Show Notes
Okay friends! It’s Friday night, I’m solo parenting, one kid asleep, one doing that thing where you think they’re asleep but they’re not… so here we are. I chat about what’s been going on, starting my diploma of counselling, slowly building my website, picking up nannying/babysitting to help with the cost of living, and getting excited for a Bali trip (which honestly feels very needed). Then I get into intimacy after kids. Because it changes. HEAPS. And it ain't just because you’re “not trying hard enough” but because you’re exhausted, your hormones are all over the place, you might be breastfeeding, you’re touched out, your body feels different, and half the time your brain is running through a mental checklist of everything that still needs to be done. And if your partner isn’t really sharing that load… it’s hard not to feel a bit resentful. I read through some of your messages (which gave so many perspectives!), and talk about what’s actually helped for us.. not from a place of authority but just sharing, ya know. Things like: communicating without it turning into a dig actually asking for what you need finding connection during the day instead of waiting until you’re both wrecked at night little resets like a six-second kiss checking in with each other beyond just “what’s for dinner tomorrow” and even just admitting when things feel off and also… sometimes getting extra support if you’re really stuck! It’s not about forcing it or “getting back to normal” it’s more like figuring out what connection looks like now. Let me know what you think. Find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth I would love to connect xx
More from Becoming Both
HELLO FRIENDS! It has been so long.. In this solo episode, I'm back after a bit of a break, because honestly, life has been life-ing. I'm constantly reminding myself that this podcast does not have to be perfect to be worth showing up for. I give you a quick rundown of our Bali trip with friends. Ayana felt a bit sterile if I'm honest, but Melia was amazing, especially with kids in tow. I also chat about what work looks like right now, still nannying while I build my counselling business, and a possible short term demi pair from Germany who might come and give us a bit more breathing room!! Love that for us. My son has started mid year school entry and is doing really well, just extra tired, which makes sense and now he is off on this next chapter I'm loving getting extra one on one time with Sophie. I've also finally clawed my way back into Pilates and the gym (after a brutal flu completely wiped me out) after 2 years of feeling very lost with my exercise I am soo excited to get back into it! Then I get into something heavier. . I open up about a major betrayal 12 months from someone very close to me, the immense grief & heartbreak that has come with it after it rocked a lot of relationships around me, as well the lack of closure I think I will be forever sitting with. It really changed how I view family dynamics and the love and care I want to show my own children as they become adults as well as the importance of fostering healthy and loving sibling bonds. I also share some reflections on the Lindsay Clancy case, because it is such an important reminder of how seriously we need to take maternal mental health, support, and proper care. I would love to connect! You can find me over on Instagram at @doulamarley and @counsellormarley, and you can follow the podcast at @becomingboth.
Hi friends! Tonight I’m talking about something that has been on my mind every single blooody day... whether we should have a third baby. My heart feels so clucky.. I love the idea of another little person, another sibling for Jamie and Sophie, and growing the family I've always imagined. Buuuuut my head keeps reminding me of everything that comes with that decision.. In this episode I'm unpacking the constant back and forth between what my heart wants and what real life looks like. I chat about finally reaching a stage where life feels easier now that Sophie is two, and whether we're willing to jump back into pregnancy, birth, postpartum and all the hard, beautiful chaos that comes with starting again. I also share the things that genuinely make me hesitate, from my really difficult second pregnancy and birth experience, to running my own business, not having much of a village, finances, travel, school fees, and wondering whether we have the capacity to give another child the life we'd want for them. But I also talk about the other side of it. The excitement of meeting another little soul. Watching another personality grow. Seeing Jamie and Sophie become older siblings again. The family I always pictured, and why closing the door on that dream feels much harder than I expected. If you've ever felt torn between what your heart wants and what makes the most sense on paper, I hope this conversation helps you feel a little less alone. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love if you left a review or shared it with someone who might need to hear it. CONNECT Instagram: @becomingboth @doulamarley @counsellormarley
Hi friends! After an unexpected three-week break, we're back! In this episode of Becoming Both, I convince Tyron to join me with about five minutes' notice before we head off to Bali for a family holiday. We start with a little life update.. how we're surviving winter, finally getting a little more sleep, Sophie's determined personality, and the reminder that every stage of parenting is just that: a season. From there, we dive into a conversation that comes up in almost every family at some point: the mental load. We chat openly about how we divide responsibilities in our own home (we'd probably call it a 60/40 split), what has worked for us, and where we've had to learn along the way. We explore why it's often not the big jobs that create resentment, but the constant stream of invisible tasks that keep a household running. As someone with diagnosed ADHD, I also share how constant interruptions from young children can leave me feeling mentally overloaded, and why practical support isn't just about "helping".. it's about sharing responsibility. We also unpack topics like weaponized incompetence, micromanaging, differing standards around housework, and why expressing appreciation for each other's efforts can go a long way. This isn't about blaming mums or dads. It's an honest conversation about building a partnership where both people feel seen, supported, and valued. In this episode we discuss: The mental load of parenting Sharing household responsibilities Parenting as a partnership Invisible labour and resentment ADHD and overstimulation in motherhood Weaponized incompetence Different standards and priorities at home Communication around domestic labour Appreciation and gratitude in relationships Why motherhood is work, even when you're at home Whether you're the parent carrying most of the mental load or you're trying to better understand your partner's experience, I hope this conversation encourages more empathy, more teamwork, and a few practical takeaways you can use in your own home. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Come and continue the conversation over on Instagram @doulamarley @becomingboth Appreciate the support and feedback as usual!
