Show Notes
There’s a point in the year, sometime after the clocks change and the air cools, when everything in me starts to shift gears. Not in a big dramatic way. More like an exhale I didn’t realise I was holding. The sun barely clears the horizon before it’s on its way down again, and I feel that pull inward. A sense that it’s time to quieten things down. It’s in that stretch between late autumn and early winter that I start preparing, not in the frantic, pre-Christmas way, but in a softer, steadier rhythm. A slow return to the essentials. The kind of preparation that says you don’t need to brace — you just need to be ready to rest. Creating a Home That Welcomes Winter In I always start with the space itself. Our flat is small, and once winter sets in, we’re in it together, both literally and figuratively. So I start by making room. Not for more stuff, but for the season itself. I clear surfaces. Tuck away the remnants of summer. Shift furniture ever so slightly to make space for what we’ll actually be doing, more reading, more snuggling, more long afternoons that never seem to get light. The blankets come out. I do a quick sweep of the kitchen, not for aesthetic reasons, but because we’re about to spend a lot more time there, stirring pots and making endless cups of herbal tea or coffe. I check the pantry for the staples that make winter cooking feel effortless: dried herbs, oats, tinned tomatoes, cinnamon. Essentially the building blocks of slow food. And I do a little mental check-in: Will this space carry us well through the colder days? Can we stretch out in it without bumping into stress? That’s really the goal. Not perfection. Just ease. Winter Is a Mindset Once the physical space starts to feel more settled, I turn inward. Because winter, for me, anyway, isn’t about ticking off tasks. It’s about allowing a different kind of rhythm. A softer one. It’s when I stop expecting myself to run at the same speed as I did in the light-filled months of spring and summer. This season has a weight to it, but not in a bad way. It just asks more gently. It doesn’t push. It doesn’t shout. It simply says, you can go slower now. And so I listen. I pare back the calendar. I loosen my grip on what I thought I “should” be doing. I let mornings be slower. I let plans fall away without guilt. I look for what feels necessary — and what I can leave until spring. Home Education, But Softer Our home ed rhythm changes, too. The content doesn’t disappear but the delivery does. It becomes lighter and less about checking boxes, more about leaning into curiosity. We bring blankets to the floor and learn from under them. The world outside slows down, and I try to let our learning reflect that. I’m not trying to force productivity when everything around us is asking for presence instead. Some of the richest conversations we’ve had have come from cold walks, a cup of hot chocolate and a question asked out of nowhere. I make room for those moments, because they don’t happen when we’re rushing. The Subtle Work of Tuning Inward There’s a kind of quiet personal work that surfaces at this time of year, a re-evaluation that happens naturally if you give it enough silence to rise. I don’t plan it. It just arrives. This is when I start asking different questions. Not “What’s next?” but “What do I actually need?” Not “How do I do more?” but “What’s quietly asking to be let go of?” I give myself the time to reflect, to notice what’s feeling heavy and what might not need to come with me into the new year. This kind of reflection doesn’t look impressive. It’s not always neat. But it clears mental space the same way tidying a shelf does. And it prepares me far more than any to-do list ever could. Holding Space for the Messy Bits Of course, it’s not all serene candlelight and cosy corners. Winter can bring up resistance. The stillness can feel itchy. The early darkness can feel suffocating. The quiet can be loud in its own way. And I think it matters to say that. Winter can
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There are some things I used to compromise on without really noticing and I would explain them away as nothing more than practicality. Listen, I don’t think all compromise is bad because obviously it isn’t and sometimes life requires compromise… none of us are moving through life getting exactly what we want at every moment. But slowly, over the past few years, I have started to realise that some of the compromises I was making weren’t neutral meaning they were costing me something.
I think one of the most grounding things seasonal living has taught me is that not every season asks the same thing from us, and I don’t just mean the seasons outside the window, although I do mean those too. I mean the quieter seasons of our lives, the less obvious ones, the seasons of holding things together, of building. The seasons of rest, of tending, recovering, recalibrating, waiting, grieving, beginning again. The seasons that don’t arrive neatly on a calendar like the actual seasons, but still shape the way we move through our days.
I think one of the most uncomfortable parts of living intentionally is realising that your life might stop making sense to other people and that’s not because you’re doing anything wrong and it’s not because they are doing anything wrong either, but because difference, when it is lived honestly, has a way of unsettling the stories people carry about what a good life is supposed to look like. There is an unspoken expectation in modern life that our choices should be broadly recognisable. Ideally, they should also be explainable. If we choose something different around work, family, home, ambition, money, education or pace, we are often expected to justify it in a way that reassures other people we haven’t made a terrible mistake, it’s as though our lives need to pass some kind of public approval test before we are allowed to feel settled inside them. But life doesn’t need to be universally appealing to be deeply right for you, in fact, it only needs to be coherent to the person living it snd this is something I have had to learn slowly, and sometimes uncomfortably, over the years. I live a life that many people wouldn’t choose; I home educate my children, I live in a small, 650sq ft home by choice, I centre my days around home, rhythm, presence and ordinary life rather than constant expansion, I identify as a homemaker and I have opted out, where I can, from certain forms of pace, productivity and visibility. Not as a rejection of modern life entirely and certainly not because I think everyone should live like me, but because this is how I stay well inside the life I am actually living. And those choices are not meant to be persuasive (a very common assumption) they are simply mine and I speak to those who either associate with this way of living too, or desire to live in a similar way. I think that is where so much unnecessary tension begins. We assume that when someone makes a different choice, they must be making a statement about ours. * If someone home educates, it can be read as a criticism of school. * If someone stays in a small home, it can be read as a rejection of ambition. * If someone chooses a slower pace, it can be read as laziness. * If someone centres home, family or care, it can be read as regressive, especially for women, whose choices are so often treated as public property and moral declarations rather than personal decisions. But someone else’s inability to imagine themselves in your life is not a verdict on yours; it just means they wouldn’t choose it, it is that simple. And it’s also fine, they don’t have to. I wouldn’t choose lots of other people’s lives either. I can scroll through Instagram and see all sorts of lifestyles that make me think, “Absolutely not for me, thank you kindly”, but I don’t need to announce that in the comments section like a woman holding a clipboard at the gates of acceptable living, because it isn’t my life. And this is the bit we seem to forget… not everything needs our approval or agreement and not everything needs to be filtered through the lens of whether we personally would choose it. Sometimes another person’s life can simply exist. When I first started home educating, I noticed this very quickly. I had made the decision before my first child was even born, so it wasn’t sudden or impulsive. It was something we had thought about deeply. It was a long standing choice rooted in our values, our family rhythm and what we wanted for our children and yet even saying that can make people uncomfortable. Because if I say home education is the best choice for my children, some people hear, “School is the wrong choice for yours” and that’s not an assumption, I have literally had this accusation levied at me more than once. But that is of course not what I am saying… I don’t think every child should be home educated and I don’t think every parent has the capacity, desire or circumstances to home educate. I don’t think school is wrong for every child but I do think home education is
I think many of us are exhausted not because our lives are too small, but because we’ve been taught they should always be bigger, better, more remarkable, more productive and more visible.
Opting out is often presented as the answer isn’t it? The way back to yourself or the antidote to burnout. Or even the thing that will finally make life feel manageable again.