Things We Believe: Soul Pets, Ouija Boards & 401(k)s

Camilla shows up in a bad mood and has no intention of pretending otherwise. Breakfast battles with her daughter have officially pushed her over the edge, and Jess wonders if the problem might actually be the parents. They get into morning chaos, natural consequences, and why making your kids smoothies is a rookie mistake.

Jess is filming 9-1-1, so Camilla summoned back a familiar spirit. Kyle K is haunting the studio, answering all your Qs with his signature dose of petty.We start where we probably should have started last time: football Hall of Fame family legacies and casually trying on Super Bowl rings in bars. We get into whether he’s been left on read, his beef with toddler birthdays, and why he truly does not care who trains Madonna. Then, a deep dive into why keeping screenshots from the Stone Age is not only acceptable, but necessary — plus the latest on his sickodis flare-up. Kyle also shares an update from his own self-care journey: he fired his therapist. This can’t be good. Throw in some deeply absurd Halloween Qs, questionable advice, in-house arguing and just enough personal growth to legally call this “self-care” — and we’ve got an episode.

Grey's and 9-1-1: Nashville are BACK, Camilla has a margarita in hand, and Jess may or may not have remembered hers. With both shows returning October 15, the girls are spilling a little behind-the-scenes tea. Is Jo really done with medicine? What's Ryan Phillippe doing in Nashville? And after last season's Battle of the Blondes, is round two on the horizon? Then things get MESSY. A listener catches her brother's fiancée kissing a coworker. Does she tell him? Confront her? Mind her own business? Jess and Camilla have THOUGHTS. Plus, how Grey's actors sneak their lines, what's actually in their makeup bags, why Jess took a razor to her own hair, and her Hot Ones experience. Throw in a kid tossing ice on a plane and Camilla's sports-mom hair bow operation, and we've got ourselves a mailbag. And to the listener with the cheating fiancée situation: WE NEED AN UPDATE.

Thirty years of friendship means there are very few secrets left. Fortunately, and unfortunately, for Jess, Bonnie remembers all of them. This week, one of Jess’s dearest friends from Brown joins us to talk about what actually makes a friendship last three decades, starting with their very first impressions of each other and the inexplicable series of events that landed a 5’5” girl from Los Angeles, with strong Elle-Woods-before-Elle-Woods energy, on Brown’s elite crew team of giants. They get into the secret sauce of their friendship: being game for the adventure, making the hard stuff easy to talk about, and making the people around you feel good. Then we head to late-’90s New York, where they were baby adults navigating the city and Jess’s too-tight leather pants somehow became their secret weapon for getting past the velvet ropes at exclusive nightclubs. And then there’s the small matter of someone earning the nickname “the Kissing Bandit.” Plus: the three words Bonnie thinks describe Jess best after knowing her for 30 years. Come for the college stories. Stay for the friendship advice. And remember: always be game.

Jess and Camilla are on opposite ends of the back-to-school emotional spiral this week: Jess just dropped her son off at college. Camilla just sent hers off to kindergarten. Different-sized backpacks. Same car cry. Then there are the dorm rooms. Apparently, sending your kid to college now includes $20,000 interior design jobs for a room they'll live in for eight months. Camilla calls for a ban. Jess has thoughts. A debate ensues. Also: the Sonny Angels takeover, the tiny plastic creatures currently holding tween girls-and their parents' wallets—hostage. And Camilla unveils her completely reasonable plan for coping when her kids eventually leave home: buy a spy robot and follow them. Healthy! Normal! And next week, Camilla is off filming Grey's Anatomy, which means Jess is bringing in a mystery guest. She's dropping hints. We're saying nothing.