Show Notes
This week it’s a free episode available to all, in which our four hosts gather to judge the news of the week - chiefly, Bethesda’s smoke-bomb declaration of Fallout 5 in an effort to distract from laying off a number of people who would have made it; Sony’s abandonment of discs as a storage medium and EA’s correct prediction of the World Cup final. If that all sounds a little dull, don’t worry, Nate naturally and effortlessly channeled it into pornographic takes of classic Gothic novels. Plus: the four male hobbies, a Henry Cavill origin story and headphones made out of eldritch meat.
Our art (now feat. Brendy) is by Marsh Davies, our music is by God Ribbon and our editing is by Alix Attenborough. The podcast only exists thanks to those who subscribe to Jank (and previously backed it on Patreon, which will endure for one more month).
Links! The Trojan Horse worked until it didn’t. Bethesda announced that it is making Fallout 5 which wasn’t fooling anyone. Obsidian missed their New Vegas bonus due to a single Metacritic point. Alice reviewed Dungeon Crawler Carl and people got cross about it, so now she has to review the next two books as well. Sony is giving up on physical discs, which is bad news because they have a history of delisting digital purchases. Microsoft has a plan for converting Discs2Digital.
EA correctly predicted the World Cup again. Nate did not imagine the psychic pig; he was called Mystic Marcus but has not been seen since 2022 and so must be considered missing, presumed bacon. Messi was vanquished by the baby he once bathed. Peter Serafinowicz is really excited about being in the Elden Ring movie. Remember to switch off your poison sockets. Alice subjected innocent people to Brian Butterfield’s Christmas Pizza. Look Around You. Here’s the Jank review of The Incident At Galley House.
Games! The Incident At Galley House is a glow up of Type Help and here’s how that happened. The Mermaid Mask. Hypogea.
Recommendations! Chinatown, Widow’s Bay, Beef, DW Documentaries.
More from Total Playtime
It’s another bijou two-hander this week, as Alice and I meet to pick over the remains of another week in PC gaming and get the latest updates on her dog and her neighbours, both of whom are making annoying noises. Annoying noises in gaming, meanwhile, come from the resurfacing of the GTA leaks guy (let’s face it, it’s almost certainly a guy) and the newfound union of Warner Bros and Paramount into a new games/movies behemoth. The latter now includes Bobby Kotick, about whom we have nothing bad to say. There’s also a bit of AI chat and some game recommendations, which tops up our quota just enough to merit another run of highly self-indulgent subscriber episodes plucked from the cauldron of Nate’s brain. If you’d like to experience those subscriber episodes (along with Discord access to both the hosts and your fellow listeners) you can do so right now by subscribing to Jank. Doing so will turn this from a fortnightly podcast to a weekly one, and instantly unlock over a year of previous episodes. The podcast only exists thanks to our subscribers and we thank every one of them. Our music is by God Ribbon, our art is by Marsh Davies (who also writes a great review) and our editing is by Alix Attenborough; you can send us feedback at [email protected] or leave a comment below. Links! The GTAVI leaker RETVRNED and seems to think there is more juice to squeeze. Bobby Kotick is also back, and we won’t hear a word said against him. Skydance unites Warner Bros and Paramount Games Studio, and the latter were at least quite keen on games. Capcom announced plans to change their RE Engine into an "AI generation engine" but nobody who speaks English is entirely sure what they mean. The happiest man in gaming hates generative AI. Pony Island 2 is the latest Mullinslike and you can sign up to the playtest. The horse game lady is Alice Ruppert. Evil Trout accidentally specialised in bringing Itch games on Steam. Games! Pony Island 2, The Archives of Trevosa Recommendations! Jack Tucker: Comedy Standup Hour and Vertical Slice.
Total Playtime is the official Jank podcast, funded entirely by our paying subscribers (and formerly our backers on Patreon). This week’s episode is free, but subscribers get additional episodes every other week. You may join them by subscribing here, and you can find all previous episodes here. Alice and Nate are away this week, possibly because we're talking about layoffs again, chiefly those at Microsoft again. Still, this does spare us from having to tell Nate live on air that an unrevealed Age of Empires game has been cancelled. Otherwise it's a bit of a bad-news rundown through the extended Xbox universe and into Bungie's recent decision that it's going to spend time on Destiny 2 after all, before Brendy brightens things up with some chat about the cheerily implausible fighter-plane-based fiction of Ace Combat 8. There are also some important tips about carrying car batteries, thus cementing our position as providers of service journalism. You can listen to the episode right here, or find it in your podcasting app of choice.
Alice is away this week, so three grown men get to sit around and puzzle over a particularly baffling week of news items and become steadily less certain that we were describing reality. There were some positives: Nate got to let a year’s worth of Hearthstone annoyance off his chest, Brendy got to drop an unexpected Halo deep cut, and I got to talk about a nice cat that I met. All solid therapeutic behaviours.
Total Playtime is the official Jank podcast, funded entirely by our paying subscribers (and formerly our backers on Patreon). This week’s episode is free, but subscribers get additional episodes every other week. You may join them by subscribing here, and you can find all previous episodes here. For the first time in a while all four of us could make this recording, and it's a free-to-all news episode to boot. This meant we had to address the twin issues of Gamescom and an abundance of GTA 6 footage, both from vegetable-themed hackers and latterly Rockstar themselves via an extended preview on Netflix. The former is a much more interesting discussion point, although not particularly impressive unless it later transpires it was the previous GTA hacker doing it with even less technology this time. I am also able to share some limited insights from Gamescom, although not all that much because I only saw three games and one of them I can't write about. Please support Jank so that we have enough money to send Brendy next year and have him report on all the very weirdest games on the different international stages. Plus: Nate's utterly inevitable Bane-reciting-Shakespeare impersonation, the tedium of hat management, giving an octopus in a mech suit a New Jersey accent and fleeting discussion of some games we played, like we're a videogame podcast or something. Our art is by Marsh Davies, our music is by God Ribbon, our editing is by Alix Attenborough and our existence is thanks to paying subscribers of Jank: thanks for making the podcast happen. Links! The new GTA looks like GTA. The Cyberleek manifesto is pretty cringe. Google's Project Genie made share prices go down because the market doesn't know anything. The hacker cashed out $200,000 which barely seems worth the effort of being indefinitely detained. Here's everything from Gamescom Opening Night Live. Brendy reviewed Vholume.
Total Playtime is the official Jank podcast, funded entirely by our paying subscribers (and formerly our backers on Patreon). This week’s episode is free, but subscribers get additional episodes every other week. You may join them by subscribing here, and you can find all previous episodes here.