Show Notes
In this episode, hosts Michael Preston, Silvina Irwin, and Michael Barnett reflect on the foundational elements of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), focusing on Stage Two, particularly the critical moments of mismatch and vulnerability. They share insights, real cases, and practical strategies for working with trauma, couples' risk-taking, and creating transformational experiences in therapy.Main Topics: The significance of mismatch moments in fostering change in EFT and how they challenge clients' learned safety rules The neurobiological and emotional implications of high-risk moments in couples therapy Strategies for working with trauma-affected couples, including pacing, validating vulnerability, and managing triggers The role of narrative and coherence in consolidating breakthroughs in session Innovations and upcoming EFT trainings, including the EFT Triage Conference and specialization topics (sexual trauma, addiction, and ruptures) The importance of therapists' self-awareness and patience during fragile moments of change EFTTriage.com MichaelBarnettlpc.com DrSilvinaIrwin.com MichaelPrestonlpc.com Thank you for being part of the journey—your engagement fuels the ongoing exploration of EFT’s potentials. We look forward to continuing this work with you in season two!
More from The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast
In this conversation, Michael Preston and Ed Peterson explore the intersection of addiction and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). They discuss the importance of understanding addiction through an attachment lens, viewing it as a protective strategy rather than a moral failing. The dialogue emphasizes the emotional experiences of individuals struggling with addiction and the impact on their relationships. They also address the challenges therapists face when working with couples where substance use is present, highlighting the need for compassion and understanding in the therapeutic process. In this conversation, Ed Peterson and Michael Preston delve into the complexities of addiction, emotional responses, and the importance of attunement in therapy. They discuss the challenges faced by partners of individuals struggling with addiction, the need for compassion, and the significance of understanding underlying emotional needs.
Andrea Medaris on pacing EFT with trauma, disorganized attachment, and keeping couples in the window of toleranceMichael Preston talks with Andrea Medaris of EFT Maine about working with couples where trauma is in the room, how to pace EFT without becoming too cautious, and how to stay present when both partners are getting activated at once. Andrea also shares how she supports newer EFT learners through residency cohorts and why supervision matters so much in trauma work.In this episode, they focus on how developmental trauma shapes attachment, how to recognize flooding and disorganized attachment in session, and how to keep making room for both partners without losing the cycle. Andrea also discusses the role of transparency, validation, and constant check-ins when working near the edge of a client’s tolerance.
Deliberate Practice in EFT:
EFT externships, LGBTQ+ therapy, and dementia: What therapists need to know!
Michael Preston talks with Laurie Watson about why sex belongs in couples therapy from the very first session, how sexual and emotional cycles intersect, and how attachment shapes desire, vulnerability, and repair. Laurie shares a practical EFT lens for understanding sexual pursuer-withdrawer patterns, coercion, shame, affair recovery, and how therapists can normalize sexual conversation without taking over the couple’s work.