Show Notes
Trauma doesn't stay neatly contained in the past—and it doesn't stay outside the bedroom. In this episode of The Sexology Lab, we sit down with Amanda Jepson, SHA-certified and AASECT-certified sex therapist and trauma specialist, to explore how trauma can shape desire, pleasure, trust, touch, attachment, communication, and relational safety. Amanda explains why trauma-informed sex therapy often requires slowing down, building safety first, and helping clients reconnect with their bodies and sexuality at their own pace. We also talk about affirming care for erotic minorities, the risks of clinician bias, how Amanda chooses between modalities like EMDR, CPT, narrative therapy, CBT, and DBT, and what good care actually looks like for queer, kinky, non-monogamous, disabled, larger-bodied, and otherwise marginalized clients. Plus, Amanda shares how current political realities are showing up in the therapy room—and why community, supervision, curiosity, and ethical self-reflection matter more than ever. KEY TAKEAWAYS: Trauma can affect sexuality even when the trauma itself wasn't sexual. Trust, nervous-system regulation, desire, touch, vulnerability, attachment, and orgasm can all be impacted. Trauma-informed sex therapy moves at the client's pace. Safety and stabilization come first, followed by trauma processing and then deeper reconnection with pleasure, sexuality, and relationships. Clinicians have to examine their own bias. Erotic minorities can be harmed when professionals pathologize, judge, minimize, or over-romanticize identities and behaviors based on their own beliefs instead of listening to the client. SHOW SUMMARY: 00:00 Trauma & Sexuality 00:42 Erotic Minorities 01:54 Origin Story 04:00 Fluid Labels 04:32 Sensate Focus 05:48 Overcoming Bias 06:58 Clinical Gaps: OCSB 08:26 Taboo Porn & Guilt 12:35 EMDR, CPT & CBT 18:12 Safety & Stabilization 20:21 Fight or Flight vs. Orgasm 23:54 Somatic Coping 25:38 Ready for Reconnection 28:28 Kink, BDSM & CNM Trauma 31:52 Polyamory Affirming Care 36:56 Therapist Humility 38:22 LGBTQ+ Across Politics 45:28 Ethics: Community & Military 46:53 Post-Traumatic Growth 47:54 Rapid Fire Myths & Skills 49:45 SHA Experience RESOURCES MENTIONED THIS EPISODE: The Sexology Lab is powered by Sexual Health Alliance, the premier global hub for sexology certifications, evidence-based continuing education (CE/CEU), and an expansive international network of therapists, healthcare providers, educators, and sexuality professionals.Learn directly from industry pioneers and leading voices in modern sexual wellness: Explore the Community: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/ Certifications: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/get-certified-allcertifications Join Us at AMPLIFY this October 2026! Modern intimacy is evolving. As millions turn to digital media, social platforms, and modern culture for guidance on sex, relationships, and identity, clinicians and educators must shape conversations that are inclusive, evidence-based, and representative. Secure your conference pass: https://www.sexologylab.com/amplify Resources and concepts discussed in this episode include: Amanda Jepson: https://colorfullifetherapy.com/ Sexual Health Alliance: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/ EMDR: https://www.emdria.org/ Tell Me What You Want by Dr. Justin Lehmiller: https://www.sexandpsychology.com/books/ SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW: If you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more people with thoughtful, evidence-informed conversations about sex, relationships, trauma, and human behavior. 🎙 Thanks for tuning in to The Sexology Lab. See you next week! https://www.sexologylab.com/
More from The Sexology Lab
