Show Notes
“You’re not living up to your potential.” If those words have haunted you, you’re not alone — and the story you’ve been telling yourself about why might be wrong.
Dr. J breaks down two patterns she sees in her ADHD clients: the person who checked out after years of “you’re smart, you just don’t apply yourself”; and the high achiever whose color-coded planners are hiding total exhaustion.
She digs into research on ADHD and perfectionism, and why so many women spend decades masking or overachieving without ever getting a diagnosis.
Then, five concrete strategies:
Understanding your type of ADHD Creating distance from the inner monologue Figuring out whose goals you’re chasing Building a plan that works with your brain instead of against it Unmasking with the right people
Your potential was never a ceiling you kept failing to reach. It’s a launching pad — and you get to define it.
More from The ADHD Channel for Women
Your partner has rehearsed this conversation 10 times. You’re walking in at one. No wonder it goes sideways. Dani Burford doesn’t have ADHD, but her husband, Sean, does, along with OCD tendencies. Dani, who works in marketing at Understood.org, joins Cate for a casual, practical conversation about the systems that help them stay on the same team. She explains how they use things like the “care meter,” a 1-to-10 rating that ends three-hour debates about paint colors, the mess monster, and who takes the blame for last night’s dishes. And why asking “What script did you write for me?” can calm a worst-case spiral. Dani and Cate explain the importance of talking about how you talk, the benefits of putting time limits on hard talks, and why alone time doesn’t mean “I don’t want to be with you.” They also discuss what to do when your way of getting things done doesn’t work for your partner’s brain — and why it’s rarely about you.
Ever reached for food when you were stressed, bored, or overwhelmed, then felt ashamed afterward? For many people with ADHD, eating isn’t only about hunger. Impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and low dopamine can shape how, when, and why we eat. For some people that becomes an eating disorder. If that’s you, you’re not alone.
Are you mad at me? It’s a question “Hyperfocus” host Rae Jacobson has asked more times than she can count.
Research shows that girls with ADHD are significantly more likely to experience intimate partner violence.
Podcaster PJ Vogt has talked about his ADHD for years. Casually. Almost cheerfully. Then things changed. He decided to go off his ADHD medication, and he found the neuropsych report from when he was 13. It didn’t say what he thought.