31 Got a Defiant Child? Why Sticker Charts and Bribery Don't Work and What to Try Instead!
Sensory Solutions for Parents - Parenting Tips, Behavior, Regulation, Meltdowns, TantrumsShow Notes
Got a Defiant Child? Why Sticker Charts and Bribery Don't Work and What to Try Instead! Your child isn’t choosing to misbehave, their nervous system might be overriding their motivation to do the right thing in that moment. In this episode, we’re breaking down why "they know better" so often falls apart in the moment it matters, what's actually happening in a child's brain during a meltdown or a power struggle, and why sticker charts and consequences fail when a child's nervous system has already taken the wheel.
💛 In this episode, you'll learn: · Why motivation isn't the problem when your child "won't" listen — and what actually is · The difference between a fight-or-flight meltdown and a freeze/shutdown response, and why both can look like defiance · How to shift from "won't" to "can't right now" without dropping your boundaries · Practical, sensory-first strategies: co-regulating before correcting, catching dysregulation early, and teaching skills only once your child is calm enough to learn
💛 Next Steps: Step 1: Join our free Facebook community and connect with other parents who are learning to understand behavior through a sensory and nervous system lens. Step 2: Subscribe to the podcast for upcoming episodes in the Sensory Solutions Framework series as we continue exploring how the sensory system shapes behavior. Step 3: This week, spend a few moments recognizing your own nervous system and regulation, especially in times when your child may be dysregulated. 💛 Related Resources: Dr. Ross Greene: https://drrossgreene.com There are also additional free resources on the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach and the idea that "kids do well if they can." https://livesinthebalance.org 💛 Related Episodes: Episode 10: Struggling with Your Child's Intense Meltdowns? What's Really Happening and What to Do in the Moment Episode 13: Why Your Toddler Falls Apart After Daycare (And What to Do About It!) Episode 22: Does Your Child Have a Behavior Problem…or a Skill Problem? The 5 Skills Behind Better Behavior that Every Parent Needs to Know 💛 Connecting with Us! Connect on FB -> Join our Free Facebook Community Podcast -> Sensory Solutions for Parents Instagram -> @SensorySolutionsforParents
DISCLAIMER This podcast, Sensory Solutions for Parents, is intended for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, occupational therapy, or other professional advice. The host is a licensed occupational therapist; however, the information shared in this podcast is general in nature and may not apply to your specific child or situation. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship between you and Alison Foura, PhD, OTR/L. Any strategies, ideas, or suggestions shared are offered as general support for parents and caregivers and should be used at your own discretion, with consideration for your child’s individual needs and your family’s values. Always seek the guidance of your child’s pediatrician, occupational therapist, or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your child’s development, behavior, or health. This podcast may also include personal experiences and, at times, faith-based perspectives. These are shared as part of Alison’s personal and professional lens and are not intended to replace individualized care or professional guidance.
More from Sensory Solutions for Parents - Parenting Tips, Behavior, Regulation, Meltdowns, Tantrums
Episode 33: Parenting a Child with Extreme Demand Avoidance (PDA)? Why Traditional Discipline Backfires and What to Try Instead! If your child has extreme demand avoidance, you’ve probably discovered that the usual parenting advice doesn’t just fail; it can make things worse. Firmer limits, bigger rewards, and stronger consequences often lead to more resistance, bigger meltdowns, and a family that feels stuck. We talk about why traditional discipline backfires for children with PDA, and offer practical, nervous-system-friendly strategies that lower the sense of threat and build cooperation. Parenting a child with extreme demand avoidance can feel isolating, and you don’t have to figure it out alone. Parent coaching is launching soon. Join the FB community to be the first to know! Join our Free Facebook Community
32 Does your child explode at the simplest ask? The Truth About Pervasive Drive for Autonomy (or PDA) and What Finally Works
Extreme picky eating doesn’t just take one single skill but a whole sequence of smaller skills, and jumping straight to ”just take a bite” skips many of the steps most kids haven’t built yet. We’ll talk about why extreme picky eating is different from typical toddler pickiness, why a new food can genuinely register as a threat to a child’s nervous system and why proper seating and the right environment frees things up in your child’s body for the harder work of trying new foods
Today we’re talking about why toddlers get so “picky” with their eating and why this is one of the most normal, predictable stages of development. We’ll also discuss what’s typical picky eating vs. what’s worth mentioning to your pediatrician, why pressuring your toddler to ”just try one bite” almost always backfires and 5 practical strategies you can start using at tonight’s dinner!
Understanding whether your child is a sensory seeker, a sensory avoider, or a mix of both is one of the most useful tools you can have as a parent — because it changes everything about which strategies will actually help.