piece: Panic and Learning to Stop Avoiding 22:00 - Dancing with Panic: “I Dared It to Get as Big as It Needed to Get” 25:00 - Codependency and Chronic Illness: “I’m Not Okay Unless You’re Okay” 28:00 - Neuroplastic Symptoms: How the Brain Gets Stuck on Danger Signals 30:00 - Pain Reprocessing Therapy and Somatic Tracking 33:00 - The Safe and Sound Protocol: Training the Ear to Hear Safety 35:00 - Expanding the Window of Tolerance: Healing as Capacity Building 38:00 - Who Has Her Illness Invited Teresa to Become? 40:00 - Teresa’s Coaching, Groups, and Resources

When Kassondra Walters was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, she was told the standard protocol: eight rounds of IV chemo, radiation, and five years of hormone therapy. But something in her body said no. This is a story about what happens when you stop letting fear drive your decisions and start listening to the quiet, unwavering voice of intuition. It’s about the courage to walk a path no one else is walking, to trust that your body is your ally, not your enemy, and to discover that healing is not about following an algorithm—it’s about coming home to yourself. Episode Overview In this conversation, I sit down with Kassondra Walters, an indigenous entrepreneur, yoga teacher, Reiki master, and survivor from Ontario, Canada. Kassondra walks us through her journey from a lifetime of autopilot and hypervigilance to the moment her body screamed for her attention with a lump in her breast. We explore her decision to decline conventional treatment after surgery, the fear and pushback she faced from the medical system, and the deep inner work that led her to trust her own knowing. Kassondra shares the pivotal moments—the cardinals that appeared after surgery, the acupuncturist who asked “What are you doing for Kassondra?”—that reset her compass. We discuss the emotional releases stored in the body, the power of returning to indigenous ways of knowing, and what it means to live with rather than just manage illness. 🌿 What You’ll Discover * The moment her body screamed for attention—right before she was to step into her mission. * Why she went vegan, stopped drinking alcohol, and returned to hot yoga before she even had a diagnosis. * The surgery that felt like a rebirth—and the grief of family who didn’t show up. * The cardinal moment: how ancestors sent a sign that she would be okay. * Sitting with the oncologist: “What’s the percentage you’re reducing risk by?” and choosing to focus on the 70%. * The shift in treatment when she declined chemo—and the doctor whose tone changed. * The acupuncturist’s pivotal question: “You’ve done a lot for your cancer. What are you doing for Kassondra?” * Emotional releases stored in the body: craniosacral therapy, meridians, and the pain that came up at the breast cancer point. * Why she left the cancer care program—not because she’s cancer-free, but because she doesn’t want what they’re offering. * The ongoing teaching: falling off the wagon, meeting yourself with compassion, and returning to presence. ⏳ Timestamps 00:00 - Kassondra’s Opening: “I’m Grateful for My Illness” 01:00 - Introduction & The Big Question of the Podcast 03:00 - Welcoming Kassondra Walters from Ontario, Canada 05:00 - The Summer of 2022: When Her Body First Started Speaking 08:00 - Two Terminations and a Mental Health Crisis 10:00 - The Night Before: Finding the Lump 12:00 - Fighting to Get Into the Medical System 14:00 - The Diagnosis Call in the Bathroom 16:00 - The Death Journey and “I’m Not Done” 18:00 - Surgery as Rebirth and the Family Who Didn’t Call 22:00 - The Cardinals: Ancestral Signs That She Would Be Okay 25:00 - The Pathology: Microscopic Cells in One Lymph Node 28:00 - Sitting with the Oncologist: “I Want to Focus on the 70%” 32:00 - The Doctor Whose Tone Shifted 35:00 - Discovering Radical Remission and Finding Hope 38:00 - The Five Months Off: Creating a New Lifestyle 42:00 - The Center for Health Innovation and Listening to Practitioners 45:00 - The Acupuncturist’s Question: “What Are You Doing for Kassondra?” 48:00 - Emotional Releases in Craniosacral Therapy 52:00 - The Biopsy She Wished She Hadn’t Done 55:00 - The Final Appointment: Rage, Powerlessness, and Walking Away 58:00 - Living Chronic Faith: Choosing Joy and Connection 01:02:00 - Falling Off the Wagon: Compassion and Returning to Presence 01:05:00 - Who Has Her Illness Invited Kassondra to Become? 💫 Guest Information & Links Connect with Kassondra Walters: * Instagram: @alchemistelevating * Website: https://kdmanagementconsulting.ca

