King Scott's Stinky Mascot Punishment, Ghost Cuddles & Broke Millionaires

Ever wonder why everybody seems to have a birthday in September? Apparently, the holidays are a lot more festive than we realized. Add a Taylor Swift ticket scam, a suspicious soccer-ticket handoff in London, and an Instagram algorithm obsessed with shark attacks, and you've got another perfectly normal morning on The Rizzuto Show. Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, Rafe Williams, and King Scott are back with another funny podcast packed with weird news, embarrassing family revelations, celebrity gossip, rock music, Halloween horror, and the kind of conversations that make you wonder whether anybody in this studio has ever successfully completed a background check. First up, why are September birthdays so ridiculously common? Rizz discovers a birthday ranking showing that 12 of the 15 most common birthdays fall between September 8th and September 21st, with September 9th taking the number-one spot. Naturally, the crew immediately starts doing some very uncomfortable calendar math. Nine months before September? That's right. December. Christmas. New Year's Eve. Holiday parties. Mistletoe. People making decisions that eventually require buying diapers. And things get even weirder when Rizz and Rafe realize their fathers are both named Dennis and share the same September 9th birthday. That's an adorable coincidence until you start thinking about what their grandparents were doing around the holidays. The gang also examines the rarest birthdays, including February 29th, Christmas Day, New Year's Day, and other major holidays. Everyone starts checking their own birthday rankings, and Moon discovers he's apparently a limited-edition human being. At least according to the calendar. Then Rizz brings up a story about a Canadian couple who scammed Taylor Swift fans out of approximately $190,000 by selling concert tickets that didn't exist. The scheme involved fans paying for promised Eras Tour tickets, only to discover that nothing was waiting in their inboxes when the concerts arrived. That brings back some uncomfortable memories for Rizz, who nearly lost hundreds of dollars while trying to score Taylor Swift tickets for his daughter. Rafe had helped track down what sounded like a promising deal: two available seats, a believable price, and a story about kids who supposedly couldn't attend. Unfortunately, the only thing missing was proof that the tickets existed. Thankfully, they caught the red flags before sending money. Meanwhile, Moon shares his own wildly suspicious ticket-buying adventure in London, where he purchased a Chelsea soccer ticket through an unfamiliar reseller and was instructed to meet a stranger on a street corner near a mailbox. Nothing says legitimate sporting event like waiting for a mystery man to appear with an envelope. Against all odds, the guy actually showed up, handed Moon a ticket, and disappeared. Even more shockingly, the ticket worked. Moon got to watch the match, and the crew got another reminder that his survival instincts are apparently powered by blind optimism. The conversation continues into the absolute nightmare of concert ticket bots and resale prices, as Lern discusses a Garth Brooks concert sale in Kansas City that was reportedly overwhelmed by automated ticket buyers. Rizz and the gang debate whether it's time to bring back old-school box office sales, physical tickets, and the ancient tradition of actually standing in line like a human being. Remember when buying concert tickets was merely inconvenient instead of requiring a cybersecurity team and a second mortgage? Then it's time for Lern's Crap on Celebrities, where things get wonderfully ridiculous. Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett reads Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven for Halloween, inspiring the crew to revisit their encounters with Metallica, including Lern and Rafe meeting Kirk and Robert Trujillo, and Rizz's interview with James Hetfield. Moon and Rizz also tease the unboxing of an extremely rare Gibson guitar, while the gang revisits Metallica'

A naked man takes a stroll through a Missouri nature preserve, a three-year-old soccer superstar gets benched, and his parents somehow turn a children's soccer game into a police matter. Welcome to Tuesday on The Rizzuto Show, where the kids might actually be the most responsible people in the room. Rizz, Moon Valjean, King Scott, Lern, and Rafe Williams are back with another funny podcast full of weird news, St. Louis stories, terrible parenting decisions, internet slang, and conversations that absolutely did not need to get this personal before breakfast. King Scott got a yellow card on the show today and spun the wheel after losing this week's Pickem Challenge. What punishment will he serve? Is hooking up with a ghost technically cheating? And what if that ghost happens to be a former First Lady? Welcome to The Rizzuto Show, where a perfectly normal conversation about the paranormal