The Chapters We Tried to Forget — Our Fall, Our Despair, and the Grace That Brought Us Back to Life

How do you keep believing God is good when life doesn’t feel good? In this episode of Out of Focus, Shannon Stewart sits down with Amber Smith for an incredibly honest conversation about grief, faith, surrender, and finding hope after unimaginable loss. After losing her son River in a drowning accident in 2019, Amber found herself crying on the bathroom floor, trying to understand how to keep moving forward while carrying a pain she never imagined she would have to endure. But in the middle of her heartbreak, she began searching for God—not the version of Him she had heard about, but who He really is. Amber shares what grief revealed about her faith, why she chose to keep opening her Bible even when she didn’t feel like it, and how discipline eventually became desire and devotion. She and Shannon talk about wrestling with unanswered questions, learning to trust God without understanding Him, and discovering that grief and joy can somehow exist in the same heart. They also talk about the shame Amber’s husband, Granger Smith, carried after River’s death, the dark season Amber didn’t fully know he was walking through, and what their story taught them about loving each other when neither person could fix the other’s pain. This conversation is tender, raw, and full of truth. Amber’s story is a reminder that heartbreak does not mean God has abandoned you. Your suffering is not the end of your story, and even when you cannot see what God is doing, He is still present. If you are in a season where life looks nothing like you thought it would, let this conversation encourage you to keep turning toward Jesus. You don’t have to have all the answers to trust Him. You can bring Him your questions, your anger, your grief, and your broken heart. There is still hope. There is still light. And your story is not over. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 RESOURCES & LINKS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_shannon_stewart Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/outoffocuspodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shannonstewartmodel TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/shannon_stewart_ 🎙️ All platforms & freebies: https://linktr.ee/shannonstewart 📩 Booking inquiries: [email protected] #OutOfFocusPodcast #ShannonStewart #ChristianPodcast #Testimony #Redemption #Grace #Faith

What happens when the person who taught you about God becomes the person who breaks your heart? On this episode of Out of Focus, Shannon sits down with author and speaker Micah Maddox for an honest conversation about abandonment, forgiveness, childhood wounds, and learning to trust God when the people who represented Him let you down. Micah was just a little girl when she arrived at church one Sunday morning and discovered that her father—a pastor—had left their family. For years, she carried the pain quietly, convincing everyone—including herself—that she was fine. Decades later, Micah finally reached a breaking point and admitted, “I’m not okay.” That moment became the beginning of a deeper journey toward healing and freedom. Micah shares about reconnecting with her biological father, learning that forgiveness doesn't always mean reconciliation, creating healthy boundaries, and losing the adoptive father who stepped in and showed her what a present father could look like. Through it all, she came to understand that the deepest longing in her heart could only be satisfied by God. Shannon and Micah also talk about adoption coming full circle in Micah's own family, parenting children through anxiety and big emotions, and the heart behind Micah's newest book, Calming Your Anxious Child. For anyone carrying a father wound, church hurt, disappointment, or a story that still feels unresolved, this episode is a reminder that the failure of a person does not change the character of God. You don't have to hide the parts of your story that still hurt. God can meet you there, walk with you through the process, and bring freedom even when your circumstances don't wrap themselves up in a perfect bow. “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” — Psalm 27:10 RESOURCES & LINKS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_shannon_stewart Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/outoffocuspodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shannonstewartmodel TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/shannon_stewart_ 🎙️ All platforms & freebies: https://linktr.ee/shannonstewart 📩 Booking inquiries: [email protected] #OutOfFocusPodcast #ShannonStewart #ChristianPodcast #Testimony #Redemption #Grace #Faith

