Show Notes
If bedtime in your house feels like a nightly negotiation, or you're the one lying in the dark at 2 a.m. wondering why nothing seems to work, this conversation is for you. Pediatric sleep consultant Allison Ezell spent years stuck between a sleep doctor telling her to sleep train and a TBRI therapist affirming the trauma-informed parenting she knew her son needed, unable to find anyone who could bridge the two. She eventually became the person she needed, and she's bringing that hard-won wisdom to us today. What We Cover in This Episode
The two building blocks of sleep science, sleep associations and sleep pressure, and why understanding sleep associations alone resolves most of the sleep struggles Allison sees.
The difference between "putting a child to sleep" and "putting a child to bed," and why that distinction matters most for kids who wake in the middle of the night.
A practical bedtime routine built around what a body actually needs to fall asleep: sensory input earlier in the evening, a warm bath or shower, real connection, and a small snack.
How to build felt safety around bedtime fears through repeated, low-pressure exposure, and a gradual pullback method for weaning off sleep associations without a jarring overnight switch.
A consistent, scripted response for middle-of-the-night wake-ups, plus the red flags (frequent waking, restless legs, long sleep onset, excessive daytime sleepiness) that mean it's time to talk to a doctor.
Resources Mentioned Dwell Pediatric Sleep Allison Ezell on Instagram (@dwellpediatricsleep) Timestamps
00:00:37 — Allison's story: years of sleeplessness with her son, and how she became a pediatric sleep consultant
00:05:03 — The two big buckets: trouble falling asleep vs. trouble staying asleep
00:08:01 — Sleep science 101: sleep associations, explained through "the pillow"
00:11:09 — "For a lot of parents, they are the pillow": why parents become the sleep association
00:13:36 — Building a child's confidence and tolerance for separation
00:20:35 — Why temperament and history change how a child responds to sleep
00:22:45 — Sleep pressure, naps, and finding the right wake windows
00:30:36 — What has to happen in the body to fall asleep: heart rate and body temperature
00:33:07 — Building a bedtime routine: sensory input, bath or shower, connection, snack
00:41:37 — Creating felt safety around bedtime fears through repeated exposure
00:47:52 — The gradual pullback: weaning off unsustainable sleep associations
00:53:07 — The scripted response for middle-of-the-night wake-ups
00:55:16 — Red flags that mean it's time to talk to a doctor
00:59:47 — Allison's closing message: it's not selfish to want to fix your family's sleep
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