112. TBT: Raising resilient children and breaking trauma cycles with Kathleen Sullivan
All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and ParentingShow Notes
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[HOLIDAY BEST OF SERIES] This Throwback Thursday brings you one of our most impactful episodes on parenting. If you've ever felt overwhelmed trying to raise resilient, well-adjusted children—or if you're working to break cycles from your own childhood—this conversation with Nurse Practitioner Kathleen Sullivan is essential listening. Raising children can (most of the time) be a mystery and a lot of trial and error. Add to that, trying to figure out how to raise resilient, well-adjusted, happy, and healthy children...and cue overwhelm. That's why we have Kathleen Sullivan here: she's going to share with us ALL about how we can raise resilient children. Kathleen is a Nurse Practitioner who, throughout her career, has worked with children in many different clinical settings. Currently, Kathleen works clinically with youth in mental health and substance abuse, and also serves in a leadership role developing education programs. She is part of a Doctors of BC working group focused on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and childhood trauma prevention. In this episode, we cover: (03:33) Kathleen's career pivot from pediatric nursing to becoming a Nurse Practitioner (11:29) The definition of trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) (13:35) The groundbreaking ACEs study and its surprising findings on long-term health impacts (21:02) How trauma physically changes the brain—and how quality care can reverse those changes (37:00) The four S's of secure parenting: Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure (32:00) Practical ways to build resilience in children through attachment and connection (28:29) How to break generational trauma cycles (30:10) Resources for parents navigating these challenges CONTENT ADVISORY: We will be talking about trauma and adverse childhood experiences in a theoretical sense. Topics include child abuse, neglect, mental illness, and substance abuse. Please do what you need to do to take care of your mental health, and skip this episode if this topic isn't speaking to you right now. Resources mentioned in this episode: Book: Raising a Secure Child by Ken Hoffman Book: The Power of Showing Up by Dan Siegel EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy Doctors of BC Working Group on Adverse Childhood Experiences About Kathleen Sullivan Kathleen is a family Nurse Practitioner with a clinical practice in a youth mental health and substance use. She recently joined the leadership team as a lead with the Regional Professional Practice NP team with a focus on supporting quality practice environment and excellence in clinic practice for NPs, specifically in urgent care and primary care. After completing a capstone in Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Kathleen joined the provincial ACEs working group with Doctors of BC. Outside of work, she finds balance exploring trails and mountaintops with her partner and giant dog.
About Andrea Barr, host of All Figured Out: Andrea is a certified career and life coach for parents. Through her coaching, she supports parents in finding better work-life rhythms so they can continue to grow personally and professionally without sacrificing family time. Connect with Andrea Website | https://www.andreabarr.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/allfiguredoutandrea Resume Shop – Beautiful, customizable resumes to land your dream job
More from All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting
Steph Wharton is a leadership and visibility coach, a public speaker and the founder of the Speaker Movement, and she'll be the first to tell you she was painfully shy growing up. Andrea sat down with her in person to talk about what visibility looks like for working moms, whether that's on a stage, on LinkedIn or at the playground. They get into the many hats we wear and the question of whether we're "enough" in any of them, how to decide what you actually want to be visible for, why you don't need a rags-to-riches story to have something worth sharing, and beginner-friendly public speaking tips for easing your nerves the next time you have to speak in front of people. And, we leave you with a little visibility challenge.
