Show Notes
If we don’t help our kids find somewhere they belong, they’ll go looking for it somewhere else. And as parents, we might not always like where they find it.
A strong sense of belonging can help our kids understand who they are, where they come from and where they fit in the world.
Our guest today is Thomas Keily, a father, poet, writer and economist. He uses a tool called the Ancestor Altar to build a sense of belonging in his own family, including a brilliant ritual that connects his kids with the stories, struggles and people that came before them.
As part of discussing today's tool, we talked about measures of success as a parent. A shared family value both of us feel is important is for our children to have a sense of belonging, which leads us into today's episode…
In this episode, Thomas shares:
What exactly an Ancestor Altar is. How an Ancestor Altar can help your kids understand where they come from and feel part of something bigger than themselves. A simple way to create your own Ancestor Altar using family photos, stories, food and meaningful objects. Why sharing both the good and difficult stories from your family history can help build resilience and a stronger sense of identity. How he incorporated Halloween into this family ritual and made it more than a lolly grab. Why creating a strong sense of belonging at home matters, especially as kids get older and start looking for places to fit in. How learning about your ancestors can help put your own challenges into perspective and remind you of the strength that runs through your family. How rituals around remembering loved ones can give kids a way to understand grief, death and what it means to remember someone after they’re gone. Why family traditions don’t need to be inherited. You can deliberately create rituals and meaning that reflect the kind of family you want to be.
KEY QUOTES
“If we don't help their kids find their belonging, they will go and find belonging somewhere.”
“You belong here. There's a place for you. You fit in the weave in whatever way it is, but you're supposed to be here.”
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SUPPORTING RESEARCH
Download a compilation of the papers and books used to research this topic.
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