126. When Both Parents Are Narcissistic: Surviving Childhood Without a Safe Adult

What happens when you change, but your family keeps holding onto an old version of you? This week on Mayhem, a conversation with my family brought me face-to-face with an old story about who I was growing up. We’re talking about why families can become invested in keeping certain stories about us intact, what can happen when our growth challenges those stories, and why healing doesn’t always require getting the people who knew us then to understand who we are now. You don’t have to do any of this alone. Join Us. MayhemDaughters.com/community

Why can setting a boundary with a narcissistic or emotionally unsafe mother feel completely different when she is actually standing in front of you? This week on Mayhem, we’re talking about what happens when you know what you want, make a plan, and still find yourself falling back into old patterns of accommodating your mother. We also look at what can happen when becoming a parent brings your own childhood back to the surface, and how to think about your parents’ relationship with your children when contact with them still comes at a cost. You don’t have to do any of this alone. Join us. MayhemDaughters.com/community

Growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother can leave daughters carrying shame into places they don’t even recognize as shame. In this episode, we’re talking about why shame can become such a powerful survival strategy, how it gets tangled up with needs, mistakes, attention, pleasure, and taking up space, and what can begin to change when you stop assuming shame is telling you the truth about who you are. You don’t have to do any of this alone. Join us: MayhemDaughters.com/community

What do you do when your narcissistic mother can look loving, supportive, or generous in public, but your private experience of her keeps telling you something very different? This week on Mayhem, we’re talking about the confusion that can come when other people see a version of your mother that doesn’t match the one you know. We look at how one loving gesture can make daughters question years of experience, how easily old family dynamics can pull you away from yourself, and the questions that can help you decide what you actually want next.| You don’t have to do any of this alone. Join us. ⁠MayhemDaughters.com/community⁠

What happens when your narcissistic mother turns the family against you and everyone starts treating you like the problem? This week on Mayhem, we’re talking about what can happen when a difficult mother-daughter relationship spreads into the rest of the family. We look at triangulation, family scapegoating, smear campaigns, enmeshment, and the pressure daughters often feel to keep the peace or hold the family together, even when doing so costs them. We also talk about what it means to trust your own experience when other family members have accepted a very different version of the story. This episode includes discussion of childhood abuse, sexual boundary violations, eating disorders, family manipulation, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts. Please take care of yourself while listening. Join the community: MayhemDaughters.com/community