296. Pleasure Is Part Of Healing, Not The Reward For It | with Dr. Kimberly Pendleton

When life gets busy, intimacy can easily become something couples only think about when they're having sex. In this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD introduces the concept of intimacy dates: intentional time set aside to cultivate emotional, sensual, physical, and erotic connection without the pressure or expectation that it has to lead to sex. Alexandra explains why decoupling intimacy from sex creates more safety, relaxation, playfulness, and desire, and shares practical ideas for creating intimacy dates that fit your relationship, energy levels, and personality. She also explains how these small, consistent moments of connection can have a compounding effect, creating more tenderness, vulnerability, and joy in your marriage. 50 Ideas for Intimacy Dates: alexandrastockwell.com/ideas Subscribe To The Intimate Marriage Podcast: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect With Alexandra Stockwell, MD: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Alexandra Stockwell, MD here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download the first chapter of Alexandra Stockwell, MD’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Alexandra Stockwell, MD’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.alignedhotmarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join Alexandra Stockwell, MD’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights, and opportunities to learn with her: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Having stronger, more satisfying orgasms has nothing to do with your age. It’s about understanding your body, your relationship, and what actually works for you now. In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell, MD answers a question from a woman who wants to know how to teach her husband to create the kind of intimacy and orgasms she experienced when she was younger. Her answer goes far beyond what happens in the bedroom. Alexandra breaks the process into three essential areas: cultivating emotional intimacy before sex, slowing down and becoming more attuned to the body during sex, and taking responsibility for your own physical and sexual awareness. She explains why women often need more time to warm up, why moving from the periphery toward the center matters, and how experimenting with edging can expand the intensity of orgasmic experiences. She also emphasizes the importance of knowing your own body. Understanding what feels good, where you like to be touched, and how you respond gives you the ability to communicate with your partner clearly and confidently. In this episode, you'll discover: - Why emotional intimacy sets the stage for sexual intimacy - How to create more time and space for arousal - Why confidence and attunement matter inside and outside the bedroom - How edging can expand erotic energy and orgasmic intensity - Why knowing your own body makes communication with your partner easier - How physical and physiological health factor into sexual pleasure You don't have to recreate the sex you had in your 20s. You get to discover what feels even better now. May you have richer, more satisfying orgasms, and more intimacy along the way.

What happens when we stop treating sexual health as something separate from overall health? For many women, sexual vitality, sensation, arousal, and pleasure gradually change with age, yet these experiences rarely receive the attention they deserve in conventional medicine. In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell, MD sits down with Dr. Debra Durst, known as “The SexMD,” to explore the fourth element of great sex in a long-term relationship: physical health and vitality. Dr. Durst shares how her own journey from emergency medicine to sexual wellness revealed a major gap in healthcare, and why women deserve comprehensive care that addresses sexual function, not simply reproduction or disease prevention. They discuss sexual rejuvenation therapies, hormones, blood flow, erectile tissue, arousal, orgasmic strength, and the experience of feeling more fully connected to your body. Alexandra also shares her own experience receiving treatments at Dr. Durst’s clinic and the striking sense of physical awakening and wholeness she experienced afterward. In this episode, you'll discover: - The four elements required for great sex in a long-term relationship - Why female sexual health receives far less attention than it deserves - What sexual rejuvenation therapy actually addresses - How blood flow, nerve regeneration, and erectile tissue relate to arousal and pleasure - Why sexual vitality deserves attention throughout every stage of life - How Dr. Durst built a practice focused on comprehensive sexual wellness Dr. Durst’s message is simple and powerful: sexual health is not taboo, and we are never too old to embrace sexual creativity, vitality, and pleasure. Learn more about Dr. Debra Durst and RevitalyzeMD: https://www.revitalyzemd.com/ Watch Alexandra Stockwell, MD and Dr. Durst on the SexMD podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ru_mGdHug0

When couples feel disconnected sexually, they often focus on sex itself. But one of the most powerful ways to rebuild closeness is found in a different kind of intimacy: non-sexual physical touch. In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell, MD explores how intentional physical affection creates safety, connection, and attunement between partners. From holding hands and cuddling to giving a massage or simply putting an arm around your spouse, these small moments of touch communicate care without creating pressure or expectations around sex. Alexandra also explains why touch often disappears when couples are out of sync sexually, navigating infertility, or simply overwhelmed by parenting. She offers a practical framework for understanding what kind of touch feels best for each partner, including pressure, pace, and location, and explains why being fully present while touching your spouse makes the experience even more meaningful. In this episode, you'll discover: • Why non-sexual touch is essential for emotional and physical intimacy • How to create affection without making your partner feel pressured for sex • The three variables that determine whether touch feels connecting: pressure, pace, and location • Why your attention matters just as much as the physical touch itself • How everyday affection helps your bodies relax and release emotional armor • Why non-sexual touch actually enhances your sexual connection

None of us gets to choose the family we were raised in. But we do get to decide which patterns we carry forward and which ones end with us. In this special 300th episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD sits down with her husband, Rodd Stockwell, MD, for an unusually personal conversation about fatherhood, family, and the choices that shaped their marriage and their children’s lives. Rodd reflects on growing up with a distant father and the intentional decisions he made to become the kind of father he wanted to be, while Alexandra shares what it looked like for both of them to navigate major changes in work, parenting, and partnership. Together, they explore what it really takes to become more emotionally present, why conflict and discomfort are worth moving through, and how the relationship skills developed in a marriage naturally ripple into the way we parent. In this episode, you'll discover: • How Rodd broke patterns from his own childhood to become a deeply present father• Why being physically available isn't the same as being emotionally present• How curiosity became a powerful tool for connecting with their children• Why rescuing your partner can actually interfere with long-term growth• How navigating conflict in your marriage teaches children how to handle conflict themselves• Why breaking generational patterns requires intentional choices, not perfection The greatest gift we give our children isn't a perfect childhood. It's the experience of seeing adults choose connection, work through discomfort, repair after conflict, and create something healthier than what came before.