📣 EXCLUSIVE for AFO listeners: Get 20% off your annual Fraîche Table subscription with code ALLFIGUREDOUT20 → https://fraichetable.com/ Tori Wesszer is a registered dietitian, a bestselling cookbook author, a mom of two boys and, somewhat by accident, the founder of a software company. Andrea sat down with her in Kelowna right at the end of the tour for her new cookbook, Fraiche and Simple, to talk about the question every busy parent hears around 5:30 PM: what's for dinner? They get into why that question feels so heavy, what a dietitian really thinks about packaged snacks and takeout pizza night, whether AI belongs in your kitchen, and how Tori went from 16 years in a "really good job" to building something of her own. ** In this episode, we cover: (00:00) Intro (04:23) From dietitian to "what am I doing with my life?" (06:03) A business that folded, and the start of the blog (10:10) Cookbooks and legacy (13:59) How 100+ recipes get developed and tested (16:01) AI recipes and what we shouldn't outsource (19:05) Taking the friction out of "what's for dinner?" (28:49) The 15-minute weekly habit, and feeding yourself too (30:55) Food ruts, variety and "the poison is in the dose" (32:23) Mom guilt, packaged snacks and pattern over plate (34:53) Fed is best (35:52) Extra kids at the table and no short-order cooking (38:19) Hosting when your house isn't perfect (41:11) A digital kitchen assistant for holiday hosting (42:40) Accidentally owning a software company (45:31) What's next (49:37) Letting go of all-or-nothing thinking KEY TAKEAWAY Simplify everything that comes before the cooking: decide what's for dinner once a week, get the grocery list sorted, and share it. And go easy on yourself, because no single meal makes or breaks your family's nutrition. Pattern over plate. About Tori Wesszer Tori Wesszer is a registered dietitian, entrepreneur and the founder of Fraîche, which includes the Fraîche Living lifestyle platform and the Fraîche Table meal-planning service. She co-authored the #1 bestselling cookbooks Fraiche Food, Full Hearts and Fraiche Food, Fuller Hearts with her cousin Jillian Harris, and her new cookbook, Fraiche and Simple: Easy Prep and Make-Ahead Recipes for Real Life, includes over 100 recipes and eight weeks of dietitian-designed meal plans. She is passionate about helping women bring more joy and ease into their kitchens, and lives in Kelowna, BC, with her husband and their two sons. Connect with Tori Website | https://fraicheliving.com/ Fraiche and Simple Cookbook | https://link.amazon/B0dzLlLoy Fraîche Table Subscription | https://fraichetable.com/ | Get 20% OFF Annual Subscription with code: ALLFIGUREDOUT20 Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/fraicheliving/ Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/fraicheliving/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@fraicheliving YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@fraicheliving9780 Pinterest | https://www.pinterest.com/fraichefood/ About Andrea Barr, host of All Figured Out: Andrea is a certified career and life coach for parents. Through her coaching, she supports parents in finding better work-life rhythms so they can continue to grow personally and professionally without sacrificing family time. Connect with Andrea Website | https://www.andreabarr.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/allfiguredoutandrea | https://www.instagram.com/allfiguredout.podcast Listen to All Figured Out 💚 Spotify | https://tinyurl.com/afo-spotify 💜 Apple Podcasts | https://tinyurl.com/afo-apple 🖤YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@allfiguredoutandrea
Free for AFO listeners: grab Laura's Playlist Planner to find your own unique play activities and plan them into a busy schedule → https://laurahaver.com/playlist/ Reclaiming fun has been coming up everywhere lately, at Andrea's breakfast club, in her strategy sessions with working parents and over dinner with friends, so she's bringing back one of the most joyful conversations in the All Figured Out archive. Laura Haver is a play advocate, author, life coach, mom and former pro beach tennis player, and she makes the case that play belongs to grown-ups too. Andrea and Laura get into what play actually is (spoiler, your colour-coded spreadsheet might count), why it slowly disappears as we get older, what happened when Laura said yes to competing again with two little kids at home, and simple ways to bring fun back into busy days, for you and with your kids. Originally aired as Episode 64. In this episode, we cover: (00:00) Intro (03:06) Podcasts in the shower and making the mundane fun (06:30) Seasons of taking in and pouring out (09:07) How Laura became an expert in play (12:04) When play turns into pressure (15:24) Kids can tell when you're really playing (17:43) What the research says about play (19:10) So what is play, anyway? (20:47) Colouring books, spreadsheets and giving yourself permission (22:25) The Playlist Planner and more energy with two little kids (26:42) Quality playtime when you're short on time (28:38) Time blocking play (and the guilt it takes away) (31:35) Saying yes more and letting kids lead (33:51) The mud kitchen (35:31) Bringing play into your own day (37:02) Social media as a playground (42:20) Play and your next career move (44:54) Fun at work and the power of connection (47:16) Daily delight and Gratitude Detectives (50:03) How Laura found her through line (54:49) Try it on, one small step at a time (56:11) What Laura's still figuring out (57:05) Where to find Laura
