Show Notes
Welcome to Episode 502 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Jane Garnett, LMFT who speaks to me about how our attraction patterns develop and whether we change who we are drawn to. In this episode, Jane and I discuss why we can have so much attraction to people who are emotionally unavailable or unable to give us the secure relationship we want. We also look at how attachment styles, cultural conditioning, unmet emotional needs, and past relationship experience can influence what is exciting or desirable. Jane Garnett is an Oxford-educated speaker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), EMDR practitioner, and author of This Time with Feeling (May 12, 2026). With nearly 20 years in private practice, her work often centers on high-functioning individuals whose lives look successful on the outside but are shaped by patterns of emotional disconnection, anxiety, or underlying dissatisfaction. As a psychotherapist, Jane helps people rewrite the beliefs that subconsciously shape their lives, recognize the scripts they inherited, listen to the body’s signals, and make choices that create actual safety and connection— helping them shift not just their circumstances, but their relationship to themselves and their lives.
In this episode, you will hear: Changing Our Attraction Patterns Understanding Unhealthy Relationship Templates When Chaos Feels Like Chemistry Attraction To Emotionally Unavailable Partners Cultural Messages About Desire Exploring The Meaning Of Fantasy Affairs As A Form Of Splitting Learning To Choose Yourself Regulating The Nervous System Rewiring Relationships Through EMDR
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Can sex create an altered state of consciousness without psychedelic substances? For some people, deeply present sexual experiences can involve changes in time perception, heightened sensory awareness, a softened sense of self, emotional release, and an intense feeling of connection. In Episode 513 of the Sexology Podcast, Dr. Nazanin Moali speaks with AASECT-certified sex therapist and psychedelic therapist Dori Lewis about why sex can sometimes feel psychedelic and how mindfulness, ritual, safety, and intentional touch may deepen pleasure and intimacy. This conversation is not about having sex while using psychedelic substances. Instead, Dori explores how sexual experiences themselves can produce shifts in awareness that may feel expansive, transcendent, or transformative. Dori and Dr. Moali discuss why performance-focused sex can prevent people from accessing these deeper experiences. When your attention is focused on whether you are attractive enough, aroused enough, or performing correctly, it becomes harder to notice subtle sensations and remain connected to your body. You will also learn how slowing down, creating intentional rituals, practicing nonsexual touch, and communicating boundaries can support a greater sense of safety and connection. Dori explains why consent, nervous system regulation, and emotional trust are essential when exploring intense or vulnerable experiences. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN: • What an altered state of consciousness during sex can feel like • Why some sexual experiences may feel psychedelic • How mindfulness can deepen sexual pleasure • Why sensory awareness matters during intimacy • How performance pressure disconnects you from your body • How to create rituals for sexual connection • Why safety, boundaries, and consent support surrender • How parenthood can affect nervous system regulation and intimacy • How to communicate your needs and receive pleasure • How somatic practices may support embodied awareness • Why trauma-informed care matters during intense experiences • How nonsexual touch can help partners reconnect • How sex and psychedelic experiences may overlap and differ COMMON QUESTIONS ANSWERED: CAN SEX CREATE AN ALTERED STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS? Some people experience changes in their perception of time, sensory intensity, self-awareness, emotional openness, or connection during sex. These experiences can feel different from ordinary waking awareness, although they are not necessarily identical to substance-induced psychedelic states. WHY CAN SEX SOMETIMES FEEL PSYCHEDELIC? Intense sensory focus, emotional vulnerability, rhythmic movement, changes in breathing, pleasure, and a temporary reduction in self-monitoring may contribute to experiences that feel expansive or transcendent. DO YOU NEED PSYCHEDELIC SUBSTANCES TO HAVE THIS EXPERIENCE? No. This episode explores altered states that may occur through sexual connection, mindfulness, ritual, sensory awareness, and intentional touch without using psychedelic substances. HOW CAN MINDFULNESS DEEPEN SEXUAL EXPERIENCES? Mindfulness can help you notice physical sensations, emotions, boundaries, and shifts in arousal without immediately judging them. This may reduce performance pressure and make it easier to remain present. ABOUT DORI LEWIS Dori Lewis, MA, MEd, LPC-S, is the co-founder of Elemental Psychedelics and owner of Reflective Healing, a psychotherapy practice in Fort Collins, Colorado. She is a licensed professional counselor, psychedelic therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist. Dori has spent more than a decade working in transpersonal and depth-oriented approaches and has supported hundreds of ketamine and psilocybin therapy sessions. She also trains psychedelic practitioners and works at the intersection of sexuality, embodiment, and altered consciousness. LEARN MORE ABOUT DORI LEWIS: https://www.reflectivehealing.com/ DOWNLOAD THE FREE STRESS REDUCTION KIT: https://nazanin-moali.mykajabi.com/opt-in
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