Coaching with Heart: Bob Shillinglaw on Emotion and Strategy

Bob Shillinglaw on Coaching Longevity, Mental Training, and Caring Leadership

We believe that there is no algorithm for leadership. So we ask the world's great coaches how they do it.

Retired after 43 years of college coaching (39 at the University of Delaware), Bob Shillinglaw reflects on how early experiences in sports—including competing against Bill Belichick and attending a camp coached by Belichick’s father—shaped his desire to coach. He describes choosing UNC, breaking into college coaching through low-paid roles while earning a master’s in sports psychology, and jump-starting Delaware’s program, including building alumni support and helping grow lacrosse statewide. Shillinglaw shares leadership lessons on integrating daily mental training (goals, visualization, reframing negative thoughts), applying consistent discipline, managing emotion on game day, communicating with players and staff, being empathetic and available off the field, and striving to be present with family despite the “coaching stare.” If you would like to send us any feedback or if you know a great coach, who has a unique story to share, then we would love to hear from you, please contact us at [email protected] and if you would like to receive our newsletter with 5 ideas to help you improve your leadership, then sign up at: https://thegreatcoaches.beehiiv.com/subscribe

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