What can data and engineering teach us about orgasms, arousal, and women's sexual health? In this conversation, the host sits down with Anna Lee, co-founder and CEO of Lioness, to discuss how her transition from an Amazon mechanical engineer to a sex tech innovator led to building one of the world's largest physiological datasets on female sexual function. What started as an effort to build a better vibrator evolved into a mission to bridge the immense research gap in female pleasure and empower individuals through body literacy. Anna shares insights on what pelvic floor contractions reveal about orgasms, the surprising trends hidden within hundreds of thousands of sessions, and how factors like edging, THC, caffeine, and alcohol impact pleasure. The discussion also covers the systemic challenges of building a business in the tabood sex tech industry, navigating investor biases, overcoming cultural stigma, and the future role of AI in sexual wellness. KEY TAKEAWAYS: Knowledge is pleasure. Orgasm data fills a massive scientific gap Overcoming industry taboo requires direct communication. SHOW SUMMARY: 00:00 – The "Magic Pill" for Better Orgasms 01:36 – Meet Anna Lee, CEO of Lioness 02:02 – From Amazon Mechanical Engineer to Sex Tech Pioneer 05:36 – What is Lioness? 06:12 – The Science of Measuring Orgasms 07:01 – Closing the Research Gap on Female Pleasure 08:43 – Surprising Trends from 500,000+ Orgasm Sessions 11:48 – What Factors Impact Orgasm Quality? 14:08 – Could Orgasms Be a "Canary in the Coal Mine" for Health? 17:15 – Empowering Relationships Through Body Literacy 20:22 – The Role of AI in the Future of Sex Tech 22:37 – The Challenges of Building a Sex Tech Business 24:48 – Pitching Orgasm Data to Investors 26:50 – Becoming a Public Face for Asian-American Sexual Wellness 28:16 – Lightning Round: Desk Trinkets, Mechanical Keyboards, and Industry Favorites RESOURCES MENTIONED THIS EPISODE: Anna Lee — Mechanical engineer, co-founder, and CEO of Lioness. https://www.instagram.com/annaisaverage/?hl=en Lioness — The biofeedback vibrator tracking arousal and orgasm data. https://lioness.io/ SEXUAL HEALTH ALLIANCE: Sexual Health Alliance is the sponsor of The Sexology Lab and a global leader in education for sex therapy, coaching, counseling, sex education, and sexology. Explore the Community: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/
What can dominatrixes teach us about confidence, negotiation, boundaries, and getting what we want in life? More than you might think. In this conversation, Michelle sits down with Lindsay Goldwert, journalist, author, and podcast host, to explore the surprising lessons she learned while researching her book Bow Down: Lessons from Dominatrixes on How to Get Everything You Want. What began as an unconventional idea for a book about money and professional success became a much bigger exploration of power, self-advocacy, consent, communication, and personal transformation. Lindsay shares how meeting professional dominatrixes challenged her assumptions about authority and helped her recognize the importance of knowing what you want, asking for it, and refusing to make yourself smaller. The conversation also examines the financial discrimination and censorship experienced by sex workers, and why their experiences deserve greater attention. Lindsay and Michelle also explore changing sexuality in midlife, perimenopause, relationship expectations, and the pressure to maintain a particular kind of sex life. From redefining pleasure to replacing obligatory sex with meaningful intimacy, this conversation challenges the idea that confidence, desire, and personal reinvention belong only to the young. KEY TAKEAWAYS: Power begins with knowing what you want and communicating it. Sexuality and identity can evolve throughout adulthood. Intimacy doesn't have to mean intercourse. SHOW SUMMARY: 00:00 – Lindsay Goldwert & Self-Advocacy in Midlife 01:48 – Inspiration Behind Writing About Sex, Kink & Relationships 02:43 – Writing Bow Down: Financial Literacy meets BDSM Philosophy 05:03 – Sex Work, Financial Censorship & Early Warnings 06:38 – Key Takeaway: Creating Your Personal "Ten Commandments" 08:53 – The Midlife Plot Twist: Rethinking Perimenopause & Aging 12:24 – Evolutionary Stress & Modern Sex Lives 14:38 – Sex Playlists & Reclaiming Your Essential Self 15:15 – Lightning Round: Writing Advice & Inspiration 18:55 – Sensuality in Daily Life & Desk Essentials 20:19 – Future Guest Recommendations for Sexology Lab 21:08 – Standout Experience with Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) RESOURCES MENTIONED THIS EPISODE: Lindsay Goldwert — Journalist, author, and podcast host. https://www.lindsaygoldwert.com/