Three years ago, Scotty Barr (Andrea's husband) came on the show to share the story of eight heart surgeries in eighteen months, more than 100 days in the hospital, and becoming a dad in the middle of it all. And at one point, it became one of our most-listened-to episodes ever, and now Scotty is back to take back the first place! In this episode, Andrea and Scotty get into how he's rebuilt a rhythm across work, health and family, what it's really like being married to your total opposite, why a cardiac patient on blood thinners ended up in a boxing gym, and what each of them is still trying to figure out. In this episode, we cover: (00:00) Intro (02:15) Catching up: eight surgeries in eighteen months (05:36) Where he is now, five years later (07:49) Building a rhythm, and the 95/5 rule from Unreasonable Hospitality (10:44) Married to your opposite: routine vs. chaos (12:49) Work: the 3-month contract that turned into almost 5 years (16:05) No work email on his phone, and the 4-day week he kept (18:21) Ego, ambition, and "does this meeting really make sense?" (22:27) Where a "hired gun" fits in the job market (23:47) Health: life after the hospital, and getting into strength training (28:15) A Beautiful Constraint: how limits lead to creativity (30:46) Parenthood as a constraint, and why we love a recalibration (33:08) Finding the right coach, and why a cardiac patient took up boxing (39:53) Sharing boxing with our daughter (47:37) Martial arts, and the mind-body connection (49:20) Why it's good to have your own thing (51:46) Building a care team that actually talks to each other (55:54) What Andrea's figuring out (59:09) What Scotty's figuring out KEY TAKEAWAY Put a few solid rhythms in place for the things that matter most, let everything else stay flexible, and when something stops working, say so and recalibrate together. The limits you're living with (time, energy, little kids) can make the next choice a whole lot clearer. RELATED EPISODES Ep. 21: Scotty Barr on figuring out how to navigate medical challenges, work and a baby on the way – Spotify or Apple About Scott Barr Scotty is a marketer with over 20 years experience working at Canada’s top ranked creative agencies. His health journey, which included 11 cardiac related surgeries, was the subject of All Figured Out’s previous number 1 most listened to episode. He’s a father of two, husband to a top 3% global podcaster, and an aspiring fitness influencer, with the emphasis on aspiring. About Andrea Barr, host of All Figured Out: Andrea is a certified career and life coach for parents. Through her coaching, she supports parents in finding better work-life rhythms so they can continue to grow personally and professionally without sacrificing family time. Connect with Andrea Website | https://www.andreabarr.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/allfiguredoutandrea | https://www.instagram.com/allfiguredout.podcast Listen to All Figured Out 💚 Spotify | https://tinyurl.com/afo-spotify 💜 Apple Podcasts | https://tinyurl.com/afo-apple 🖤YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@allfiguredoutandrea
For the last ten years, Sonia Sunger has been waking up at 3 a.m. to bring BC its morning news, and she's built her whole life around that schedule. She's a veteran journalist, a mom of two, a certified Reiki practitioner and the host of Sacred Space with Sonia. In this episode, Andrea and Sonia get into how she protects her energy in a world built for the 9-to-5, the season that led her to asking "who am I really?", and what came after she decided to stop hiding her spiritual side. They also talk about whether you actually have to blow up your whole life to live more like yourself. In this episode, we cover: (00:00) Intro (00:22) Life on a 3 a.m. morning show schedule (02:37) Surviving in a world built for the 9-to-5, and the power of "no" (05:47) When friendships fizzle, and why a smaller circle is okay (07:59) Why the modern model was never made for women (10:17) From journalism dreams to starting a family (13:51) Pregnancy loss, grief, and learning you can't rush through things (17:55) Gratitude, and getting out of "chasing" mode (21:06) A spiritual awakening vs. going back to the same job (23:36) The spiritual kid who became a reporter (25:52) Reiki, intention, and beaming love through the camera (28:43) Interviewing people you don't agree with (30:46) Why moms' voices matter in local elections (33:53) Your attention is currency (38:19) Following your curiosity: tarot, Reiki, and Wellness Wednesdays (42:44) You don't have to blow up your whole life (44:28) Coming out of the spiritual closet, and Sacred Space with Sonia (47:04) The inner narrator, ghost DNA, and staying curious