Social Skills is Canceled

Starfish Summer Camp week 1 recap

Social Skills is Canceled

Show Notes

While I absolutely love hanging out with students one on one, it is definitely not the most effective way to help them develop social skills. I am not their peer, our interactions will be different than those between them and kids/teens their own age, and I can't help them with challenges that I don't witness.

When kids and teens are in a social group I can see exactly how they interact, what they excel at socially, and how/why they are struggling when it comes to making and keeping friends.

I can (and do!) create situations where:

* I challenge my students' cognitive flexibility

* I showcase their strengths

*I honestly have no idea how things will turn out!

In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, I'm sharing everything that went on during our first week of summer camp.

Even if you live across the world and don't care about camp, I encourage you to check out this episode. I talk about all the activities we did, situations that came up, how we all handled them, and share strategies and suggestions for how anyone can help their kids/students be more socially successful.

Here's a clip from the episode:

One of the things, for any of us that are teachers, parents, counselors, anything, is for every one of our kids, we have to know their line. We have to know where the line is between how much we can push them without pushing them over the edge. And that line is in a different place for every kid. So that's something that's really important to me, for all of us that are with anybody really, even in friendships and romantic relationships, we all have that line. And so it's really important to me to find that line and to respect it.

With this student I knew that I could push him pretty far and we would be okay. And so I was pretty firm with him and I let him know that if he chose to isolate himself for the rest of the afternoon, totally fine. That's his decision. But it was going to be a really boring day because he wasn't going to be able to just hang out on his phone. If he chose to isolate himself he wouldn't be part of anything else that we were doing, and it was going to be a really long, boring day if that's what he chose to do. And then I walked away. Because my goal is to plant a seed in his brain. It's not to start an argument with him.

More from Social Skills is Canceled

Dec 15, 2025

Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious students who struggled with thinking about others during conversations. Sometimes they would say things that hurt other people's feelings or were perceived as rude or disrespectful, or even things that other people didn't really want to talk about or hear about. Sometimes these students would stop listening when people talked about things that they didn't care about. Sometimes they would even tell people they weren't interested in what the group or the person was talking about. I created the lesson I'm sharing today for all of these students. In this lesson, our students learn what a social filter is, how it's different than lying, and when and why using a social fake is a good idea. We also practice taking some of our common complaints that we might have and turning them into problem-solving opportunities.

Dec 8, 2025

Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious students who didn't know how to initiate a social conversation with someone that they knew. Some students weren't able to think of something that the person they were talking to liked or liked to talk about, so they ended up using generic conversation starters like, "Hey, what's up?" Or, "How's it going?" Some students were able to think of things they knew about the other person, but they didn't know how to use that information to start a conversation, so they didn't say anything. I created the lesson I'm sharing this week for all of these students. In this lesson, students learn the difference between an informational and a social conversation, and how to initiate a conversation with someone they know based on things they know about them.

Dec 1, 2025

Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious students who didn’t recognize that there were some things that should be ‘alone behaviors’, or things we do whenwe are by ourselves. Some students had developed habits around ‘picking’, likepicking their nose, picking their skin, and/or picking at their pants or underwear. Other students didn’t realize that most people don’t want tohear someone burp or fart, so they didn’t know how to respond when they did it accidentally, OR they didn’t put any effort into trying to not do these things in front of others. And then there were students who often complained to others, even about situations and experiences that those around them were also going through at the same time.

Nov 17, 2025

Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious kids and teens who struggled with staying on topic during a conversation. Some of the kids in this group continued talking about something, even when it was clear to everyone else that no one was interested in continuing to talk about that topic. Some students changed the topic every time they asked a question, unaware that others in the group had a hard time keeping up with all the changes and randomness, and that it really wasn't a conversation, it was more like an interview. And some of the kids had a hard time recognizing when others changed the topic, so they continued making comments about topics that the group had moved on from. There were also students in this group who got frustrated when the topic changed, because they still wanted to keep talking about that topic, and so they weren't able to change and shift with the group when the topic changed, as it always does. I created the lesson I'm sharing this week for all of these students. In this lesson, students learn how and when to change the topic appropriately, why they or others may choose to change the topic, and how to handle topic changes that they weren't wanting or expecting.

Nov 10, 2025

Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious students who didn't know that there are stages or levels between strangers and friends. Sometimes these students treat people they kind of knew like they were strangers, not acknowledging them when they saw them. Sometimes they didn't know how to engage in small talk with people they kind of knew, so interactions were pretty awkward. And some students thought everyone they knew was their friend, which meant they were often too friendly or too personal with people they only kind of knew. And the reality is that most people in our lives are people we only kind of know. I created the lesson I'm sharing on this week's podcast for all of these students. In this lesson, I teach students that an acquaintance is someone we recognize from somewhere or something. We usually know their name, but not always. This can include students in our class or our group, neighbors, teachers, and friends of our parents. We also talk about what the social expectations are when we are around acquaintances, like small talk and introductions to other people.

See all episodes →