When Allison Hampton was diagnosed with lupus, Sjogren’s, fibromyalgia, and arthritis, she realized she had been speaking negatively about her body—saying it wasn’t on her team, that it was fighting her. But then came the revelation: her body had been compensating for her, running on a backup generator for years until she could figure out what was wrong. Even when she didn’t know what she needed, her body kept showing up. This is a story about reframing our relationship with illness, reclaiming our identity from our activity, and discovering that a chronically ill body is not a downgrade—it’s just different. Episode Overview In this conversation, I sit down with Allison Hampton, a Christian speaker, playwright, author, and life coach from Indianapolis, Indiana. Allison walks us through her journey of receiving four chronic autoimmune diagnoses—lupus, Sjogren’s syndrome, fibromyalgia, and arthritis—after two years of being dismissed by doctors. We explore the painful process of learning to trust herself again, the importance of firing doctors who won’t listen, and the sacred practice of managing wellness. Allison shares her revelation that “your body is your friend,” the power of grief and gratitude coexisting, and how she learned to stop associating her identity with her activity. We also discuss the creation of her nonprofit, Living Chronic Faith, which builds community for those navigating chronic illness and their support systems. 🌿 What You’ll Discover * The two-year journey to diagnosis and the self-doubt that comes from being dismissed by doctors. * Why you are the expert on your body—and how to reclaim that authority. * The revelation that changed everything: “Your body is your friend, not your enemy.” * Why grief and gratitude can coexist—you don’t have to choose one or the other. * The danger of associating your identity with your activity, and what remains when activity falls away * How a tetanus shot triggered temporary paralysis and became a turning point in her healing. * The snowman vs. racetrack eight: adapting without losing the essence of the thing. * Why chronic illness requires a faith as chronic as the diagnosis (Living Chronic Faith). * How a late-night conversation with a grieving nurse revealed that even from a hospital bed, she could still help. * The power of community, virtual gatherings, and having things to look forward to. ⏳ Timestamps 00:00 - Allison’s Opening: “Your Body is Your Friend” 01:00 - Introduction & The Big Question of the Podcast 03:00 - Welcoming Allison Hampton from Indianapolis 05:00 - The Two-Year Journey: Being Dismissed by Doctors 08:00 - Firing the Doctor and Reclaiming Self-Trust 12:00 - The Lupus Support Group and the Physician Who Walked Both Sides 15:00 - “My Baseline Pain is a Five” — Communicating Chronic Pain to Loved Ones 18:00 - Boundaries, Spoons, and Power Save Mode 22:00 - The Revelation: Your Body Has Been Faithful to You 25:00 - Grief and Gratitude Can Coexist 28:00 - The Tetanus Shot That Triggered Temporary Paralysis 32:00 - The Snowman vs. The Racetrack: Learning to Adapt 35:00 - Chronic Illness as Identity Theft — And How to Reclaim Yourself 40:00 - The Hospital Room Conversation with a Grieving Nurse 45:00 - Living Chronic Faith: The Nonprofit and Its Mission 50:00 - Virtual Gatherings, Bingo, and Having Things to Look Forward To 55:00 - The Sepsis and Respiratory Failure: Revisiting Square One 58:00 - “Do the Thing” — Fill the Gap Only You Can Fill 01:02:00 - Who Has Her Illness Invited Allison to Become? 💫 Guest Information & Links Connect with Allison Hampton: * Website: www.livingchronicfaith.com → for information on the community, workshops, and other resources * YouTube: Living Chronic Faith channel * Instagram: www.instagram.com/livingchronicfaith * Book: Chronic Faith (available now)