Show Notes
What happens when the truth you have been avoiding becomes the only way forward? For Aaron Tabacco, PhD, that moment came in midlife, after years of trying to reconcile his identity, his faith, his marriage, and the family he loved deeply. In this deeply human conversation, Cari and Aaron explore authenticity, self-acceptance, grief, family transformation, and the courage it takes to stop living inside a false story. Aaron shares how coming out as gay became not the destruction he feared, but the beginning of a profound healing journey for himself, his former wife, and their three sons. Together they reflect on the need to be chosen, the hidden cost of abandoning ourselves, and what can happen when we begin to claim sovereignty over our own lives. Aaron also shares how his family chose to rewrite the traditional story of divorce, creating their own rituals of release, commitment, and love. Through the lens of executive coaching, emotional resilience, mental health, and personal growth, this episode asks what becomes possible when we stop turning away from the parts of ourselves that frighten us most. Sometimes the path to safety begins with telling the truth. And sometimes our deepest strength is waiting inside our greatest fear. The Treasures in the Trash: Being chosen can become a substitute for choosing ourselves – When our sense of worth depends on being seen, accepted, or selected by others, we can slowly disappear from our own lives. The stories that keep us safe can eventually become the stories that keep us stuck – What once felt necessary for belonging may no longer reflect who we are or the life we are ready to live. Telling the truth changes more than one life – Aaron discovered that hiding his suffering was not protecting his family because the pain he carried was already reaching the people he loved. We are allowed to write a different ending – By refusing the traditional scripts around coming out and divorce, Aaron and his family created their own language for love, release, commitment, and belonging. Our deepest fear may be holding our deepest strength – When we stop turning away from what frightens us and meet it with honesty, we may discover that the place we feared most is also where our freedom lives.
About Aaron: Aaron Tabacco, PhD, has spent more than thirty years guiding people through growth and change, often in complex and high-stakes environments. He currently serves as the Director of Staff Experience at a major academic health sciences university. With a background spanning nursing, neuroscience, education, coaching, and mediation, his work centers on helping individuals and organizations navigate identity, connection, and transformation with greater clarity and care. Known for his grounded presence and compassionate communication, Aaron works with students, clinicians, faculty, executives, and senior leaders across healthcare and other industries. His approach integrates relational depth, reflective practice, and a commitment to creating more humane, integrated ways of working and living. He works in San Francisco, California, and lives in Vancouver, Washington, where he continues a lifelong engagement with writing, music, and the landscapes of the Pacific Northwest alongside his husband and three adult sons. https://www.linkedin.com/in/aaron-tabacco-phd-83359b9/ https://lucusgroup.com/home https://substack.com/@aarontabacco?r=b5ap9&utm_medium=ios https://www.youtube.com/@CirclesEdges About Cari: Cari Jacobs-Crovetto is an executive and leadership coach and the founder of Brave Directions, where she works with senior leaders and C-suite executives to strengthen interpersonal and team relationships, navigate conflict skillfully, and deepen self-awareness, influence, and confidence. Before becoming a coach, Cari spent three decades in marketing and product leadership roles across Fortune 100 companies, media networks, consulting firms, and venture-backed startups. In 2019, she was named one of Forbes
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What happens to your communication when someone pushes exactly the right button? Strategy can disappear quickly when the nervous system feels threatened. We become defensive, rush to prove our point, or get pulled into the emotional energy of the person across from us. The conversation may still be happening, but we are no longer fully present inside it. Amy and trial lawyer Jennifer Gardner explore what it takes to remain grounded when the stakes are high. Drawing from decades inside intense courtroom situations, Jennifer shares why self-regulation is not separate from effective communication. It is what makes clear thinking, presence, and persuasion possible in the first place. Their conversation moves from grounding through the body to the deeper work of humanizing the person on the other side. Jennifer also examines the line between ethical persuasion and manipulation, including how likability, empathy, and emotional connection can be used either in service of understanding or as tools for control. The goal is not to become impossible to trigger. It is to recognize the moment you are losing yourself, return to what matters, and choose how you want to respond before fear, ego, or defensiveness chooses for you. Moments That Create Momentum: Don’t Take the Bait – Explore why regulating yourself first can keep conflict from deciding how you communicate. Come Back to the Body – Learn how grounding and breath can help restore clarity when the pressure around you begins to escalate. Humanize Before You Persuade – Discover why understanding another person’s reality can make communication more compelling without abandoning your own position. Notice the Shadow of Persuasion – Recognize how likability and emotional connection can create influence, and when those same tools begin to feel manipulative. Hard Truths Still Need to Be Spoken – See how difficult conversations can create greater inner peace when your actions remain aligned with what you believe.
