Show Notes
S1 E45 - Unraveling Mathew Mathew grew up without a consistent father in his life. In 2013, he took a DNA test simply hoping to learn more about his ancestry. Eight years later, a Facebook message asking whether he was related to someone led him back to those results. His mother refused to tell him the truth. As Mathew built relationships with his new paternal family, his mother and much of his maternal family resisted or minimized his discovery. The resulting estrangement contributed to a severe mental health crisis. Mathew speaks candidly about suicidality, how his wife helped save his life, and how the NPE community helped him begin to heal.
Content note: This episode includes a candid discussion of suicidal thoughts. Please listen with care.
SHOW NOTES In this deeply honest conversation, Kara and Mathew discuss: Growing up without a father figure Returning to DNA results years later A mother’s denial despite clear evidence Finding a genetic father who already knew about him Genetic mirroring and a lifelong love of trucks Maintaining his relationship with the father he had always known Maternal family estrangement and invalidation The impact of his discovery on his wife and children Suicidality, support, and finding help
This is a powerful conversation about fathers, truth, belonging, and the importance of finding people who understand. Mathew’s willingness to speak openly—especially about men’s mental health—reminds us that no one should have to navigate a DNA surprise alone. If you or someone you know needs immediate emotional support, call or text 988. Right to Know also maintains a non crisis hotline 323-825-5673.
Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.
At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.
For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
More from Unraveling Me
S1 E51 - Unraveling Chris & Mary Chris grew up knowing he was adopted—and knowing his genetic family. His parents shared celebrations, built relationships with one another, and made room for everyone in his life. He calls it “integrated adoption.” But even with that openness and connection, Chris struggled with feeling slightly different everywhere he went. Recognizing the grief connected to his adoption brought a question he hadn’t known how to ask: “Is it okay that I feel this way?” His raising mother, Mary, answered without hesitation: “Of course it’s okay.”
S1 E50 - Unraveling Corey & Kendall Kendall always knew he was adopted. His parents welcomed his questions, and when his adoptive mother died, his father showed him the name he’d been given at birth. Kendall was ten. He searched through phone books, library records, and adoption registries, and petitioned the court three times for his sealed records. Years of dead ends left him believing he might never find his genetic family.
S1 E49 - Unraveling Stephanie Stephanie’s story is about what happens when a lifelong search for roots finally begins. It is also a reminder that success does not always mean finding every answer. Sometimes it means discovering where you come from, building relationships along the way, and finding the courage to keep searching. Stephanie was adopted at three years old from a Mother Teresa orphanage in India and raised in a white Catholic family on Long Island. She always knew she was adopted, but for most of her life, she gave little thought to the identity, culture, and history she had lost.
S1 E48 Unraveling Tom J Tom Junod has spent much of his career investigating other people’s lives. His profile of Fred Rogers inspired the film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and his essay The Falling Man became one of the most recognized pieces of writing about 9/11. But in his memoir, In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man, Tom turns that investigative lens on his own family.
S1E47 Unraveling MP MP grew up feeling like the odd person out. He looked different from his brothers, struggled to connect with the man he believed was his father, and was repeatedly reminded that his interests, personality, and appearance did not fit the rest of his family. At 13, he unexpectedly learned that his parents had married after he was born. That first crack in the family story left him wondering what else he had not been told.