What if the traits that make a man incredibly successful at work are the same ones making intimacy harder? Coral Osborne joins The Sexology Lab to explore what she has learned about high-achieving men through her experiences as a former escort, sexologist, coach, and someone who has spent years studying the intersection of sexuality, psychology, relationships, and masculinity. Coral says she repeatedly encountered successful men who could lead companies, negotiate deals, and maintain control professionally—but struggled when relationships demanded vulnerability, uncertainty, emotional honesty, and the possibility of rejection. This conversation goes far beyond the bedroom. Coral and Michelle explore "nice guy syndrome," shame-based achievement, the manosphere and red pill spaces, modern masculinity, male loneliness, vulnerability, infidelity, sexual shame, pattern recognition, and why sexuality can reveal much more about us than what we like sexually. Coral also shares how being doxxed as a sex worker ultimately led her to sexology, the coaching methodology she developed from her own experience, what she has learned from working with men, and why Sexual Health Alliance became one of the first places she felt fully accepted. KEY TAKEAWAYS: Professional success and relational success require different skills. Vulnerability isn't forced disclosure or "trauma dumping." Sexual concerns can be an entry point into something much deeper. SHOW SUMMARY: 00:00 - Masculine Approval Dynamics & Introduction of Coral Osborne 01:31 - Origin Story: Sex Work, Doxing, & Sexology Discovery 02:37 - Men's Struggle with Intimacy & Relationship Disconnect 05:12 - Dark Motivation & Challenges Facing High-Performing Men 08:04 - Nice Guy Syndrome & Blind Spots in Men's Intimacy 09:11 - Defining Healthy Masculinity 11:13 - Masculinity & Vulnerability Misconceptions 12:08 - Coaching Model & Shame Release Methodology 13:59 - Pattern Recognition, Desires, & Fear Excavation 16:08 - Fieldwork, Micro-Truths, & Support Ecosystems 20:03 - The Next Man Up Podcast Origin & Dynamic 22:25 - Impact of Sexology on Relationship Understanding 24:23 - Psychological Bodywork & SHA Conference Presentations 27:37 - Lightning Round: Success, Books, & Guest Recommendations RESOURCES MENTIONED THIS EPISODE: Coral Osborne: https://coralosborne.com/ The Next Man Up podcast: https://coralosborne.com/pod Dr. David Ley: https://www.sexologylab.com/episodes/forensic-sexuality-bias-sex-laws-david-ley Dr. Chris Donaghue: https://www.sexologylab.com/episodes/sexual-bypassing-myth-of-normal-dr-chris-donaghue SEXUAL HEALTH ALLIANCE: Sexual Health Alliance is the sponsor of The Sexology Lab and a global leader in education for sex therapy, coaching, counseling, sex education, and sexology. Explore the Community: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/ Certifications: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/get-certified-allcertifications Join Us at AMPLIFY this October 2026! As millions turn to digital media, social platforms, and modern culture for guidance on sex, relationships, and identity, clinicians and educators must shape conversations that are inclusive, evidence-based, and representative. Secure your conference pass: https://www.sexologylab.com/amplify SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If you enjoyed this conversation, subscribe to The Sexology Lab on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. And if something in this episode challenged what you thought you knew about menopause, pleasure, or sexuality and aging, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 🎙 Thanks for tuning in to The Sexology Lab. See you next week! https://www.sexologylab.com/
