8 Fixes for Small Groups

Read Kelly's story and more in this helpful resource: Trying: Reflections on Faith through Infertility, Miscarriage, and Loss What happens to babies who die through miscarriage, stillbirth, or abortion—and how can we grieve these losses in a way that honors both the child and God? We continue our conversation about miscarriage by exploring the realities of grief, how husbands, friends, family, and churches can support those who are suffering, and why trying to explain or quickly fix someone's pain can often make it harder. We also wrestle with one of the most difficult theological questions surrounding pregnancy loss: Do miscarried babies go to heaven? As we look at Scripture, original sin, human guilt, God's mercy, the work of Jesus, and God's heart for children, we share why we believe babies who die before birth are with Jesus—not because they are innocent, but because salvation is ultimately through the mercy and finished work of Christ. We also share how God used our own story of repeated miscarriage to uncover a medical condition, eventually allowing us to have three biological children, and how that experience has shaped the way we trust God's purposes even when we cannot see them. What We Learned People experiencing miscarriage often need to tell others exactly how they need to be supported, whether that means prayer, companionship, a distraction, or simply someone willing to listen. Grief after miscarriage is real even without the traditional markers of loss, such as a funeral or gravestone, and finding meaningful ways to remember a lost child can help honor that life. We should resist trying to explain why a miscarriage happened, including suggesting unrepentant sin, health or wellness practices, or other potential causes as though we can identify God's purposes. One of the most compassionate ways to support someone grieving is to enter their sadness without immediately trying to fix it, minimize it, or move them toward optimism. Husbands can experience their own grief, shame, expectations, and confusion after miscarriage and need friends who will ask how they are doing rather than assuming they are unaffected. We believe miscarried and stillborn babies are with Jesus, but not because babies are inherently innocent; our understanding of Scripture teaches that humanity bears the effects and guilt of Adam's fall. We believe the hope of heaven for these children is ultimately grounded in God's mercy and the finished work of Jesus, not in their ability to consciously express faith. Our own experience showed us that God can bring life through loss: a third miscarriage led to discovering a serious but treatable condition that otherwise may never have been identified.

Read Kelly's story and more in this helpful resource: Trying: Reflections on Faith through Infertility, Miscarriage, and Loss What happens to our faith when God says no to something we desperately prayed for? We explore the painful reality of miscarriage, the physical and emotional grief it brings, and the unexpected ways pregnancy loss can affect our marriages, our relationships, and our relationship with God. Drawing from our own experience of three miscarriages early in our marriage, we talk honestly about the loneliness, anger, shame, questions, and theological tension that can follow loss. We also unpack what it means to “wrestle well” with God through suffering—bringing humility, honesty, curiosity, and patience into our prayers rather than numbing our pain or quietly distancing ourselves from God. What We Learned Miscarriage can create a profound physical and emotional grief, particularly for women who experience the loss in their own bodies. Pregnancy loss can create unexpected distance between husbands and wives because men and women may experience and process the grief differently. Miscarriage can lead to a deep faith wrestle, raising difficult questions about God’s goodness, sovereignty, fatherhood, and the promises of Scripture. Other people's stories can help us put language to our own grief, especially when we don't know how to communicate what we're experiencing. We can bring honesty to God in our suffering rather than pretending to trust when we are actually angry, confused, or hurt. Wrestling well with God involves both honesty and humility: we can acknowledge what we don't understand while remaining curious about what we cannot yet see. Patience matters in spiritual wrestling. We may need to keep coming back to God, waiting for His answer rather than walking away after one prayer. Psalm 25:3 and the Psalms more broadly can give language and encouragement to those who are learning how to wait on God in the middle of suffering. Resources Mentioned Check out these articles written by Kelly through seasons of miscarriage: How to Handle the Grief of Miscarriage No Good Thing Does He Withhold: Having Faith in Difficult Times Part 1 and Part 2 When Feelings and Faith Disagree Draw Near to God with Your Questions Miscarriage is a Peculiar Kind of Grief Scripture Referenced Psalm 13:1 Psalm 25:3 Job Join our team! patreon.com/jimmykellyneedham Produced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.com

What does it look like to faithfully engage with Halloween as a Christian? We talk honestly about the different ways families can approach October 31st, from intentional abstention to using the cultural moment as an opportunity for gospel ministry. Kelly Needham and Phylicia Masonheimer share how their families have landed in different places based on their communities, convictions, and the spiritual context around them. We explore Christian freedom, discernment, discipleship, evangelism, cultural engagement, and the importance of stewarding what God has entrusted to us. Whether Halloween is a major event in your neighborhood or something you’ve never thought much about, we hope this conversation helps us prayerfully consider what faithfulness, humility, and intentionality can look like in our own communities. What We Learned Halloween’s name comes from “All Hallows’ Eve,” the evening before All Saints Day on November 1. Phylicia and her husband chose to abstain from Halloween beyond handing out candy when they lived downtown, partly because of the strong Wiccan and witchcraft presence in their community. Their family now hosts an All Saints celebration where guests dress as people from church history, share food, sing hymns, and participate in church history trivia. Kelly and Jimmy chose to “redeem Halloween” after learning that their home had a reputation as the haunted house of Sleepy Hollow, turning it into a place known for generosity, prayer, and gospel conversations. The conversation identifies three approaches Christians might take: redemption, abstention, or passive participation—and emphasizes the importance of being intentional rather than simply going along with cultural habits. Christian freedom should be stewarded for the good of others, including believers who may have different convictions or backgrounds. Romans 14 is highlighted as a helpful passage for thinking through convictional differences without judging other believers. We are encouraged to assess what we currently do, look carefully at the community God has placed us in, pray, and ask how we can intentionally use what God has entrusted to us for the sake of the gospel. Recommended Resources Phylicia's Halloween resources Needham's halloween resources

