Episode 173 - The Motivational Triad: Why Avoiding the Hard Conversation Feels So Good
The Ex-Good Girl PodcastShow Notes
Is there a difficult conversation you know you need to have but keep putting off? You may have noticed that every time you decide to wait, you feel a little better even though you’re avoiding something you actually want to do. That relief is real, and in this episode, we’re breaking down the motivational triad and why people-pleasing and avoiding conflict can feel so good in the short term, even when they’re creating results you don’t want. Because once you understand what’s happening, you can start practicing a different response: having the hard conversation instead of dropping hints that something is wrong, waiting for the other person to change, or continuing to endure a situation you don’t want to be in. Here’s what I cover:
A framework called the motivational triad that describes the three things human beings are strongly motivated to do: seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy Why knowing something isn’t working long-term doesn’t erase the short-term reward How overthinking can become another way of avoiding discomfort while making you feel like you’re solving the problem What it looks like to have compassion for your brain while you learn a new way of responding Why the capacity to tolerate discomfort and take care of yourself matters more than false certainty that a difficult conversation will go well
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