What if one of the clearest signs of our relationship with God is where we run when we don’t need anything from Him? Most of us know how to seek God when we’re desperate. We need an answer, direction, healing, or for Him to change something we can’t change ourselves. But Psalm 27 shows us something deeper. On this episode of Out of Focus, Shannon Stewart sits down with her mom, Mary Ann Stewart, for Part 2 of their conversation through Psalm 27. They’re talking about what it really means to seek the face of God—not just His hand. They talk about how easy it is to become so focused on the answer we’re waiting for that we miss God Himself, how striving and busyness can quietly replace intimacy with Him, and what it looks like to come to Jesus honestly, without a mask. One of Shannon’s favorite moments is a simple prayer Mary Ann shares for anyone who feels spiritually dry: “Lord, give me more love to love You.” If your faith has felt routine lately, or if you’ve been so consumed with what you need from God that you’ve forgotten the beauty of simply being with Him, this conversation is a reminder that His presence is not the consolation prize. He is the prize. Start small. Come honestly. Seek Him for Him. “My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’ Your face, Lord, I will seek.” — Psalm 27:8 (NIV) RESOURCES & LINKS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_shannon_stewart Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/outoffocuspodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shannonstewartmodel TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/shannon_stewart_ 🎙️ All platforms & freebies: https://linktr.ee/shannonstewart 📩 Booking inquiries: [email protected] #OutOfFocusPodcast #ShannonStewart #ChristianPodcast #Testimony #Redemption #Grace #Faith

What if the very thing you thought disqualified you was the place God wanted to meet you? This week on Out of Focus, Shannon sits down with American Idol finalist Breanna Nix for a conversation that goes far beyond what America saw on television. Breanna opens up about growing up with wounds that shaped the way she saw herself—and even the way she saw God. She shares how a serious car accident, a secret American Idol audition, and one small act of obedience became part of a much bigger story God was writing. They talk about rejection, shame, surrender, the pressure to perform, and how God used an unexpected season in the spotlight to heal places in Breanna's heart she didn't realize were still broken. Breanna also shares the powerful story behind her song “Redemption Story” and what she's learned about letting Jesus—not success, other people's opinions, or our past—define who we are. If you've ever wondered whether you're too messy, too broken, or too far gone for God to use, this conversation is a reminder that your brokenness doesn't disqualify you. Bring the whole story to Jesus. He is still redeeming, restoring, and making beautiful things from places you thought were beyond repair. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3 (NIV) RESOURCES & LINKS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_shannon_stewart Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/outoffocuspodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shannonstewartmodel TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/shannon_stewart_ 🎙️ All platforms & freebies: https://linktr.ee/shannonstewart 📩 Booking inquiries: [email protected] #OutOfFocusPodcast #ShannonStewart #ChristianPodcast #Testimony #Redemption #Grace #Faith

What happens when the God you spent years running from becomes the One you can no longer deny? More than twenty years after Adrianne Curry and Shannon Stewart stood together in the finale of America’s Next Top Model, they sit down for a conversation neither could have imagined having back then. Adrianne opens up about the side of her story many people have never heard—surviving trauma, turning to drugs at a young age, becoming deeply angry with God, and eventually walking away from Christianity altogether. She shares what happened after Top Model, why she blamed God for so much of the pain in her life, and the unexpected moments that began challenging everything she believed. They also talk about the grandmother who never stopped praying for her, the power of loving someone who doesn’t believe what you believe, forgiveness, shame, and the moment Adrianne could no longer deny that Jesus was real. And, of course, after more than two decades of friendship, they look back at Top Model, what really bonded them during that experience, and just how different the two women sitting here today are from the girls who stood together in that finale. If you’re praying for someone who has walked away from God—or maybe you’re the one who has been running—this conversation is a reminder that God can reach a heart in ways we never could. Keep loving. Keep praying. And don’t give up. “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise... Instead he is patient with you.” — 2 Peter 3:9 RESOURCES & LINKS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_shannon_stewart Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/outoffocuspodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shannonstewartmodel TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/shannon_stewart_ 🎙️ All platforms & freebies: https://linktr.ee/shannonstewart 📩 Booking inquiries: [email protected] #OutOfFocusPodcast #ShannonStewart #ChristianPodcast #Testimony #Redemption #Grace #Faith