Show Notes
What if the reason so many ambitious women feel torn about motherhood isn’t because they have to choose… but because no one has shown them how both can actually work?
In this episode of The Balance Theory, Erika sits down with psychologist and friend (and her first guest ever on the show) Nancy Sokarno, to unpack the real, unfiltered experience of becoming a working mum - beyond the surface-level advice and societal expectations.
This conversation explores the identity shift that comes with motherhood, the internal conflict high-achieving women often face, and the uncomfortable truths that aren’t spoken about enough: from grief and resentment to guilt and pressure to “do it all.”
But more importantly, it reframes the narrative.
This isn’t about choosing between ambition and family. It’s about understanding what needs to evolve within you to hold both. Whether you’re planning to become a mum, navigating early motherhood, or trying to build a life that includes both career and family, this episode will give you a deeper perspective on what that actually requires.
💭 What We Cover:
Why motherhood is an identity evolution, not just a new role
The internal pressure to be the “perfect” mother — and how to let it go
Why high-achieving women often struggle more in early motherhood
Grieving your old self while stepping into a new version of you
The truth about resentment, guilt, and relationship shifts after a baby
How to communicate better with your partner before and after becoming parents
Why asking for help is harder than it sounds (and how to shift this)
The reality of becoming a working mum — and why simple things feel harder
What ambition looks like after motherhood — and how it changes
The key mindset shift that allows you to build both a career and a family
You don’t go backwards after becoming a mother, you evolve.
The version of you that’s capable of holding both ambition and motherhood isn’t the old you… it’s the next version of you.
LINKS
💧 CURE HYDRATION - Use code “BALANCETHEORY” to get 20% off
⚪ KINSYN - Use code "BALANCETHEORY" to get 20% off
CONNECT
📸 Instagram
🎥 Original Nancy episode
TIME STAMPS (01:36) Introduction
(07:47) Motherhood: Role change or identity reconstruction?
(13:10) Work you do before becoming a mother
(17:46) Grieving our old selves
(22:45) Understanding resentment
(27:53) Conversation starters for couples before a baby
(31:14) Asking for help
(36:58) Working Mum
(46:02) What skills in high performing women work against them when becoming mums?
(52:04) One thing all parents should know
WHO AM I?
I’m Erika, an Australian living in Dubai, a mum and the creator and host of this podcast. After almost a decade in law, I’ve stepped into a new chapter centred on what I love - helping people understand themselves, grow and build lives that feel aligned. As someone with big ambitions, I’m passionate about pursuing what matters and to do so, we need to create our own lives intentionally. This channel is a space for honest conversations, curiosity and practical tools to support that journey. Welcome - I’m glad you’re here.
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