
Christian Self-Help Is Lying to You. Dr. Henry Cloud on What Real Change Actually Requires.
Win Today: Your Roadmap to WholenessShow Notes
You have tried harder. You have read the books, made the commitments, restarted the plan, and believed — genuinely believed — that this time would be different. And yet, five years later, you are looking at the same patterns, the same walls, the same version of yourself you were trying to leave behind. The failure is not a motivation problem. It is not a willpower problem. It is something deeper, something that the self-help industry cannot name because naming it would dismantle the entire enterprise. Dr. Henry Cloud joins me for his third conversation on Win Today, and what he brings to the table this time is a confrontation with one of the most quietly destructive lies inside Christian growth culture: that knowledge is enough, that effort is enough, that the right tips applied with sufficient sincerity will eventually produce the life you want. Cloud dismantles that lie at the root. He explains why strength always begins in weakness, why your limitations are not obstacles to your growth but the very doorway through it, and why the passage everyone quotes — "the truth shall set you free" — has been systematically separated from the condition that precedes it. We also go deep into the relational patterns that quietly destroy families, churches, and teams: the victim-rescuer-persecutor triangle and how triangulation turns ordinary conflict into a cycle of division no one can escape from the inside. And Cloud offers one of the sharpest cultural diagnoses I have heard in years — on what the word "triggered" has come to mean and why its inflation is itself a sign of something unhealed. If you have been doing the work but not getting anywhere, this conversation will name what is actually going on underneath the surface. But it will not let you stay comfortable in the naming. Something is required of you: not more effort, but a different kind of openness — the kind that begins with admitting you cannot do this alone. Guest Bio Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, leadership consultant, and New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author whose books have sold nearly 20 million copies worldwide. His work integrates psychological science and biblical wisdom to address the deepest patterns that keep people and organizations from genuine growth. He consults with CEOs, Fortune 500 companies, and high-net-worth family offices, and he is the founder of drcloud.com, which hosts his personal growth platform. Show Partner SafeSleeve designs a phone case that blocks up to 99% of harmful EMF radiation—so I'm not carrying that kind of exposure next to my body all day. It's sleek, durable, and most importantly, lab-tested by third parties. The results aren't hidden—they're published right on their site. And that matters because many so-called EMF blockers on the market either don't work or can't prove they do. We protect our hearts and minds—why wouldn't we protect our bodies too? Head to safesleevecases.com and use the code WINTODAY10 for 10% off your order. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my book "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
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Somewhere along the way, the performance became the person, and now you can't tell where the effort to look faithful ends and actual faithfulness begins. You know the language of sin and repentance; you can name your type, and people call you disciplined, loyal, even authentic, yet underneath sits an exhaustion that trying harder has never touched. The mask you put on to stay approved and protected has been on so long that it now feels like your face. Chuck DeGroat returns with twenty-five years of sitting with pastors, leaders, and couples whose defenses have hardened into narcissism, which he insists runs on a spectrum that includes more of us than we'd admit. About Chuck DeGroat Chuck DeGroat is a professor of pastoral care and Christian spirituality at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan, where he also serves as founding executive director of the clinical mental health counseling program. A licensed therapist, spiritual director, and former pastor in Orlando and San Francisco, he has spent more than two decades counseling pastors and leaders on the narcissistic spectrum and those wounded by them, work he wrote about in When Narcissism Comes to Church. His newest book is Who You're Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my book "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
Sitting under preaching every Sunday is not the same as knowing the Scriptures well enough to recognize when you are being led somewhere the text never meant to take you. A sermon that never confronts your sin can feel like grace, until one day you realize that your discernment and your hunger for the Lord have drifted off course a few degrees at a time. The uncomfortable question is not whether false teaching exists, but whether you would recognize it if you heard it. Philip Anthony Mitchell, founder and lead pastor of 2819 Church in Atlanta, joins me for an urgent conversation about the state of the American church. About Philip Anthony Mitchell Philip Anthony Mitchell is the founder and lead pastor of 2819 Church in Atlanta, Georgia, a congregation named for the Great Commission in Matthew 28:19, and he is known for bold, Scripture-anchored gospel proclamation and an unflinching call to spiritual maturity. He has been married to Lena since 2004, and together they have four children. His debut book, Contend, draws on the letter of Jude to call believers to stand for biblical truth in the culture while fighting for faith in the hidden battles of the heart. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my book "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
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You've become very good at being seen. You know how to read a room, how to offer just enough of your story to seem open while keeping the deepest thing safely out of view, how to hand the world a competent, admirable version of yourself. And still, underneath the feed and the applause and the performance you have perfected, there is an ache you can no longer explain away, because you are surrounded and you are not known. In this conversation, Ian Simkins joins me to name the quiet distance between the platform and the table, and to expose how much of our exhaustion is simply the cost of maintaining an image our bodies, our nervous systems, and our spirits were never built to sustain. About Ian Simkins Ian Simkins is the lead pastor of The Bridge Church just outside Nashville, Tennessee, where he lives with his wife, Katie, and their three sons. Shaped for years in ministry in the Chicagoland area before moving his family to Middle Tennessee, he writes and teaches out of the actual life of a local church rather than from theory. His new book, Every Table an Altar: Reclaiming Connection in a World of Division, Distraction, and Loneliness (Zondervan), was born from that community, and it makes the case that the antidote to our disconnection is not another program or platform but the ordinary, sacred practice of gathering at a table. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my book "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
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