In this solo episode of Becoming Both, I’m sharing a little life update and opening up about something I know so many mothers can relate to &&&& that is feeling like you've lost your spark. I chat about the exciting (and nerve-wracking) season of beginning the counselling side of my work after five years as a doula, what it's been like seeing my first clients, and my commitment to moving slowly, staying within my scope, and supporting mothers through the transitions of parenthood. I also share some of the everyday life happenings around our family.. from Jamie getting ready to start school, to our upcoming trip to Bali, and the strange quiet feeling of having the boys away. But the heart of this episode is a conversation about feeling stuck, flat, disconnected, or a little lost in motherhood. I talk honestly about the emotional weight of constantly giving to others, the way social media can sometimes feel like you're speaking into the void, and how discouraging it can be when you're pouring your heart into projects that don't seem to gain traction. Never from a place of ego, but just how social media seems to be these days. Together, we explore why so many mothers lose touch with themselves after having children, and the small, realistic ways we can begin reconnecting with who we are outside of caring for everyone else. Some of the practical ideas I share include: • Deep breathing and slowing down • Hydration and basic self-care • Reducing information overload • Listening to music • Journaling and reflection • Getting dressed up just because • Reconnecting with friends • Practising gratitude • Making space for creativity • Finding small pockets of time that belong to you If you've been feeling a little lost lately, I hope this episode feels like a lil reminder that you are still in there. Your spark doesn't disappear forever.. it sometimes just needs a little space, attention, and time to re-emerge! If you like this ep, it would mean so much to review, comment or share on your stories and tag me. You can find me over at @becomingboth or @doulamarley xx
In this episode of Becoming Both, I sit down with the lovely Jordi, a 29-year-old mum of two from Adelaide, to talk honestly about OCD in pregnancy and motherhood. This conversation is real, raw and a huge reminder that not all anxiety is “just anxiety.. Jordi shares how OCD quietly shaped so much of her life for years before she was ever diagnosed, from intense fears around sickness and contamination to the constant need for certainty and reassurance. What looked like anxiety on the outside was actually something much deeper, and pregnancy with her first baby amplified everything. We talk about the panic episode at 32 weeks that finally led her to a perinatal psychiatrist, receiving an OCD diagnosis late in pregnancy, and the huge emotional weight of navigating all of that while preparing to become a mum. Jordi opens up about starting sertraline, choosing an elective caesarean birth, and the shock of postpartum intrusive thoughts, including frightening fears of harming her baby, and how extremely isolating that experience can feel when nobody talks about it openly. This episode also explores what changed the second time around: entering pregnancy with more understanding, the right support, medication already in place, and the difference that early intervention can make. More than anything, this conversation is about honesty. About how scary thoughts do not make you a bad mother. About how OCD can hide in plain sight. And about why mums deserve specialized, informed support — not dismissal. If you’ve ever felt consumed by fear, trapped in reassurance-seeking, or ashamed of intrusive thoughts, I hope this episode makes you feel less alone. If this episode brought anything up for you, please know support is available — and intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and OCD in pregnancy/postpartum are far more common than many mums realize. Helpful supports: • PANDA – Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia Mon–Fri support line for parents during pregnancy and postpartum. 1300 726 306 • Beyond Blue 24/7 mental health support and counselling. 1300 22 4636 • Lifeline Australia 24/7 crisis support. 13 11 14 • International OCD Foundation – Perinatal OCD Resources Helpful information around intrusive thoughts and perinatal OCD. If you’re feeling dismissed, keep seeking support. You deserve care that takes your experience seriously! You can find me over at @becomingboth or @doulamarley. I would love to connect! Leaving a review or comment helps others find me. If you'd like to join me - feel free to email me [email protected] as I am always looking for guests to share their story xx