Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence

172. Why Do I Keep Making the Same Mistakes? | Malachy Dunne on Behaviour Change

Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence

Show Notes

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I sat down with Malachy Dunne to explore why changing our lives often requires unlearning the very things we've spent years believing.

We discuss how childhood experiences shape adult behaviour, why crisis and grief can become catalysts for growth, and the important difference between accepting reality and simply resigning ourselves to it. Malachy shares insights from his own journey, including sobriety, recovery and the process of developing greater self-awareness.

We also explore why information alone rarely changes us, how to interrupt automatic reactions, and why recognising that we have a choice can be the beginning of genuine freedom.

Because sometimes the biggest obstacle to becoming someone new is everything we've learned to believe about who we are.

Takeaways 👉 Realisation can be more powerful than information. Knowing something intellectually isn't the same as truly understanding it. 👉 Acceptance isn't resignation. You can acknowledge reality without giving up your ability to influence what happens next. 👉 Change often requires unlearning. We need to question the beliefs, behaviours and mental models we've carried for years. 👉 Self-awareness creates space for choice. Recognising your automatic reactions gives you an opportunity to respond differently. 👉 Crisis can become a catalyst for growth. Difficult experiences don't automatically make us stronger, but they can invite us to reconsider how we live.

Lifetime Therapy https://www.lifetimetherapy.co.uk/

Signed Copy Pre-order from West End Lane Bookshop https://www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/why-do-i-do-this-a-guide-to-building-a-stronger-relationship-with-yourself-by-johnny-lawrence-signed?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAcGRvZgJzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA85MzY2MTk3NDMzOTI0NTkAAadhSDmiWGqPgQROIxePqSe_eZFab36Wz1d-XDbCgunh-F-Kq0VH9uSAqYBFtQ_aem_Yzk9gJzJhtzKVqtUrbDGUg

JOIN THE BOOK WAITLIST https://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book

Kindle Pre-Order https://amzn.eu/d/0i3FBvUX

Website www.johnnylawrence.co.uk

Johnny’s Instagram https://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en

Podcast Instagram https://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en

The Slavey of Addiction Documentary https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin

More from Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence

Oct 21, 2026

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore what happens when the roles and responsibilities that have defined our lives begin to change, and we realise we're no longer sure who we are without them.

Oct 14, 2026

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore why we can become so dependent on other people's approval that we start losing touch with who we really are.

Oct 7, 2026

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore why we can become trapped by regret, replaying old mistakes and judging our past selves with the knowledge we have today. We look at the difference between regret and rumination, why context matters when looking back, and how comparing ourselves to an imaginary version of where we think we “should” be can keep us stuck. I also share practical ways to reframe your past, practise self-forgiveness and use what happened then to change what happens next. Because you can't change what happened. But you can change what it means.

Sep 30, 2026

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I sit down with Nina Aouilk, a life coach and survivor of profound trauma, to explore her remarkable journey from homelessness and adversity to self-love, faith and purpose. Nina shares how childhood trauma, fear and painful experiences shaped her identity, and what it took to begin rebuilding her life. We explore the courage it takes to live authentically, the importance of boundaries and why learning to say no can be an act of self-respect. We also discuss emotional regulation, spirituality, healing and the power of small, consistent steps. Finding yourself is less about becoming someone else and more about finding the courage to be who you really are.

Sep 23, 2026

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore one of the most misunderstood patterns in human behaviour: self-sabotage. What if you're not actually trying to sabotage yourself? What if the behaviour you're calling self-sabotage is actually an attempt to self-soothe, pulling you back to something familiar and comfortable when fear or uncertainty feels uncomfortable? I explore how behavioural loops, identity, familiarity, and fear can keep us repeating patterns we know aren't helping us, and why success can sometimes feel more threatening than failure. Most importantly, I look at how curiosity and self-awareness can help us interrupt those patterns and develop healthier responses to discomfort.

See all episodes →