Show Notes
"People's minds are heartbreaking. Not because people are so bad, but because they're so good. Nobody is the villain of their own life story. You must have read hundreds of minds by now, and it's true. Everybody thinks of themselves as an honest guy or gal just trying to get by, constantly under assault by circumstances and The System and hundreds and hundreds of assholes. They don't just sort of believe this. They really believe it. You almost believe it yourself, when you're deep into a reading. You can very clearly see the structure of evidence they've built up to support their narrative, and even though it looks silly to you, you can see why they will never escape it from the inside. You can see how every insult, every failure, no matter how deserved, is a totally unexpected kick in the gut. When you chose the yellow pill, you had high hopes of becoming a spy, or a gossip columnist, or just the world's greatest saleswoman. The thought of doing any of those things sickens you now." This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander.
More from UNSONG Audiobook Version
This is the final episode of The UNSONG Audiobook Podcast for the foreseeable future. I have begun my new podcast, "Fluidity", in which I am narrating the non-fiction book "Meaningness", by David Chapman. Scott Alexander is the author of "The Girl Who Poked God With A Stick", but unlike the other short stories on this podcast, he never posted this one to his Slate Star Codex blog. Enjoy!
The man standing outside my front door was carrying a clipboard and wearing a golden robe. "Not interested," I said, preparing to slam the door in his face. "Please," said the acolyte. Before I could say no he'd jammed a wad of $100 bills into my hand. "If this will buy a few moments of your time." It did, if only because I stood too flabbergasted to move. Surely they didn't have enough money to do this for everybody. "There is no everybody," said the acolyte, when I expressed my bewilderment. "You're the last one. The last unenlightened person in the world." This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here: https://slatestarcodex.com/2019/11/04/samsara/
"Reddit has a feature where you can sort posts by controversial. Controversy sells, so we trained our network to predict this too. The project went to this new-ish Indian woman with a long name who went by Shiri, and she couldn't get it to work, so our boss Brad sent me to help. Shiri had tested the network on the big 1.7 billion comment archive, and it had produced controversial-sounding hypothethical scenarios about US politics. So far so good. The Japanese tested their bioweapons on Chinese prisoners. The Tuskegee Institute tested syphilis on African-Americans. We were either nicer or dumber than they were, because we tested Shiri's Scissor on ourselves." This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here: https://slatestarcodex.com/2018/10/30/sort-by-controversial/
"When you first take the Artifact, you will see a vision of ALPHANION, Demon-Sultan of the Domain of Order, who appears as a grid of spheres connected by luminous lines. Alphanion will urge you to use the Artifact to enforce cosmic order, law at its most fundamental." This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here: https://slatestarcodex.com/2018/09/12/in-the-balance/
"The Alchemist asked if I wanted a drink. I did, but no amount of staring could make my eyes settle on the color of the liquid in the flask. And the gold the alchemists paid the taxmen smelled funny and made crackling noises. I declined." This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here: https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/11/09/ars-longa-vita-brevis/