somehow turns into an investigation of George Washington's marriage. Things get weird immediately when Rizz asks the crew whether they know anyone who's had a romantic encounter with a ghost. Because apparently that's a completely reasonable question to ask your coworkers before breakfast. Lern recalls a particularly memorable dream involving a pilgrim—or possibly the Quaker Oats guy—while Moon shares a story about a tour bus driver who claimed to have an unexplained encounter in a hotel room. Then the conversation turns to celebrities who have claimed paranormal experiences, including Dan Aykroyd and Kesha, and suddenly the entire studio is debating the rules of supernatural infidelity. If you're married and a ghost makes a move, does that count as cheating? What about a vampire? An alien? Does your wedding vow apply across dimensions? These are the important questions nobody asked, and naturally, The Rizzuto Show is determined to answer them. But the real disaster begins when someone brings up Mary Todd Lincoln and Martha Washington. What starts as a discussion about which historical First Lady might make an attractive ghost quickly becomes a completely unhinged comparison of presidential portraits. The crew notices a resemblance between George and Martha Washington, and before anyone can restore order, they're joking that the nation's first president and his wife might have been the same person. That's right. George Washington as his own First Lady. It's not an actual historical revelation, obviously. It's just the kind of ridiculous conspiracy theory that happens when four adults spend too much time staring at old paintings and not nearly enough time doing their jobs. Somewhere, a history teacher just threw a textbook across the room. Meanwhile, Lern delivers another round of Crap on Celebrities, and the entertainment world isn't making things any easier. Metallica's Las Vegas Sphere performances are causing a disagreement in the studio. Rizz and Lern think the band's professionally released concert footage might be spoiling the experience for fans who haven't attended yet. Moon isn't quite as convinced. Is watching an entire performance online before seeing it live the musical equivalent of reading the ending of a movie? The crew also discusses new music from The Flaming Lips, Noel Gallagher's surprisingly enthusiastic admiration for Matthew McConaughey, and the bizarre revelation that Gallagher once displayed a life-size cardboard cutout of the actor in his front window. That naturally leads to a conversation about the crew's own cardboard cutouts, including Rizz's habit of moving his around the house. Because apparently having a life-size version of yourself isn't unsettling enough unless you occasionally put it in bed. There's plenty more celebrity and pop culture commentary, including the crew's reaction to a reported Chris Brown legal case, a discussion of Jay-Z and the Super Bowl halftime show, and news involving Keanu Reeves, a Baywatch revival, and Sacha Baron Cohen's return to Ali G. Then it's time for some horror talk as the gang

What happens when the most laid-back wrestler in AEW meets a radio show full of grown men who believe jeans are survival equipment? Apparently, a beautiful friendship is born. And somebody might be getting a custom denim duster. AEW superstar Orange Cassidy joins Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, and Rafe Williams in the studio for another funny podcast packed with professional wrestling stories, questionable fashion advice, fast-food disasters, and injuries that will make you appreciate your boring office job. First up, the crew tackles one of the most controversial returns in fast-food history: the McRib is back! Orange Cassidy admits there's something strangely exciting about a sandwich that disappears and reappears whenever McDonald's feels like messing with everybody. Rizz thinks it's gross, Rafe loves it, and Lern introduces everyone to the horrifying sight of an unsauced McRib. Apparently, barbecue sauce isn't just a condiment. It's a disguise. Orange takes one look at the gray, suspiciously rib-shaped creation and immediately questions whether he wants it anywhere near his body. A perfectly reasonable response from a man who regularly gets thrown around a wrestling ring. Then the conversation turns to Orange Cassidy's true passion: denim. Jeans in the wrestling ring? Absolutely. Jeans on airplanes? Obviously. Jeans for practically every occasion? Why would anyone wear anything else? Orange explains why he prefers wrestling in denim, how modern stretchy jeans have changed the game, and why he considers the fabric a protective layer between himself and the rest of humanity. That's when Rafe Williams reveals his theory about airplane survival: if a plane crashes and the survivors need to elect a leader, nobody's choosing the guy wearing sweatpants and Crocs. They're choosing the man in jeans and work boots. Orange Cassidy agrees so enthusiastically that Rafe may have finally found his soulmate. And