Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First
The Divorce Course PodcastShow Notes
🎧 Listen to this episode if: You've been told to attend mediation but feel unsafe agreeing to child care arrangements
Your ex is pushing for 50/50 care and you don't believe it's appropriate for the kids
You're dealing with substance abuse, family violence, or safety concerns and your child's safety
You feel pressured to compromise at mediation when you don't want to
You want to understand your options without giving in on safety
Have you been told you need to go to mediation, but you're worried about the outcome because you simply cannot budge when it comes to your child's safety? Has your ex demanded 50/50 care, but deep down you know that arrangement isn't in your child's best interests right now? We talk about how to approach mediation when you feel stuck, how to clearly communicate your concerns, and the practical options that may be discussed including supervised time, stepped arrangements, and drug and alcohol testing. If you're feeling pressured, overwhelmed, or unsure how to stand your ground, this episode will help you navigate mediation with clarity and confidence. ⏱️ Episode Timeline -Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First [00:00] – Mediation With Safety Fears [02:33] – What Mediation Really Is [05:40] – Holding The Safety Line Why you don't have to agree to unsafe arrangements just to reach an outcome. [06:37] – Define The Real Risks How to clearly identify and communicate your specific safety concerns. [09:27] – What Courts Call Unsafe Understanding how the court views risk and safety in parenting matters. [10:33] – Supervised Time Options Exploring supervised contact as a way to maintain relationships safely. [12:56] – Choosing Contact Centres How supervised contact works and what to consider when selecting a centre. [16:34] – Cutting Contact And Court Optics What happens if time is stopped altogether and how it may be viewed legally. [18:43] – Stepped Parenting Orders Using gradual increases in time to build safety and trust over time. [21:26] – Therapy Conditions And Pitfalls When therapy is suggested, what to watch out for and potential risks. [23:06] – Drug And Alcohol Testing How testing can be used to address concerns and create accountability. [26:25] – Costs And Waitlists The practical realities of supervision services and delays. [26:45] – Paying For Supervision Who pays for supervised time and how this is handled. [27:28] – Preparing For Mediation How to go into mediation feeling clear, confident, and prepared. [28:13] – When They Refuse Supervision What to do if the other parent won't agree to safe options. [28:48] – Best Interests Not 50/50 Why equal time is not automatic and must reflect the child's needs. [30:40] – Court View On Refusal How the court may interpret refusal to compromise or engage. [33:27] – Holding Your Safety Line Practical ways to stay firm without escalating conflict. [35:17] – If Mediation Hits Impasse What happens when no agreement is reached and what comes next. [38:17] – Costs Threats Reality Check Addressing fear around legal costs and pressure tactics. [39:07] – Using Mediation For Property How mediation can still be useful even if parenting isn't resolved. [43:16] – Authenticity And Support Staying grounded, supported, and focused during a difficult process. ⚖️ Family Violence & Legal Disclaimer This episode contains discussion of family violence and may be distressing for some listeners. If you are affected, please consider listening with support or contact: Lifeline (Australia): 13 11 14 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732 This podcast is for educational purposes only and discusses general concepts in Australian family law. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your specific circumstances. 🔗 Helpful Resources 1800 RESPECT – National Domestic Violence Support
Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14
Relationships Australia (Supervis
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🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You dread every text from your ex and screenshot messages "just in case" - Your co-parent avoids, delays or denies every conversation that matters - You can't get a straight yes or no - You carry the mental load of every reminder, newsletter and schedule - You've been told to "document everything" and want it done automatically ⚠️ General information only not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. unpack the co-parenting app that courts here actually trust. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Dreading Texts From Your Ex? Why You Need This Episode 01:00 – Meet Erin Green From OurFamilyWizard Australia 02:00 – Why Avoidant Co-Parents Stop Communicating 05:00 – The Amicable Trap: Becoming the Communication Manager 07:00 – What Is OurFamilyWizard? The Co-Parenting App Explained 08:00 – Uneditable, Encrypted Records vs Deleted Text Messages 10:00 – Calls Feature: Transcripts and Documented Call Activity 11:00 – Family Violence Orders: Calling Without Sharing Your Number 12:00 – The Shared Calendar and Change Requests Without Drama 15:00 – Expense Tracking: Invoices, Receipts and Proof for Court 17:00 – The Info Bank: Schools, Medications and Clothing Sizes 18:00 – Who Uses OurFamilyWizard (And When Courts Order It) 20:00 – Putting the App in Your Consent Orders 21:00 – Timestamped Messages: No Deleting, No Rewriting History 22:00 – Free Divorce Webinar With Laura & Lyn 23:00 – Court-Admissible PDFs and Professional Access 25:00 – The AI Writing Assistant That Flags Escalating Language 27:00 – Message Search + Safety for Survivors of Abuse 29:00 – Word Salad, Yes-or-No Requests and Coercive Control 31:00 – Check-Ins and Location Privacy After Family Violence 33:00 – A Tool, Not a Safety Plan: Tech Stalking Reminders 34:00 – What If Your Ex Refuses to Use a Co-Parenting App? 36:00 – Protection Orders, Mediation and Raising the App 37:00 – Fee Waivers for Family Violence and Financial Duress 38:00 – Defence Force Discount Explained 40:00 – OurFamilyWizard Cost: Essentials, Premium and Max 43:00 – Erin's Best Advice: Pause Before You Reply 44:00 – What to Embroider on a Cushion This Week 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Coercive Control and Your Kids – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-and-your-kids-how-to-protect-your/id1503451022?i=1000777679728 Co-Parenting With a High Conflict, Narcissistic or Avoidant Ex – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-how-to-successfully-do-it-even-with-a/id1503451022?i=1000559535573 Take the Divorce Personality Quiz – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/take-the-divorce-personality-quiz-learn-why-your/id1503451022?i=1000748290587 Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive Control Goes Digital – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/is-your-ex-watching-you-coercive-control-goes-digital/id1503451022?i=1000758578403 Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/from-fear-to-freedom-creating-a-safety-plan-before/id1503451022?i=1000741625311 Co-Parenting Without Court Orders – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-without-court-orders-the-real-rules-and/id1503451022?i=1000735234386 🔗 Links & Resources OurFamilyWizard Australia – https://www.ourfamilywizard.com.au Fee waiver (via your lawyer, mediator or support professional): [email protected] Help using the app: [email protected] 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat" 🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog
🎧 Listen if you… - Keep hearing "you're not getting more than 50/50" from your ex - Are stuck yelling percentages at each other and getting nowhere - Feel greedy asking for what's actually fair - Want your proposal backed by real law before mediation
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