Where do Harry Potter and childhood trauma meet? For author Barbara Latinka, the connection is deeply personal. Growing up with Harry Potter, she saw more than a magical adventure. She saw a neglected, mistreated child discover that he had power—and that his beginnings did not have to determine his future. Years later, while working through her own childhood trauma in therapy, Barbara found a way to bring that possibility into her own storytelling. Her three-book series, Spells for Surviving a Haunted Childhood, tells her life story through magical realism. Darkness becomes a shape-shifting monster. Generational trauma becomes a curse she is determined to break. And each chapter ends with a “spell”—meditation, grounding, and mindfulness practices recast as invitations to discover a little magic within ourselves. In this moving conversation, Cari and Barbara explore how imagination can help us approach experiences we struggle to name—and how stories can offer more than escape. Sometimes, seeing ourselves in a character helps us feel less alone and imagine possibilities for our own lives. Barbara shares her journey through a childhood marked by addiction, neglect, and abuse, the enduring love of her grandfather, and the importance of finding a therapist who could truly understand her experience. Together, they explore what it means to be seen, to make room for difficult feelings, and to interrupt the patterns handed down through a family. Trauma can move through generations. But so can love. And sometimes the magic begins when we discover that the story we inherited is not the only story we can tell. The Treasures in the Trash: Stories can help us discover our own power – For Barbara, Harry Potter offered an image of a mistreated child whose future held belonging, courage, and possibility. Her books invite readers to imagine possibilities for themselves. Healing can have a language of its own – Shape-shifting monsters, generational curses, and grounding “spells” give Barbara a creative way to express experiences that once felt impossible to name. Trauma can be inherited, but so can love – Her grandfather’s love remained an inner source of support long after his death. The care we receive can become part of what we carry forward. Being seen matters—and finding the right support can take time – Barbara describes how a trusted friendship and a therapist who understood her childhood trauma helped her feel heard and supported. Difficult feelings deserve space without having to run the show – Barbara’s writing began with permission to feel anger and grief. Giving those emotions a place in her story helped her begin imagining what could come next.
What if the moment you feel most triggered is also an opportunity for wisdom to emerge? In this Drops of Light, Vish explores the tension between debilitated Mars and exalted Jupiter through Vedic astrology, sharing how a simple pause can interrupt reactivity and create space for a more thoughtful response. Get your Personal Karmic Blueprint Reading - https://www.vishchatterji.com/karmic-snapshot About the Host: Vish Chatterji is an executive coach, Vedic Astrology teacher, author, and former business executive who helps people bridge ancient wisdom with modern life. After a career spanning engineering, entrepreneurship, and corporate leadership, he now guides leaders, founders, and seekers toward greater clarity through the traditions of Yoga, Meditation, Ayurveda, Vedic Philosophy, and Jyotish, the ancient science of light. Through his coaching practice, Head & Heart Insights, Vish combines practical business experience with timeless spiritual teachings, inviting people to lead and live with greater awareness, purpose, and presence. He is the author of The Business Casual Yogi and Astrology Decoded, and serves as a Faculty Coach and Educator with the Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute at UC Berkeley. https://www.vishchatterji.com/
What if play belongs in your day before the work is done? Mia Sundstrom, CEO of the National Institute for Play, joins Amy Lynn Durham, founder of Magic Thread Media, to explore why we’re wired to play and what happens when we keep pushing that impulse aside. Carrying forward the work of her grandfather, pioneering play researcher Dr. Stuart Brown, Mia brings a fresh perspective to productivity guilt, childhood curiosity, and the pressure to be good at everything we enjoy. Ahead of her TEDxClovis Play talk, Mia explores the connections between play, creativity, empathy, and human connection. She also raises a curious question for an AI-driven world: if we give machines room to experiment and learn through games, why are we leaving less room for people to do the same? From singing while getting ready to sharing a laugh at work, this conversation invites us to make a little space for play, even when there’s no score to keep or outcome to chase. Your Play Preview: A closer look at the science behind our instinct to play. A fresh perspective on the guilt that creeps in when we make time for fun. The surprising connection between play and how we relate to one another. An invitation to rethink what counts as play in a world full of screens. A curious parallel between how AI learns and the space we give ourselves to experiment.
What happens to play when we feel pressured to fit in? Dr. Kerry Magro joins Amy Lynn Durham, founder of Magic Thread Media, to explore how making room for our differences can open up more opportunities for joy, creativity, and connection. An autistic speaker, best-selling author, and autism consultant for Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum, Kerry shares how his childhood love of basketball and theater helped him engage with the world and discover possibilities that went far beyond other people’s expectations. Ahead of his TEDxClovis Power of Play talk, Kerry brings that conversation into our schools and workplaces, exploring bullying, belonging, and the assumptions that can leave people feeling excluded. From creating sensory-friendly Santa experiences to trying stand-up comedy, he offers a personal look at what play can make possible when people feel welcome to participate. It’s an invitation to get curious about our own ideas of playfulness, including whether the fun we’re creating makes room for everyone. Your Play Preview: Rethink how the pressure to fit in can quiet our playful side. Explore how childhood interests can open unexpected doors. Discover where allyship and belonging enter the conversation about play. Meet the sensory-friendly Santa making room for more holiday magic. Consider when humor brings people together and when it leaves someone out.