S3_Ep-10: They Stopped Inviting Us | The Isolation of Special Needs Parenting

Last week we talked about what people say to special needs parents. This week we flip it. These are the things we wish people understood, the ones that would change everything if they just landed. Jeff and Kim go down their own list. That the cost of raising Cason is not 18 years, it is a lifetime. That they still do everything for a 25 year old, from the medication to the toenails. That the smile you see in public is often covering a burnout they have learned to mask. That most special needs parents carry a kind of PTSD, except unlike a soldier, they never get to leave the battlefield. And that none of this, not one word of it, means they love their son any less. This is not a list of complaints. It is an honest look at a life most people never have to see, from two people who have lived it for almost 25 years.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it. New episodes every week. #SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #SpecialNeedsMom #TheSpecialnessPodcast

Can't you control your child? You're so strong, I could never do it. God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Every special needs parent keeps a running list of the things people say, and this week we are going through ours.Jeff and Kim get into the comments they hear from strangers, friends, and family. What they want to fire back in the moment, and what they have learned to say instead to actually educate the person in front of them. They also name the comment that stings the most, the one quietly hiding inside all the others: I'm just glad I'm not you.And they end on the thing they wish people would say. Not "how is your son," which they can answer in their sleep, but "how are you." If you have ever been called strong on a day you were barely holding on, this one is going to feel like someone finally gets it.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #SpecialNeedsMom #TheSpecialnessPodcast

In the mental health world, there is no blood test. No x-ray. Just a subjective judgment that changes from one doctor's office to the next, and a family left to live with the consequences.Jeff and Kim get honest about the part of special needs parenting that society files under "dangerous" or "crazy" and refuses to take seriously. They walk through Cason's mental health journey from the beginning: the manic behavior at four, the neuropsychologist who suspected bipolar one, the renowned psychiatrist who dismissed it as "just ADHD," and the medication trial and error that made everything worse. They also share the terrifying hospital day that no parent should have to fight through, and why the words "he's too young for that" cost their family years.This is a conversation about stigma, about a mental health system that is easy to be failed by, and about why our own community has to be the place understanding starts.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.#SpecialNeedsParents #MentalHealth #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #TheSpecialnessPodcast

When people hear the word grief, they think someone died. For special needs parents, the grief is different. It's the life you planned for and never got to live, and it doesn't fade. It compounds. In this episode, Jeff and Kim talk openly about the grief nobody in the special needs world seems allowed to name. The milestones that never come. The family gatherings where the gap becomes impossible to ignore. The jealousy that shows up watching friends drop their kids at college. And why, after almost 25 years, the grief has actually gotten heavier, not lighter. If you have ever felt guilty for grieving while still loving your child with everything you have, this one is for you. You have permission to feel it. #SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsGrief #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #TheSpecialnessPodcast

Part 2 of our conversation with Julia Erman, a special needs mom whose two children share an ultra rare diagnosis. This is the half about what she did with it.Julia found out her kids were dying on her birthday, over a Zoom call. In this episode she talks about the faith that gave her peace that same day, why suffering builds a muscle most people never have to grow, and how a conversation at a backyard cookout turned into The Hazelnut Movement, a school program that has now reached 25 schools in 5 states.She also says something that stopped us: her daughter isn't the problem. Her own grief is. This is a conversation about the hard you can control and the hard you cannot.Missed Part 1? Watch it here: https://youtu.be/HqwvSUjrHZwABOUT OUR GUESTJulia Erman is a speaker, author, and founder of The Hazelnut Movement, a nonprofit school assembly program that helps kids understand disability through storytelling. She has written 18 children's books and has been featured in People Magazine and NBC Today Parents.Julia's website, books, and speaking: https://www.juliaerman.co/The Hazelnut Movement, school assemblies and educator resources: https://www.thehazelnutmovement.com/Julia is currently booking school assemblies and keynotes, and she has packets parents can send to their own school administrators. She also offers a free 7-day encouragement series for special needs moms called 7 Days of Hope.Find her on Instagram at @ermanjulia and @thehazelnutmovement.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsMom #RareDisease #SpecialNeedsFamily #TheSpecialnessPodcast