the denim bonding doesn't stop there. Rafe tells the tragic story of his teenage attempt to reinvent himself with a full-length, acid-wash denim duster. What was supposed to be a legendary fashion statement became a school-day disaster when an upperclassman tore the coat apart almost immediately. Orange is genuinely impressed. The two start discussing matching denim dusters, water skiing in jeans, and the possibility of Lern's mom making custom outfits. Somewhere, Levi's marketing department is wondering why nobody invited them. The crew also gets into Orange Cassidy's famously relaxed wrestling persona. While other wrestlers scream, flex, and cover themselves in body oil, Orange prefers to keep things simple, move at his own pace, and occasionally wrestle with his hands in his pockets. He even reveals a backstage wrestling secret: some performers use conditioner to keep their hair looking wet during matches. Meanwhile, Orange's hair apparently looks fantastic without any effort, which Lern finds personally offensive. Then things take a much more painful turn. Orange Cassidy opens up about some of the worst injuries of his professional wrestling career, including a separated shoulder, a torn pectoral muscle, a broken leg, and a devastating facial injury. He describes getting kneed in the face, breaking the orbital bone and sinus area, and experiencing a frightening amount of bleeding afterward. He also recalls a shoulder injury that required medical professionals to pull his arm back into position. Suddenly, the guy wrestling in jeans doesn't seem quite so ridiculous. Orange also talks about the nonstop schedule of professional wrestling, life on the road, and why he genuinely enjoys living out of a suitcase. With AEW operating year-round, his rare extended breaks have mostly come courtesy of injuries. Not exactly the vacation package anybody wants. The conversation gets musical when Orange explains the inspiration behind his entrance themes, Jefferson Starship's "Jane" and the Pixies' "Where Is My Mind?" His original connection to "Ja

Is hooking up with a ghost technically cheating? And what if that ghost happens to be a former First Lady? Welcome to The Rizzuto Show, where a perfectly normal conversation about the paranormal somehow turns into an investigation of George Washington's marriage. Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, and Rafe Williams are back with another funny podcast packed with supernatural relationship questions, wildly questionable American history theories, rock news, celebrity gossip, and the kind of morning show chaos that makes you wonder whether anyone checked the microphones before turning them on. Things get weird immediately when Rizz asks the crew whether they know anyone who's had a romantic encounter with a ghost. Because apparently that's a completely reasonable question to ask your coworkers before breakfast. Lern recalls a particularly memorable dream involving a pilgrim—or possibly the Quaker Oats guy—while Moon shares a story about a tour bus driver who claimed to have an unexplained encounter in a hotel room. Then the conversation turns to celebrities who have claimed paranormal experiences, including Dan Aykroyd and Kesha, and suddenly the entire studio is debating the rules of supernatural infidelity. If you're married and a ghost makes a move, does that count as cheating? What about a vampire? An alien? Does your wedding vow apply across dimensions? These are the important questions nobody asked, and naturally, The Rizzuto Show is determined to answer them. But the real disaster begins when someone brings up Mary Todd Lincoln and Martha Washington. What starts as a discussion about which historical First Lady might make an attractive ghost quickly becomes a completely unhinged comparison of presidential portraits. The crew notices a resemblance between George and Martha Washington, and before anyone can restore order, they're joking that the nation's first president and his wife might have been the same person. That's right. George Washington as his own First Lady. It's not an actual historical revelation, obviously. It's just the kind of ridiculous conspiracy theory that happens when four adults spend too much time staring at old paintings and not nearly enough time doing their jobs. Somewhere, a history teacher just threw a textbook across the room. Meanwhile, Lern delivers another round of Crap on Celebrities, and the entertainment world isn't making things any easier. Metallica's Las Vegas Sphere performances are causing a disagreement in the studio. Rizz and Lern think the band's professionally released concert footage might be spoiling the experience for fans who haven't attended yet. Moon isn't quite as convinced. Is watching an entire performance online before seeing it live the musical equivalent of reading the ending of a movie? The crew also discusses new music from The Flaming Lips, Noel Gallagher's surprisingly enthusiastic admiration for Matthew McConaughey, and the bizarre revelation