What happens when researchers ask women going through menopause to self-pleasure three to four times a week—for months? Dr. Justin Lehmiller joins The Sexology Lab to unpack his latest research on menopause, masturbation, orgasm, and sexual health. His team first surveyed pre-, peri-, and post-menopausal women, then designed a longitudinal study that included an abstinence period followed by regular self-pleasure. The results challenge some of our biggest assumptions about sexuality and aging. Justin explains why menopause doesn't automatically mean worse pleasure, which symptoms appeared to improve during the study, and why orgasm and better sleep may be part of the story. We also get into vibrator myths, erotic flexibility, why doctors need to become more comfortable discussing pleasure, and why expanding our definition of intimacy may become increasingly important as we age. Later, Justin shares what he's researching next, the sexual-health books he recommends, what's actually on a sex researcher's desk, and why he loves leading Sexual Health Alliance's international study abroad programs. KEY TAKEAWAYS: Menopause does not mean the end of pleasure. Regular self-pleasure was associated with improvements in menopause symptoms. Sexual health needs to be part of healthcare. SHOW SUMMARY: 00:00 - Dr. Justin Lehmiller Introduction 01:41 - Origin of the Menopause & Masturbation Study 04:07 - Why Sexual Pleasure in Aging is Taboo 04:57 - Study 1: Masturbation vs. Orgasm Frequency in Post-Menopausal Women 06:53 - Why Orgasms Can Improve After Menopause 08:42 - Generational Differences & Medical Education Gaps 11:25 - Study 2: Can Masturbation Relieve Menopause Symptoms? 14:08 - The Neurological & Physical Power of Orgasm 15:50 - Customizing Pleasure & Sex Toy Learning Curves 19:23 - Debunking Anti-Masturbation Sentiment & Clitoral Desensitization 23:20 - Integrating Self-Pleasure into Medical Menopause Care 28:11 - Perimenopause Advice & Myth-Busting Hormone Replacement Therapy 31:22 - Expanding the Definition of Sex with Age 34:57 - Rapid Fire / Lightning Round 40:26 - SHA Study Abroad & Global Sexology Communities RESOURCES MENTIONED THIS EPISODE: Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Sex and Psychology Podcast: https://www.sexandpsychology.com/ Dr. Cynthia Graham: https://genderstudies.indiana.edu/about/faculty/graham-cynthia.html Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/index.html SEXUAL HEALTH ALLIANCE: Sexual Health Alliance is the sponsor of The Sexology Lab and a global leader in education for sex therapy, coaching, counseling, sex education, and sexology. Dr. Justin Lehmiller also directs SHA's international Study Abroad programs, which combine sexual-health education with immersive experiences exploring sexuality, culture, history, and research around the world. Explore the Community: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/ Certifications: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/get-certified-allcertifications Join Us at AMPLIFY this October 2026! As millions turn to digital media, social platforms, and modern culture for guidance on sex, relationships, and identity, clinicians and educators must shape conversations that are inclusive, evidence-based, and representative. Secure your conference pass: https://www.sexologylab.com/amplify SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If you enjoyed this conversation, subscribe to The Sexology Lab on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. And if something in this episode challenged what you thought you knew about menopause, pleasure, or sexuality and aging, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 🎙 Thanks for tuning in to The Sexology Lab. See you next week! https://www.sexologylab.com/
When Alyssa Ljubicich joined Netflix's The Circle, producers expected her to play a particular role: the flirty, highly sexualized "sexy girl." But Alyssa was already working in sexual health—and what interested her wasn't performing sexuality for an audience. It was helping people understand their bodies, challenge shame, and build healthier relationships with pleasure. In this episode of The Sexology Lab, Alyssa shares how reality television unexpectedly gave her a platform for a career she was just beginning to build. She talks about being sexualized because of her profession, meeting the Spice Girls, giving her TED Talk The Power in Pleasure, and why she believes sexual-health professionals need real education behind the information they share online. She also explores how movies and television shape our understanding of sexuality, why myths like the hymen as proof of virginity remain so persistent, and what she's learned building a career that combines education, coaching, social media, and brand partnerships.