The Fast and the Furriest (Outlasting "Survival")

All the Doctor had to do was close the bloody TARDIS door. Instead, a sparkler from space hitches a ride to Renaissance Italy, recruits an astrologer, and sets out to stop humanity from ever getting too smart for its own good. The Masque of Mandragora looks like lavish BBC Shakespeare, sounds like a thesis on science vs. superstition, and somehow gives us skin-tight tights, cultists doing the Hokey Pokey and Tom Baker waving around a giant salami. Join us as we ask whether this gorgeous Hinchcliffe-era extravaganza is actually great Doctor Who — or just so gloriously camp that resistance is futile.

Some Doctor Who stories become legends because everyone has seen them. The Tomb of the Cybermen became one partly because, for decades, hardly anyone could. So when the long-lost Troughton classic finally busted out of cold storage, could the real thing possibly live up to the myth? Well… mostly. Patrick Troughton is at the height of his powers, the Cybermen have rarely sounded weirder or looked more iconic, and one quiet conversation with Victoria may be among the Second Doctor’s finest moments. Unfortunately, the tomb also contains some things better left buried: logic holes, 1960s sexism, and the deeply uncomfortable treatment of Toberman. Join us as we awaken the Cyber Controller, discover the Cybermen were apparently Banksy all along, and ask the most dangerous question on Telos: does this Doctor Who legend actually deserve its reputation?

Nikola Tesla invented our world. So why does Doctor Who keep trying to give him credit for WiFi? Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror has everything a great historical needs on paper: one of history’s weirdest geniuses, Thomas Edison as his foil, a terrific Goran Višnjić performance, and alien scavengers who could have been the cosmic extension of the Edison-Tesla rivalry. Instead, the sparks never quite make the jump. Join us as we investigate fan service without a payoff, a suspiciously Racnoss-y queen, Wardenclyffe science that probably never would have worked, Edison’s alleged elephant snuff film, Tesla’s belief in female supremacy, and the Douglas Adams-level idea hiding inside an episode that never quite realizes it. Alternating current? More like alternating quality.

There are Doctor Who stories that look cheap, and then there’s Underworld: the story so broke it couldn’t afford a cave. Its vast underground world was instead conjured with experimental CSO, earning the serial a reputation that has survived for nearly half a century. But hold the fumigation! Beneath those wobbly electronic rocks lurk some genuinely huge ideas: the Time Lords’ disastrous first attempt at interference, regeneration as immortality, a 100,000-year cosmic quest and K9 saving everybody with what appear to be telephone wires. Grab your Golden Fleece and join us as we ask the forbidden question: does Underworld actually… not suck?

Achoo! Humanity may have survived millions of years into the future, but apparently the common cold is still an extinction-level threat. The Ark sends the First Doctor, Steven and brand-new companion Dodo aboard an enormous generation ship packed with humans, Monoids, miniature criminals and one very real elephant—then delivers one of the greatest cliffhangers in Doctor Who history. Shame about what happens next. Join us as we jump 700 years into the future to investigate Beatles-wigged cyclopes, the galaxy’s biggest miniaturization plot hole, suspiciously accommodating invisible aliens, and a tale of colonial anxiety that looks very different through 2026 eyes. Just remember: if your mouth is also your eye, maybe don’t order the chicken.