"I Was Almost a School Shooter." Aaron Stark's Journey to Hope | What’s Underneath: Masculinity

TW: This episode discusses domestic violence. In this special episode, we sit down with singer-songwriter, dancer, actress, and model FKA twigs to explore her journey of healing, resilience, and reclaiming self-worth. In 2020, twigs courageously went public with allegations of domestic violence against her ex-partner Shia LaBeouf. As her legal battle approaches, she reflects on her decision to seek justice and shares her thoughts on the upcoming trial, emphasizing the importance of holding men accountable, no matter their status or success. Twigs offers profound insights into her experience as a survivor, shedding light on how emotional manipulation can consume one’s entire psyche and leave lasting effects on both mind and body. She discusses the challenges of leaving an abusive relationship and the lifelong process of rebuilding trust and reclaiming every dimension of one's identity. Released during the final week of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this conversation serves as a powerful call for empathy, accountability, and cultural change. Whether you’re looking for inspiration or practical tools to navigate difficult relationships and your own healing journey, twigs’ voice will resonate deeply—reminding us that recovery is not linear, but with time and self-compassion, it is possible. If you or someone you know has experienced domestic or sexual violence, help is available. Find the support you need for yourself, a friend, a colleague, or a family member: nomore.org/help TIMECODES: (02:55) Introducing FKA twigs (04:25) Leaving her abuser and feeling isolated (13:49) Ongoing physical and mental effects of abuse (21:41) Speaking out ahead of the trial (35:16) Recognizing narcissism and abuse patterns (46:33) How men can help by embracing vulnerability (52:48) Relearning trust after abuse (1:01:45) Acceptance, healing, and impact on humanity (1:05:55) Being Man Enough QUOTES: "One of the most painful things was realizing that I wasn't special ... It could have really been anyone. It was just bad luck that I got a part in a film." - twigs "It really takes time to learn how to be me again. And I can say now, me was and is great, so I really want to be me." - twigs "I used to thrive out of fear ... But now I embrace the darker, artistic sides of myself. Life doesn’t have to be all sparkles and rainbows — there’s a balance." - twigs "Blaming someone for being in an abusive relationship is like blaming them for getting hit by a car — it just happened to them." - Liz

TW: This episode discusses suicide and depression In this uplifting episode, we sit down with Kevin Hines, an award-winning speaker and mental health advocate, to explore resilience, hope, and the journey to self-love. At the age of 19, Kevin survived a suicide attempt that forever changed his life. He shares his path from the miracle that saved him that day to now dedicating himself to helping others overcome "brain pain" and find their way to healing. Throughout the conversation, Kevin shares profound insights on the power of empathy, the importance of positive self-talk, and the critical need to reach out for help when it’s needed most. They touch on the complexities of mental health, the impact of childhood trauma, and the transformative effect of forgiveness. He also discusses his advocacy work, including his role in the installation of suicide prevention nets at the Golden Gate Bridge. This is a powerful reminder that no matter how difficult life gets, there is always hope, and that each life holds immense value. Whether you’re seeking inspiration or practical advice on mental health, this conversation is for anyone striving to live a fuller, more compassionate life with the ability to find light in the darkest moments. Don't miss this chance to hear from a man who has turned his pain into a mission to save lives. If you are in Crisis, or struggling with thoughts of suicide please call or text 988 or text CNQR to 741-741 TIMECODES: (01:47) Introducing Kevin Hines (5:11) Kevin Hines' background, challenges he faced growing up, and his life-changing experience at the Golden Gate Bridge. (12:19) Current state of boys/men and skewed perceptions of suicide (17:45) Moving from self-hate to self-love (24:35) Jamey reflects on his own mother and experiences (28:18) Reframing definitions, perceptions and approach to suicide and people that need help (57:26) Gender trends and differences related to suicide, normalizing struggle for all (1:05:22) The initiative to get suicide prevention nets installed at the Golden Gate Bridge (1:09:51) Exercise to reduce negative self-talk and depression (1:12:15) What does it mean to be “man enough”? QUOTES: "Suicide is not the answer to the problem. It is the problem. You're beautiful just as you are, and you are enough." - Kevin (1:10:50) "We are all human who want the same things. We want to experience joy and love. We want to be seen…We want to build some legacy, to be valued, to make a mark in some way." - Jamey (24:57) "The thoughts are…It's almost like you're on this radio station and you can't change the channel...And it's constant and it's all the time and it is inescapable in many ways…But the solution is not for you to go. It’s to actually ask for help." - Liz (16:48) "Without self-love we cannot give of ourselves to any other human being." - Kevin (14:15) KEVIN HINES LINKS:

Hosts Jamey Heath and Liz Plank discuss the significant shifts happening in our society and the crucial role men play in supporting these changes. This moment is a catalyst for broader conversations about gender and racial equality, challenging us to reconsider who gets to lead and whose voices matter. Moving beyond politics, they recognize the cultural crossroads we face right now — a chance for America to reckon with its history and redefine its future. Liz and Jamey highlight how men are actively dismantling long-standing barriers to equality. They stress the importance for men, the traditional power holders, to actively support women in leadership roles, especially Black women and other historically marginalized people. Men will make great impact when they recognize women’s contributions and help to break down barriers that have long kept them from positions of power. By standing with them and championing their leadership, men can help shape a future where everyone thrives. This episode encourages all of us, particularly men, to engage in meaningful conversations, challenge the status quo, and work together to build a society that values and uplifts everyone. It is a collective movement toward a more just and inclusive world, where men and women unite in a societal awakening that drives people to build something new together.

TW: This episode discusses domestic and gun violence. This inspiring episode focuses on the journey from trauma to healing and loving relationships, featuring a conversation with A Call to Men Chief Communications Officer Kimya Motley, who is a domestic violence (dv) survivor, and psychologist and relationships expert Dr. Alduan Tartt. Kimya shares her remarkable story of resilience and recovery after surviving repeated violence, emphasizing the importance of recognizing red flags and finding positive role models for healthy manhood. Dr. Tartt, who also played a pivotal role in Kimya's healing journey, serving as an example of positive masculinity, provides insights into fostering healthy relationships and offers practical advice on breaking the cycle of abuse. They explore the power of community, policy reform and media representation in an effort to create a safer and more supportive world. Despite the harrowing realities they discuss, this conversation shines a light on the hope and healing that can emerge from even the darkest experiences. They also discuss IT ENDS WITH US, the new film from Wayfarer Studios and Justin Baldoni, which depicts situations and themes of dv between its two lead characters. The film, which just celebrated its global theatrical premiere, was made in close consultation with our partners at NO MORE and is based on the best-selling novel by Colleen Hoover. Join a hopeful conversation, providing valuable tools for anyone committed to understanding and combating dv. Watch the video version on our YouTube. If you or someone you know has experienced domestic or sexual violence, help is available: http://nomore.org/

The hosts tackle what it means to be a provider today, discuss how men can balance financial and emotional support, and explore the evolving roles in relationships. In the spirit of the trend “Guys Under 30 Ask, Guys Over 30 Answer”, Jamey answers audience questions on self-compassion, accountability, and being present in a fast-paced world. From redefining traditional gender roles to maintaining healthy relationships with exes, this episode offers relatable insights and practical advice. Whether you're seeking self-compassion or reflecting on life's journey, Jamey and Liz provide an engaging discussion on modern masculinity and building fulfilling, balanced lives.