The School Refuser

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! “Everyone’s autistic these days.” How many times have you heard that one? With autism and ADHD diagnoses on the rise, and the recent government review raising questions about overdiagnosis, we wanted to have a proper conversation about what’s actually happening. Are there really more autistic people, or are we finally recognising children and adults who would have been overlooked years ago? This week, we talk about our own misconceptions, the reality of pursuing a diagnosis, the impact of waiting years for answers and why so many parents are having to fight for support. We also look at what the government review actually says, because there's quite a difference between some of the headlines and the wider findings. And perhaps the biggest question of all: Why are we spending so much time questioning diagnoses when so many children still can't access the support they need? As always, we're sharing our own experiences as SEND mums, not speaking as medical professionals. We'd love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever been told that everyone's autistic or ADHD these days? 🤍 SENDtheMums | Real conversations about SEND parenting.

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know What should you actually be asking for at school? This week, Kirsty and I are talking about some of the things we’ve tried with the boys over the years, from movement breaks and quieter spaces to trusted adults, different transitions and the little adjustments that have ended up making a massive difference. We’ve been visiting some local SEND groups recently and found ourselves hearing the same thing from parents again and again. Their child is struggling, they know something needs to change, but they have absolutely no idea what to ask for. And that’s the problem. You don’t know what you don’t know. With some turbulent times ahead for the SEND provision at our own school, it’s also got us thinking about what actually works for our boys, what they need to access school and the support we’ve learnt to ask for over the years. So we’re sharing what’s worked wonders for us, what hasn’t, and some of the things we really wish we’d known to ask about much earlier. Hopefully, there’s something in this episode that makes you think, hang on… could that help my child too? 🤍

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! How Are SEND Parents Supposed to Work? This week we’re asking a question we know a lot of SEND parents will relate to… how are we actually supposed to work? We’re talking about the reality of trying to hold down a job or build a career alongside school calls, appointments, paperwork, childcare that doesn’t always meet our children’s needs and the general unpredictability that comes with SEND parenting. We also look at some pretty shocking recent statistics around how having a child with SEND affects parents’ employment and earning potential, and talk honestly about how it’s shaped our own working lives. Plus, we check in on those new school year resolutions we made a couple of weeks ago. Because obviously they were all going to plan beautifully. 🫠😂 Has SEND changed the way you work? Have you reduced your hours, changed career, become self employed or had to stop working altogether? We want to hear your about your experience. 🤍

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! The six weeks are over and it’s time to send them back and if we’re completely honest, we’ve got very mixed feelings about it. 🫠 This week we’re chatting about what going back to school actually looks like after spending six weeks trying to get our children regulated. We’re anxious about what the next few weeks might bring, how quickly the overwhelm might creep back in and whether we’ll start seeing the same struggles we had before summer. We also have a bit of a rant about school holiday fines, because obviously we couldn’t help ourselves 😂, and we’ve come up with our own new school year resolutions about what we’re going to try to do differently this time around. Basically, the uniforms are ready, the kids are going back and we’re cautiously waiting to see what happens next.

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! WE’RE IN DOUBLE DIGITS! 🎉 EPISODE 10! This week we’re talking friendships, and how much they can change once children come along, especially when SEND becomes part of the picture. We chat about the friends you had before children, the ones that slowly drift away, the people who surprise you by sticking around, and the completely unexpected friendships you find along the way. There’s the comparing your child to everyone else’s, the awkward birthday parties, cancelling plans because you already know it’s not going to work, and that horrible feeling of wondering if people are judging your parenting because they don’t really understand your child. But we also talk about the good bit. Finding people who just get it. Friends who understand the meltdowns, the last-minute changes, the school battles, the assessments, the constant overthinking and the fact that sometimes you might disappear from the group chat for a week and come back as if nothing happened. Neither of us expected the school playground to give us some of our closest friends, but somehow that’s exactly what happened. And honestly, having a little village of people who understand your children and understand you can make such a difference. If you’ve ever felt your friendships changed when you became a parent, especially of a SEND child, or you’re still trying to find your people, this one’s for you. 🤍