What if influence has less to do with having a position and more to do with how we use the influence God has already entrusted to us? We explore what Scripture shows us about the unique influence women can have—with or without a position of authority—and examine women such as Abigail, Esther, Delilah, Jezebel, Rahab, Tamar, and others who shaped circumstances for good or for evil. We look at the difference between godly influence and selfish manipulation and identify four marks of godly influence: it is submissive to authority, sacrificial, strategic, and aimed at benefiting others and glorifying God. Ultimately, we consider how we can recognize the spheres of influence already around us and use them for the good of others and the advancement of God's kingdom. What We Learned Women are described at creation as a “helper” or ezer, a Hebrew word also frequently used of God as help, pointing to a role that can be deeply influential rather than merely subordinate. Influence is defined as “the capacity to be a compelling force on the actions, thoughts, and behaviors of others.” Scripture gives examples of women influencing circumstances for both good and evil, including Abigail averting a conflict with David, Esther advocating for her people, Delilah bringing down Samson, and Jezebel influencing Ahab toward evil. Women do not need a formal position, title, paycheck, platform, podcast, or position of authority to make a significant impact in the world around them. Godly influence is submissive to authority; submission does not mean having no voice or being a doormat, but recognizing and honoring legitimate authority. Godly influence is sacrificial, often involving personal risk or loss for the benefit of others. Godly influence is strategic, using wisdom, timing, shrewdness, and intentionality for God's purposes rather than selfish manipulation. Godly influence benefits others and glorifies God, seeking the advancement of God's purposes rather than personal power or control. Related Episodes ⁠We did a deep dive on 1 Timothy 2 here: “So...Can Women Not Talk in Church?” “Complimentarianism (and other short words)” “Gender Roles Q&A” “She Should Cover Her Head??” “Complementarianism Isn’t About You — It’s About God” Scripture Referenced Eve & Adam – Genesis 2:18-23 God as our ezer – Psalm 121:1-2, Psalm 33:20 Sarah & Abraham – Genesis 16 Rebekah & Isaac – Genesis 24-27 Tamar & Judah – Genesis 38 Potiphar’s Wife & Joseph – Genesis 39 Two Hebrew Midwives, Shiphrah and Puah – Exodus 1 Zipporah & Moses – Exodus 4 Daughters of Zelophehad – Numbers 27 Rahab in Jericho – Joshua 2 Jael & Sisera – Judges 4-5 Delilah & Samson – Judges 13-16 Abigail, Nabal & David – 1 Samuel 25 Jezebel & Ahab – 1 Kings 16 The little slave girl & Naman – 2 Kings 5 Athaliah, Jehosheba & Joash – 2 Kings 8-11 Herodias & John the Baptist – Mark 6 Women supporting Jesus’ Ministry – Luke 8 Woman at the Well – John 4 Elizabeth & Mary – Luke 1-2 Deborah – Judges 4-5 Esther Join our team! patreon.com/jimmykellyneedham Produced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.com

Help train up women in your church! https://teachequip.com/clearly What if complementarianism became known for what it celebrates, not just what it restricts? Jimmy and Kelly Needham explore how complementarian churches can move beyond defining what women can and cannot do and instead create a culture where women are valued, equipped, affirmed, and actively involved in ministry. We unpack four practical ways pastors and church leaders can help women thrive: investigate how the women in their church are doing, identify women who are already faithfully serving, invest in their growth through training and resources, and involve them in the work and life of the church. We also discuss practical guardrails for healthy relationships between men and women, the importance of pastoral initiative, and how women can respond with grace, prayer, and long-suffering when their church leadership has room to grow. What We Learned Complementarianism teaches that men and women are different and complementary, with those differences being important, intentional, and valuable. Pastors and church leaders can investigate the spiritual health of the women in their church by regularly asking trusted women about discipleship, biblical knowledge, outside influences, and common struggles. Leaders should identify women who are faithfully serving, showing an appetite for deeper theology, discipling others, and consistently contributing to the life of the church. Identifying a woman’s gifting should be followed by affirming it; having a godly male leader recognize and call attention to a woman’s ministry gifting can be deeply formative. Churches can invest in women through conferences, books, courses, resources, cohorts, and other opportunities for theological and ministry development. Leaders can involve women by seeking their perspective in areas such as marriage counseling, sermon preparation, church initiatives, and other aspects of church life. Healthy involvement includes appropriate relational guardrails, such as giving affirmation publicly or including a woman’s husband when communicating privately. Women who feel unsupported by church leadership are encouraged to extend forgiveness and grace, pray for their pastors, fight bitterness, and patiently seek health and change within their church. Definitions Complementarianism – men and women have sameness in worth, but difference in roles. Egalitarianism – men and women have sameness in worth, sameness in roles. Related Episodes ⁠We did a deep dive on 1 Timothy 2 here: “So...Can Women Not Talk in Church?” “Complimentarianism (and other short words)” “Gender Roles Q&A” “She Should Cover Her Head??” “Complementarianism Isn’t About You — It’s About God” Resources Mentioned Jen Wilkin Simeon Trust Workshops Purpose Fooled Join our team! patreon.com/jimmykellyneedham Produced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.com