EP.04 - Men Want Romance and Women Want Sex (The Sex Talk You Never Got) with Sam Jolman
Dating and Desire PodcastShow Notes
Therapist and author Sam Jolman joins Bridgett and Lauren to unpack what most Christians were never taught about sexual arousal - and why it matters for dating, marriage, and your relationship with your own body. Sam defines sex as a form of play and awe - something the church rarely frames that way. He explains arousal non-concordance, breaks down how arousal and desire actually work, and offers a grounded, faith-informed perspective on how to relate to your body without shame.
What this episode covers: The difference between arousal and desire - and why confusing them leads to shame Why noticing beauty in another person is not the same as lust What "stewarding your arousal" looks like in real life, including after breakups How men tend to disconnect from their hearts around sex, and women from their bodies Why the "point of no return" myth harms both men and women How setting clear physical boundaries in dating creates safety and presence - not restriction Why being able to talk about a sexual experience out loud is a sign you've built enough trust to participate in it The story of a husband who stopped during sex because his wife seemed distant - and why that mattered How to respond to your own arousal with curiosity instead of panic or suppression Bridgett shares her own experience navigating arousal and grief after a breakup, and the three discuss practical ways to have honest conversations about physical boundaries in Christian dating. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/drL1Mf5hhYE == If you're a Christian who wants to date with clarity and self-awareness, this is where you start. 📱Follow @datinganddesire on Instagram for updates and conversation. ==Sam Jolman, therapist and author of The Sex Talk You Never Got, gives honest, practical answers rooted in Scripture and decades of counseling. Connect with Sam 💻 Sam’s article on blessing arousal Substack | samjolman.substack.com Instagram | @samjolman Website | samjolman.comArticle "How to Bless Arousal" == Connect with Bridgett: Instagram Website | Coaching| Free Resources| RECLAIM Cohort📓Get the free Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide == Connect with Lauren: Instagram | Website Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. Get the free guide here!
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