Show Notes
If you or someone you love is trapped in addiction and you've run out of answers, call Hope Is Alive at 1-844-3-HOPE-NOW or visit hopeisalive.net
In this honest and hope-filled episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down with Lance Lang — pastor's kid turned 50-pill-a-day addict turned founder of Hope Is Alive — for a conversation that will change the way you see addiction forever. Lance breaks down the moment he hit rock bottom, why addiction doesn't care about your last name, your bank account, or your upbringing, and how one full confession in his uncle's office on April 6th, 2011 became the first day of the rest of his life. Carl and Lance dismantle the stigma that rehab is for people who've lost everything, explain why explanations are not excuses but tools, and make the case that sobriety is not a surrender — it's a superpower. From the lie that you're too busy to get help, to the three things every family member of an addict needs to hear, to why the cost of not going is always greater than the cost of going, this episode is a lifeline for anyone who's been waiting for a sign. Whether you're the one struggling in silence, the spouse who's tried everything, or the parent sitting in a pew next to someone who's carrying the same secret you are — this is your moment.
Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey through betrayal, rebuilding, and recovery, Carl and Laura created Lights On to bring light to the areas of life where we need it most.
If this episode gave you hope or you're ready to take the next step, don't wait. Call Hope Is Alive at 1-844-3-HOPE-NOW or visit hopeisalive.net
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Lance at: hopeisalive.net Hope Is Alive: hopeisalive.net Supported by God Behind Bars - https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana - https://plana.org/
CHAPTERS: 0:00 - Welcome to Lights On 1:56 - Lance Lang: Pastor's Kid, Drug Addict, Founder 3:56 - Addiction Doesn't Discriminate 8:39 - Rock Bottom: 50 Pills a Day 9:55 - The First Full Confession 10:27 - 90 Days That Changed Everything 13:53 - God Behind Bars Partnership 16:00 - What People Get Wrong About Addiction 21:05 - Explanations Are Not Excuses 23:18 - Remove the Stigma From Rehab 25:29 - Hope Is Alive: Recovery Done Differently 31:01 - Finding Hope: Support Groups for Families 33:15 - You're Not Alone. It's Not Your Fault. There Is Hope. 40:21 - Plana Partnership 41:02 - Sobriety Is Your Superpower 43:49 - Recovery Is Not Just Sobriety — It's Identity 46:23 - Try the Drug Called Hope 47:54 - How to Call Hope Is Alive Right Now 49:25 - A Word to the Addict Listening See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
More from Lights On with Carl Lentz
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] Our book, Overcoming Infidelity, is OUT NOW: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] Pre-order our book, Overcoming Infidelity, TODAY: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] Pre-order our book, Overcoming Infidelity, TODAY: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] Every couple in recovery hits the same three walls at some point. The rage that won't quit. The suspicion that there's more to the story. And the impossible question of how to protect your kids from the fallout of a parent who isn't showing up. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura take on all three, pulled straight from the mailbag. The first: how do you deal with the raw, uncontainable anger you feel toward the person your spouse cheated with? Carl gets honest about why misdirecting rage at the affair partner is one of the most common and most damaging traps a betrayed spouse can fall into, and why the person who actually broke the vow is always the right target for accountability. Laura walks through what to do with the intrusive thoughts that show up unannounced, and the difference between validating a feeling and getting stuck in it. The second: is full disclosure actually necessary, or does bringing everything into the light just cause more pain? Carl and Laura make the case that nothing hidden can be healed, walk through what a real proper disclosure looks like, and get into why offering something like a polygraph isn't dramatic. It's the fastest way to remove the doubt that would otherwise haunt a marriage for years. Full disclosure isn't just for the person who broke it. It's for the person who needs to know they can finally exhale. The third: what do you do when you're the parent trying to lead your kids through healing and the other parent isn't participating? Laura gets direct about building a healthy village around your kids without recruiting them into your anger, the three truths every mom of daughters should be teaching in a season like this, and why the greatest gift you can give your children isn't your commentary on their other parent. It's your own health. Stay for the surgery analogy that will reframe how you think about partial versus full healing, the reminder that stacking new evidence doesn't require erasing the past, and the closer worth writing down: let their actions speak. Not your words. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] Some of the hardest questions in recovery aren't the big ones. They're the small, daily ones that couples get stuck on for years without ever asking out loud. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura take on two of them, both pulled straight from the mailbag, and get into the honest answers most couples never get. The first: when does accountability start turning into policing, and how do you rebuild the muscle of trust without micromanaging every conversation? Carl walks through the "most gracious story" technique that changed how they approached daily check-ins, why proactive honesty is worth more than any answer given under interrogation, and how to handle the lose-lose questions every betrayed spouse eventually asks (like "do you find her attractive?"). Laura gets honest about the difference between her husband creating safety for her and her needing him to be her safety system, and where that line has to live for a marriage to actually heal. The second: where do you actually get help? Carl walks through the road he took: on-site, rehab, group therapy, the relapse five months in, and the specialized help that finally started to move the needle. Laura shares her own road through betrayal trauma therapy, the red flags of a bad therapist, and why they skipped traditional couples counseling entirely for the first stretch of recovery. Both of them agree on one thing: it's the betrayer's job to find help. Not the betrayed spouse's. Stay for the "am I doing anything currently?" question that reframes accountability entirely, the Vegas story that will make you laugh out loud, the reframe worth writing down (you can create safety, but you can't become her safety system), and the closer that anchors the whole episode: specialized help isn't optional. It's the difference between surviving this and healing from it. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.