The PedsDocTalk Podcast: Child Health, Development & Parenting—From a Pediatrician Mom

ADHD Masking Explained: School Success, Home Struggles, and the Emotional Toll

The PedsDocTalk Podcast: Child Health, Development & Parenting—From a Pediatrician Mom

Show Notes

I know how heartbreaking and confusing it can be when a child seems fine and compliant at school only to experience meltdowns the moment they step foot at home. Today, I sit down with Meredith Carder, an ADHD coach, to dive deep into masking in ADHD. Meredith shares her own journey of being diagnosed later in life and sheds light on the immense mental and physical toll that trying to fit in takes on kids and adults. We explore how masking leads to late diagnoses (especially in girls) and discuss practical strategies to help our kids feel safe enough to drop the mask and get their regulatory needs met.

We discuss:

Meredith Carder shares her experience as a late-diagnosed adult and parent advocate

How children exert so much mental energy masking at school that they experience meltdowns once safely home

That many girls especially mask their symptoms, leading to missed or delayed diagnoses

How chronic masking can lead to adult perfectionism, people-pleasing habits and burnout cycles

Indicators of masking like extreme rigidity, hair twirling, leg bouncing, excessive apologizing and school refusal

To connect with Meredith Carder follow her on Instagram @Hummingbird_adhd and check out all her resources at https://meredithcarder.com/. Buy her book It All Makes Sense Now: Embrace Your ADHD Brain to Live a Creative and Colorful Life https://link.amazon/B0fwsM6F9 (paid link)

Our podcasts are also now on YouTube. If you prefer a video podcast with closed captioning, check us out there and ⁠subscribe to PedsDocTalk⁠.

Get trusted pediatric advice, relatable parenting insights, and evidence-based tips delivered straight to your inbox—join thousands of parents who rely on the PDT newsletter to stay informed, supported, and confident. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠!

Shop Dr. Mona’s favorite products: https://shopmy.us/shop/pedsdoctalk (paid link)

And don’t forget to follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠@pedsdoctalkpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ on Instagram—our new space just for parents looking for real talk and real support.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the ⁠PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsorships⁠ page of the website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

More from The PedsDocTalk Podcast: Child Health, Development & Parenting—From a Pediatrician Mom

Oct 19, 2026

In this Follow-Up episode, Dr. Mona and sleep consultant Dr. Sarah Mitchell break down common sleep training misconceptions. They clarify that tears during sleep training stem from changing routines rather than emotional damage. Most sleep struggles boil down to two main issues: an over-reliance on external soothing props and being stuck in an overtired cycle.

Oct 14, 2026

⁠Many videos make you panic because your baby skipped crawling or didn’t get enough tummy time today. Social media can make motor milestones scarier than they need to be. I sat down with Jena Schultz, a pediatric physical therapist and mom of two to cover tummy time, crawling, W sitting and toe walking. Jena also shares two areas where she says don’t wait, act early. My hope is that you walk away calmer and more confident in your mom gut.

Oct 12, 2026

How do we raise expressive children with a voice while still holding firm and loving boundaries? Dr. Mona and Dr. Siggie Cohen explore the balance in this Follow-Up episode. They break down common parenting traps (over-explaining, negotiating, and over-praising) and share how to build internal validation and true connection with your child.

Oct 7, 2026

⁠I’m joined by Laura Petix, pediatric occupational therapist and the founder of The OT Butterfly, to unpack your child’s sensory processing differences. Behaviors like meltdowns, crashing, restlessness or selective eating often stem from their unique “sensory code”. Recognizing these underneath-the-surface needs allow us to move away from reactive power struggles and toward proactive connection.

Oct 5, 2026

⁠You don't need 11 children to learn a valuable lesson or two from a parent who does! In this Follow-Up, Dr. Mona sits down with Moshe Popack to discuss what raising a large family has taught him about parenting and managing relationships. They discuss letting go of perfectionism, adapting to the child that is in front of you and maintaining a balance as both a parent and partner.

See all episodes →