that Gallagher once displayed a life-size cardboard cutout of the actor in his front window. That naturally leads to a conversation about the crew's own cardboard cutouts, including Rizz's habit of moving his around the house. Because apparently having a life-size version of yourself isn't unsettling enough unless you occasionally put it in bed. There's plenty more celebrity and pop culture commentary, including the crew's reaction to a reported Chris Brown legal case, a discussion of Jay-Z and the Super Bowl halftime show, and news involving Keanu Reeves, a Baywatch revival, and Sacha Baron Cohen's return to Ali G. Then it's time for some horror talk as the gang tries to identify the greatest Stephen King books, debating classics like The Shining, Carrie, Pet Sematary, Misery, and Salem's Lot. The conversation somehow becomes a competition to remember book titles, movie adaptations, and whether anybody actually knows what they're talking about. The episode also includes a heartfelt shoutout to the show's video guy Zane, who recently g

A naked man takes a stroll through a Missouri nature preserve, a three-year-old soccer superstar gets benched, and his parents somehow turn a children's soccer game into a police matter. Welcome to Tuesday on The Rizzuto Show, where the kids might actually be the most responsible people in the room. Rizz, Moon Valjean, King Scott, Lern, and Rafe Williams are back with another funny podcast full of weird news, St. Louis stories, terrible parenting decisions, internet slang, and conversations that absolutely did not need to get this personal before breakfast. First up, a 32-year-old High Ridge man is facing a sexual misconduct charge after allegedly walking completely naked along a trail at a Missouri nature preserve. A witness reportedly photographed both the man and his vehicle, giving investigators more evidence than anyone ever wanted to collect during a peaceful outdoor walk. Naturally, this sends the crew into a completely unnecessary investigation of classic trench-coat flashers, New York City subway experiences, Seinfeld, and the apparently universal question of what kind of coat a person wears when they're planning to ruin somebody else's afternoon. Lern shares stories about women encountering unwanted public exposure, while the guys somehow manage to turn the entire conversation into a debate about trench-coat fashion. Somewhere, a park ranger is reconsidering their career. Then things get even more ridiculous when a three-year-old soccer phenom named Nevada becomes the center of a viral youth sports controversy in Winter Park, Florida. According to the story discussed on the show, Nevada was so talented that he was dominating games against five-year-olds. The league tried to give other children a chance to play, his parents reportedly became disruptive, and police were eventually called. To be clear, the police weren't called because a toddler was too good at soccer. They were called over the adults' behavior. Which is somehow both reassuring and incredibly depressing. The crew debates whether Nevada deserves tougher competition, whether the league handled things properly, and why some parents treat instructional soccer like the World Cup final. Moon and Rizz share their own youth sports horror stories, including parents screaming at coaches, games interrupted by police, and one particularly memorable adult allegedly showing up with a briefcase full of bricks. A briefcase. Full of bricks. And people wonder why youth sports need security. The discussion also takes a surprisingly wholesome turn when Scott spots a group of neighborhood teenagers playing the classic game of ding-dong ditch. Instead of getting angry, he's delighted to see that kids still know how to cause a little harmless mischief without turning it into a social media challenge. Rafe remembers neighborhood dads who made Halloween pranks more entertaining by dressing as scarecrows and chasing kids around, while Rizz recalls sitting in his driveway dressed as a giant white rabbit. Because nothing says childhood memories quite like a grown man in a bunny suit. Meanwhile, Dictionary.com's Word of the Year sparks another generational crisis when the gang tries to understand the internet slang term maxing. From looksmaxing to sleepmaxing, apparently everything now needs to be optimized to an absurd degree. That leads to arguments about whether saying somebody "ate" is a compliment, whether "lit" is officially dead, and what exactly the infamous Gen Z stare is supposed to communicate. The crew realizes they're becoming the adults who need teenagers to explain the English language to them, and nobody is handling it particularly well. But beneath all the jokes, the show also digs into a more serious topic: bigorexia, or muscle dysmorphia, and the growing pressure on young men to build bigger, more muscular bodies. Rizz and Lern discuss how social media, fitness influencers, gym culture, and unrealistic body expectations can affect teenagers. The crew shares stori