230. What’s the “Next Right Thing” to Say When a Student Is Panicking?

Radical acceptance is a strong start… then kids still look at you like, “Okay, now what?” In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline Buzanko teaches the missing step: agency—helping kids and teens take the next right thing even when they feel anxious, angry, embarrassed, or stuck.

You’ll hear simple scripts, plus kid-friendly metaphors (GPS detours, storms and umbrellas, rivers, and the “two arrows”) that turn spirals into small, doable moves. Dr. Caroline also shares a real story from parenting a 10-year-old through a tough coaching situation—without swooping in—and shows how to validate emotions while still building resilience.

If you support youth with anxiety, school refusal, perfectionism, overwhelm, or big feelings, this episode gives you practical language and quick activities you can use today: grounding in the body, values-based choices, “even though” self-coaching, and daily reflection that trains courage over avoidance.

Homework activities for adults supporting kids/teens

A) The 3-step reset (use in real time) Prompt 1: “Name the reality.” (“This is hard.” “This hurts.”) Prompt 2: “Find it in your body.” (“Where do you feel it—chest, hands, stomach?” “Left or right?”) Prompt 3: “Pick one small step.” (“What’s one thing you can do right now?”)

Resource to prep: a tiny cue card for adults (phone note or printed) with the three prompts.

B) The “Even though… I still can…” script practice (2 minutes/day) Have the child complete 1 sentence daily: “Even though I feel ___, I still can ___.” “Even though I want to ___ (avoid), I still can ___ (stay/try).” Adults model it too (kids copy what they see). Resource to prep: a note in the kitchen/classroom wall, or a journal page with 10 blank lines.

C) Values Compass (15 minutes, then weekly check-ins) Draw a circle, divide into “pie slices” of important areas (friendship, learning, family, health, fun, etc.). Rate satisfaction 1–10 for each slice. Ask: “What makes it a 2 and not a 1?” then: “What bumps it up by 0.5?” Resource to prep: blank “values pie” worksheet (paper + markers) or a whiteboard template.

D) Choose-your-response scenarios (flexibility training) Pick one common stressor (pop quiz, reading aloud, being left out, forgotten homework). Brainstorm 3 response types: avoidance (run away) neutral/mixed (ask to read with partner) approach/values-aligned (read one sentence even while nervous) Resource to prep: a list of 10 scenarios relevant to your child/student group.

E) Daily “bravery receipt” reflection (2–5 minutes) Question: “What was something hard today?” Question: “What did you do anyway?” Close: “Today, I acted like someone who values ___.” Resource to prep: a journal, sticky notes, or a simple nightly routine prompt.

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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/