Show Notes
Adam Young, licensed clinical social worker and author of Make Sense of Your Story, brings a compassionate and clarifying lens to why our past continues to shape how we date, desire, and attach. Rather than asking us to summarize our whole life from a distance, Adam invites us to pay attention to the particular memories, relational patterns, bodily responses, and places of pain that have formed us. For anyone longing for honest, connected love, this conversation helps name what it really looks like. There is a meaningful tension here: our bodies are telling the truth, but not always the whole truth about the present moment. Attraction, fear, shame, and longing are not random, and they are not problems to simply overcome. They are often invitations to listen with more kindness to what our lived experience has carried, so that we can respond with greater clarity instead of simply reenacting what feels familiar. Adam’s framework centers on the integrity of looking at our own story with compassion, not contempt. Healing is not a finish line we cross before we become ready for love, but an ongoing formation of how we relate to our heart, our body, our wounds, and our desire. The real question becomes whether we and the people we date are willing to keep looking, keep repairing, and keep moving toward wholeness together. What to pay attention to is not whether someone has a perfect story, but whether they can engage their story honestly. Can they stay present with emotion? Can they receive a small vulnerability with care? Can they notice a pattern without turning away or becoming cruel? These are the places where dating becomes discernment, where clarity deepens, and where self-trust has room to grow.
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About Adam Young Adam Young is a therapist who focuses on trauma and abuse, the host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast, and the author of Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past With Kindness Changes Everything. Adam is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with a Master degree in Social Work (Virginia Commonwealth University) and Divinity (Emory University). He currently serves as a Fellow and Instructor at The Allender Center and lives in Fort Collins, CO, where he enjoys skiing, soccer, and mountain biking.
Connect with Adam Website Instagram Adam's Book, Make Sense of Your StoryWant help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need:
🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → RECLAIM Cohort 📓 Free Guides and Ecourse → Instagram → Website
💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Book a Dating Clarity Call We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing → Instagram → Website
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